I am seeking help on the following situation:
I am a law enforcement officer, therefore I deal with a lot of people at all times. Two years ago I was introduced to a new coworker, who at first did not catch my attention and we never spoke. In fact, I never spoke with her until last year in 2004. Eventually we worked together on a project and from that moment on she caught my attention. I was very impressed with her character, sense of independence and quick thinking skills. From that moment on, I did what I could to get to know her better. We developed a great working relationship and we became very open with each other at work. One day I asked her out and she blushed, got choked up and accepted. The day of the date, she calls me up with a silly excuse and re schedules the date, the next time she comes up with another excuse and so on. It felt like I was back in high school and she really turned me off.
I got tired of all her excuses and was willing to move on. But I didn't want to move on with doubt, so I went to her office and told her how I felt about her. She was shocked, blushing and silent with no words to offer. As she began to speak, out of no where an emergency came and I had to go.
Because of the nature of the emergency I was out of town for 4 days. During that time I actually felt relieved almost like getting closure from a bad relationship (that I never had to begin with). When I got back to the office 4 days later she had left me an e-mail and a few voice mails on my cell and office line. I didn't even read it nor responded. I just wanted to move on and that was it.
Finally she came to my office and we spoke for a good 20 minutes. She basically told me that she doesn't want a relationship because she feels like she is still getting over her last relationship. She loves talking to me and finds me as a great guy to talk to but she doesn't want to get involved in a relationship right now. Apparently her last boyfriend did a severe numbe on her.
This is my opinion and would love to hear what you guys have to say but from past experience, when a girl tells you that "she just wants to be friends" it usually means, "I am not interested". I have heard this line before from women and you become good friends with them and then one day they introduce you to their new boyfriend and that really hurts.
Working with her has become very difficult because I just find her irresistible. I do notice when I try to distance myself and don't e-mail her, call or or pass by her office she quickly seeks my attention and always stresses that she values our friendship. But now that she knows that I like her and I send her flowers, buy her lunch or ask her out, she will then tell me that she doesn't want to lead me on, she just wants to be friends. It is not her words but more her expression, almost like if she is in fear. Someone must have really hurt her in a past relationship or she must think I am serial killer. The latter is b.s. since we are law enforcement agents.
We work in a male environment and a pretty girl like her gets lots of attention but I notice how most my co workers respect her and stay away. They view her as too serious. She doesn't allow anyone in her heart.
I don't know what to do. Should I move on and entertain other offers from other women or should I wait and see. I really like this girl and I am willing to wait but at the same time I don't want to waste my time or get hurt later on. Can a woman be so hurt from a past relationship that one year after she still doesn't want to date anyone? What do you think? I am leaning on moving on?