Long Distance Love.....does he like me?

[Chefsgirl]

Ok so I met this guy online.He's wonderful! I'm 34 he's 42. He lives 6 hrs away. We r both separated & have children. We see each other every 2 weeks. We've been seeing each other for 4 months. He drives most of the way just to see me. We r very intimate and passionate when we r together. We really love each other. His job is slow right now, and is asking me to pay 1/2 for the hotel. He also said once that his ex sees the credit card statement when he reserves the room. Is asking me to reserve the room sometimes. He hasn't bought me any gifts. We go to dinner and he pays most of the time. As I spend more time with him, he's very reserved, independent likes to be alone, relax and watch tv. I've been giving him space and I notice he's been texting me more. We text and he calls me daily. He always calls me when he's on the road. The text and calls have been less since the beginning.I'm so confused never been in a long distance relationship. Also we r not Facebook friends, is that bad?

[ConniptionFit]

LDR's are often the territory of the emotionally unavailable or person who is involved with someone else. Sounds like he is, at the very least, the latter.

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps I'm being a bit dim here but why would his EX see his credit card statement?

[Chefsgirl]

My boyfriend said they still have credit cards together. She doesn't work. He supports his son and pays the house bills. I was in the same situation with my ex we still had our checking together but I recently got my own account. I still have access to his accounts?

[Chefsgirl]

His ex complains to him that he uses the card for hotel. So she's aware about me. I know this sounds immature but I left him hickeys on his neck, to see if his ex notices, she did. He lets me. I don't do it no more. He says I can reserve I work I pay the bills.

[Boisdevie]

He shares his credit card with his ex? I find that hard to believe. I have an ex. We share NOTHING. Sounds very wierd to me. And leaving marks on his neck to make his ex notice - juvenile

[Chefsgirl]

I know I dont do it no more...that's why I'm a lil unsecure about the relationship. He gets very busy with his job and work weekends. He will drive one day just to see me. That's why I think ok he must like me. He's not always on the phone like me. When we r together he loves to cuddle watch TV and relax. Guess he doesn't relax much with his job. He wants me to move up there in a year. I told him b4 I go up there we both have to file for divorce. He's aware of it and agrees.

[Cinnabella]

I guess you can work through it as LD in your case is not a permanent issue.

But I find it hard to believe that his ex still has the control over his... financial. He doesn't need to report what he uses for even if they have a kid, I think?

[Chefsgirl]

I totally agree...that's what I think. Like why does she still have access? He told me he's leaving her the house cuz he left her. He stays with a friend some days of week and other days at the house. I ask him if he will ever go back or does she want u back. He says NO! It's hard not to think if he's being honest. He was married for 15 yrs so was I. They have no family around them she's from another country his family is from another state. IDK what to think?

[Boisdevie]

Suspicious. Sounds to me like he's stringing you along. What real proof do you have that he really wants to leave his wife? Are you the bit on the side?

[Chefsgirl]

What questions should I ask him? Ugh I'm stressin now

[Wakeup]

His job is slow right now, and is asking me to pay 1/2 for the hotel. He also said once that his ex sees the credit card statement when he reserves the room. Is asking me to reserve the room sometimes.

Tell him you want to meet in his town next time and for him to arrange for the hotel. Tell him while you're there, you'd like to meet his ex or at least talk to her on the phone. See what he has to say about that. I suggest you ask to speak to her about just how "separated" they are because there is every indication that this man is not even divorced/separated or estranged from his wife and is still very much involved with her as his life partner.

You don't even know this man or how he acts outside of your sexual hookups. Protect yourself and find out everything you can about why he is still so very much a part of his wife's life and her his life.

I think you're his friend with benefits. You are falling for a man based on sex weekends in a hotel. What? I know you won't just give him up so at the very least you should know if he's still married and just getting some on the side. If he's actually not still part of a marriage he'll have no trouble with you calling him at home or speaking with his EX wife.

What's wrong with the men in your own home town/city? At least you get to see them for more than a romp in a cheap hotel.

[Chefsgirl]

Actually I have spent a couple of days in his area. He showed me where he lived. I do have his home #. I never called though. I have his address and email. I'm I thinking too fast we've been with each other for 4 months. We stay in pretty nice hotels lol. I did meet a people from
His work. He was holding my hand showing me the place.

[Wakeup]

Okay, so he's not hiding you. Now, you just have to worry about why he and her are still very much involved in each others financial lives. Obviously they have not split the assets and have not fully severed their marriage. (and are no where close to doing that) That means you are carrying on in hotels (even pretty nice ones that you pay half for) with A STILL MARRIED MAN who hasn't processed his baggage and could very well have an open type marriage where all you'll ever be is his hotel date. It could be for more but not until he's finished his marriage.

You might want to dial back your feelings for him until you're sure that they have absolutely no chance of reconciling and that they are indeed ending their union. I'm a firm believer in ending one relationship before starting another. If nothing else you are in danger of being his **** buddy or a rebound. Have you even asked him if you two are exclusive? If you haven't for all you know he's going to bed with you, his wife (she's still not an ex yet) and anyone else that will meet him and is willing to have sex with him from the dating site

You say you love each other very much. How do you know? You're basing your good sex hookups as being love. What loving actions does he show you so far? From what I can see, none. He hasn't friended you on facebook (the wife will see) He makes you book the hotel (because his wife will get upset). You've only seen him a few times in 4 moths. It's not like you're seeing each other often during the week in those 4 months you've know him.

You need to slow your feelings down and stop using lust as a basis for your feelings of "love." Love is an action word.. what actions is he showing you that he loves you? Sex is not an action that shows he loves you if all you have togeth is sex.

[Chefsgirl]

He says we r exclusive, does driving 6 hrs prove that he loves me?