I'm female, mid-twenties, and have complicated feelings for a male friend of mine. We've known one another 7 years. During the first 4, he was in a relationship and although I had feelings for him that whole time, I didn't act upon it out of respect for him and his partner. Although we were friends, we were never that close; we'd hang out in the same groups, but he wouldn't get in touch to spend time together outside of that.
Three years ago, I moved abroad. A few months later, he split with his girlfriend. I'd visit home for a few weeks a year and during that time we became a lot closer. He was always excited to hear I'd be home and would text me almost every day to hang out. He started calling me by pet names and ending texts with lots of kisses - I mention this because it was very different to his previous ambivalence.
Now, I've moved back home and although I thought I was over my feelings for him, I've found myself wondering about 'us'. We're both single and looking and even after all these years, I still have a soft spot for him. He seems a bit flirty (pet names, hugs and kisses, touches me often, compliments me often, protective of me, etc.) but I'm scared I might be reading too much into this, given my past infatuation with him. The two times in the past I've tried to turn a close friendship with a guy into a relationship they flat out rejected me and it utterly destroyed both friendships.
He's my closest friend in this country and we're contemplating living together, but I think I need to resolve my feelings for him first. If I make a move, there's a lot to lose, but there's also a lot to gain. What would you do?