Some advice needed, (long post) Thanks!

[chevy power]

I have a feeling this is going to be all over so please bear with me. I am 19 years old, in my second year of college. I have been with my current girlfriend for 3 years, she is a senior in high school going to be attending the school I am attending. About 2 years ago she was in contact with her ex boyfriend. I found out she was talking about me bad behind my back while I was at her house, she was in contact with him for a few months and things got out of hand, she would call me and say good night and spend hours on the phone with him. He lives in new hampshire, I am from ohio.

I had issues when I found out about it, I also went about it the wrong way telling her not to talk to him at all. We had issues with that until the end of summer when I finally broke down and had let her know it was wrong and really hurt me. She stopped for a while as far as I know, I would check her phone and computer all the time. Looking back this was extremely wrong to do. I regret how I went about it. She has been in contact but much more casual as far as I know. Until about a month ago when she said she needed a break I knew what i was doing was not right but did not think into how it made her feel and I dont think she really thought about how what she was doing made me feel.

We have had our ups and downs like everyone else, we have had some other major events that I handled completely wrong I approach things with an aggressive attitude and do not think about how she feels when I say things. We were not together for about 2 weeks, we spent time together, I worked on giving her space, had terrible anxiety the whole time and felt like i couldnt function. She finally one day hugged me and said I am sorry it took so long I love you with all my heart. I said okay but I have some things I need to work on and so do you.

This is what brings me here now. She is on spring break and was at a friends house from Saturday to yesterday. She has kept in touch. I have had the worst anxiety I have ever felt, she txt me saying she misses me and loves me, but in the back of my mind I am going crazy because I dont know what she is doing. She has not spent much time with her friends like this for such a long period of time. We are good together, but I am at a point where I am not healthy going like this and eventually I am going to act and say things I know are wrong. I never thought I would be the controlling jealous type, It is not something I am proud of. I do not want to hurt her and I do not want to keep living with this anxiety.

I probbaly already know the advice that I am going to get and its find time for your self do what you enjoy and spend time with your friends. The problem is I used to be a very motivated person, and lately I have tried to plan everything around when she is going to be available so I could spend the time with her. I always want to leave work, sitting through class gives me terrible anxiety, and being on the computer makes me want to just read about relationships and try to self diagnose what is going on. I have learned alot from that and i now see how a healthy relationship has to be.

My thoughts are completely out of line, she just called me and wanted to say good night and that she loves me and cant wait to spend time with me on Friday. But still I know where she is at who she is with but my mind creates unreasonable scenarios. I appreciate any insight on what I am going through.

[1averagejoe]

So let me get this straight...she's in another state than you? So basically you've been boyfriend and girlfriend for about two years while you were out of state? And about two years ago she started talking with her ex behind your back? Hmm...

I don't want to sound like an ass but I think it may be time to move on before you get more hurt. Let me state something that needs to be said about all high school girls...they're ****ing nuts. Find someone in college and don't let these years pass you by and end up doing something you regret by staying around and letting her choke your chain.

[chevy power]

Sorry I knew It was confusing. She lives 10 minutes from me, we are good relationship wise right now but if I dont change the way I go about things it is never going to work out. She rarely talks to the ex who lives out of state. He moved away in 8th grade, so it was not like they had any thing to serious going on. We were both virgins when we first got together. And did not have sex until about 6 months in.