My boyfriend and I broke up from a very serious relationship where we lived together and dated for practically 4.5 years. While dating, we were practically married. His family lived downstairs (we lived in a pretty big place), and his mom called me the "daughter she never had". When we broke up, I felt like I lost part of my family — it was very hard.
So I decided to move across the country and started a completely new life — new apartment, new job, new friends, etc.
Before I moved, I had a few rebounds. They were fun and I ended up becoming friends with the guys, but nothing serious.
The first week, after I moved here, I met this wonderful guy, who seemed perfect for me in every way, but because I was so nervous about getting serious, after my long breakup, I decided to wait it out and keep dating. My plan didn't work as expected — I went on about 9 different dates and kept seeing the wonderful guy and to make a long story short, we decided to become exclusive.
I have been really happy since committing to him, it's been about 2 months, except I have one serious problem, which really bugs me.
There are some times when he is into his own life and does not pay any attention to me, where I think "oh well, what if this doesn't work out? i can always meet someone else". I feel SPACE is really good for a relationship, but for some reason the space makes me feel SO insecure. I wonder if I rushed into the relationship too fast, but honestly I felt like I didn't want to give up someone so amazing, so smart, so wonderful.
Maybe it's because I work freelance fulltime and can basically do whatever I want with my time and work whenever i want. I need a life outside of him, but I know that I am needy and want to be with someone who devotes their entire life to me.
I can't figure out if I am ridiculously insecure, an attention wh0re or need to be with someone who will give me everything I want. Nobody is perfect at all, but it would be nice to find someone who I felt 100% content with — is that impossible? Is imperfection in a relationship meant to be? Should I end this relationship and work on myself until I am ready? Should I have waited to get into a new relationship?