Lazy, unmotivated boyfriend? Or am I being unreasonable?

[Romaniac]

Hi everyone, i'm real confused and lost with what to do with my situation. I don't have many friends I can speak to about this, i'm a pretty busy person, and just don't have the time to sit and talk to someone about my relationship problems. I'm 21 years old, and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together for going on three years now.

We've lived together for two of those three years. When we first met, he had a full time steady job, a means of transportation, and social life, and seemed like a well rounded guy. We hit it off real quick, and soon found we had alot in common. About a year later, we rented an apartment together.

After about six months, I noticed a huge change, He lost his job, and was constantly looking for a new job, or getting fired, or looking for excuses not to go to work. He complains that he is sick, that his head hurts, that he's been throwing up, and the excuses go on and on and on. He's going on 28 years old, he hasn't been to college, let his truck get repossesed, i've covered his part of expenses on multiple occasions, we're behind on our electric bill, he now has so much debt it's ridiculous. He doesn't really help clean the house, and if he does it's half-a**ed, the only things he does while at home is occasionally take our dogs outside, play xbox, and drink beer.

He works about 3 hours a day as a server at a restraunt, and I am usually the one giving him a ride back and forth to work, because his lisence is suspended for tickets, and because he no longer has a vehicle.

On the other hand, I am a manager at an office, I work 55 hours a week, and go to school part time. I come home, clean the house, do my homework, study, take care of the dogs, and he watches me do this, while he looks for pot to smoke, or drinks his beer, or plays the xbox.

Then when I say anything to him, he tells me that he's trying and that I am being unreasonable.

He blames me, and tells me that it's because he feels like I am no longer attracted to him, and to be honest, I'M NOT, I resent him, because I have to work constantly, pay part of his bills, take care of his dog, all while i'm in school. He constantly asks to borrow my car, to take him places, to pick him up from somewhere.

And when I bring anything up to him he gets pissed! Then he gets mad when I don't want to have sex with him. I work 11 hours a day, go to school for three, then clean the house and take care of dogs. of course i'm going to be too tired and exhausted to have sex with him.

I've tried talking to him about it, and it doesn't work. he'll ask me why I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and when I start explaining to him that I am tired, he says things like he's trying, or that he's tired of not feeling needed. It's driving me INSANE.

and he's the most NEGATIVE person on the face of the planet. I almost can't STAND to be near him for more than a few minutes. He INSTANTLY brings my mood down.

I'm on this new lease by myself, and he is living with me, but I can't pay for ALL the bills by myself, and it's only a one bedroom apartment. Plus if I kick him out he'll be homeless. I'll have to quit school and get a second job, and I don't want to have to do that.

I still have 11 months on this lease. I don't know what to do! Thanks so much in advanced, if you have any other questions, feel free to ask me, i'm sorry this is so long, I just really need another persons opinion of this.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dump him, and kick him out. I guess let him stay if he can some how make rent, but if he can't send him back to his parents house. He's not your child. You can find someone to sublease your apartment from you, and you can move into a house with an open room and some roommates.

You're wasting your money and more importantly, your time with him.

[Romaniac]

I've thought of this. The problem is, he does help with some of the bills. I can't do everything on my own financially, even though right now it feels like i'm doing everything else on my own. (I pay for almost everything, his bills month are about 600 dollars less than mine). My apartment complex doesn't allow roommates, and even if they did it's a one bedroom apartment. I've considered moving back in with my mother and going to school full time, but I don't want to break this lease, and I still have 11 months left on it. Fortinatly, he is NOT on the lease this time.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't know if you understood what I said, so I'll break it down again.

Find someone to sublease your apartment. That person will then move in and take over the bills. Instead of moving home, you can move to a house that already has a couple roommates living there, with an extra room(there are lots of them). Check craigslist for shared rooms/shared housing. You can also check craigslist for subletters to take over your apartment as well. When you move out, your ex will have to find somewhere else also.

Also, don't answer any phone calls/texts/email/telegrams/anything once you break up with him. This loser is going to constantly try to guilt you. You have no reason to feel guilty.

[Cerby]

I've thought of this. The problem is, he does help with some of the bills. I can't do everything on my own financially, even though right now it feels like i'm doing everything else on my own. (I pay for almost everything, his bills month are about 600 dollars less than mine). My apartment complex doesn't allow roommates, and even if they did it's a one bedroom apartment. I've considered moving back in with my mother and going to school full time, but I don't want to break this lease, and I still have 11 months left on it. Fortinatly, he is NOT on the lease this time.

This puts your initial posts credibility in question, it was all "I do everything!" to "Well, he does help out with this". I think there might be more to this story, or you're just venting.

If things ARE as bad as you say, find someone to take over the lease as said, and as soon as you do, end the relationship, transfer the lease, and move out.

[surfhb]

Yeah....don't say he does nothing because, without him, you wouldn't be able to live a normal life outside of your mothers house.

But if you resent him, break it off and move back home