I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. I just moved in with him and his 10 year old about 3 months ago. The lack of discipline on the 10 year old is starting to aggravate me a little bit. I understand that I'm not the mother, and I understand hes not my child. However, there has been a few times the child has raised his voice at me. He found it funny for a short period to kick me as hard as possible in the shins (until I kicked him back). He just seems to be lacking manners.
I'm 26, my boyfriend is 32. There are rules, but his son seems to be becoming more defiant. I was raised very strict. I was not allowed to tell people to shut up, I wasn't allowed to whine, raise my voice. And I had to pick up after myself. My boyfriend is a very dominant person. I'm surprised he is so lenient. Just yesterday his son said Dad, can I go ride my bike across the street. Dad responded with "Is your homework done?" The 10 year old SCREAMED back, OH MY GOD DAD, YES!! Dad asked "Did you do your reading?" 10 year old responded back with "No Dad, oh my god I want to go ride my bike!" Dad responds with You know you don't get far pouting with me. The 10 year old stopped with the whiny pout in his voice, but was still YELLING. Then told his dad to SHUT UP.
I know that if I did this to my father, I would of had my ass handed to me. Not to mention this 10 year old has C's and D's in school. And schoolwork and studying needs to be of more importance.
Besides that, the child does not have any regards for things around him. Throwing rocks at cars, finding things to light on fire, spray painting the deck with smiley faces, etc.
How do I politely say to my boyfriend hello, you're the adult? Ground him, give him chores, dont let him raise his voice than get what he wants? I don't want to come off as a "bitch." And I care about his child, I don't want to be the evil "step mom." But there's a lack of discipline. And if he wants to be spoken to like that and hes fine with it... hey, kudos. But how do I handle it when the child raises his voice at me? Tells me to shut up? Besides the rudeness the kid is great.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? Have times changed that much that kids can talk like that and get what they want? Whats the best way to bring this up?