2 people crazy for eachother story and problem..

[lfjim]

I was talking to this girl in thailand for 3 years online just as friends.. nothing more.. then when we met this year.. we both made out pretty passionately.. from there on.. we got really close.. almost crazy close.. i told her it seems like we're both pretty crazy for eachother.. and she agreed.. she's 22.. i'm 32, here in the states, and she's over there in thailand.. anyway, so she started law school and her parents don't approve of her relationship w/ me because they believe she needs 100% focus on school.. before we would talk over 6 hours nonstop almost everyday for weeks.. but now they took away her phone.. we were able to communicate through email.. but she's not doing so well in school.. and not able to focus on school entirely because of me.. then later she sent a breakup email saying that she really needs to be able to finish her law school before she can have a relationship.. all this happened in a span of 3 months.. before we would chat, txt, talk everyday.. and i felt genuinely close w/ her.. and felt it was very mutual.. here's the thing though.. her law school ends in 4 years.. and i really don't want to wait that long.. it's so risky.. everyone needs that closeness.. it's hard for either of us to maintain such an empty heart for so long..

what i'm thinking is that.. i should visit her anyway when she's on her school break.. not a surprise, i'lll get her consent.. here's the thing.. i have a family reunion in japan during her break.. i'm thinking of visiting her after the family reunion.. but obviously if it's such a short visit.. then she'll start thinking about me again and can't focus in school.. i'm pretty much retired already.. my companies pays my bills every month and then some w/o me being there.. if anything.. i can even live in thailand if it comes to that.. i can drive her to school and maintain a relationship w/ her there.. her sister wasn't permitted to have a relationship when she was in law school too.. but she ended up having one anyway.. so i'm thinking.. they've already paved the way.. why can't she have a relationship too? my friends consider that i'm a good guy.. a friend told me when i was buzzed at the bar.. i was dancing with a few girls there and he over heard me saying "i'm taken".. i didn't even remember i said that.. but i guess it shows something.. i really want to be able to pursue this girl.. it's worth it.. it's not that much trouble.. i can maintain a living anywhere in the world as i wish.. i think in 3 months i should go anyways and attempt to visit her w/ consent.. she is so amazing to me.. i don't have difficulty meeting women here.. and i have a strong sense she isn't just going for me for my US status.. she's really just into me for me..

does anyone have any suggestions for me to make this situation groove better in terms of getting together with her? i'm thinking i can start a business in thailand so it gives me a natural reason to be there all the time..

here are the positives:
- it'll help her country
- create jobs for her ppl (basically helping ppl out)
- allows me to be there with her naturally..
- could be a profitable venture anyways

negatives
- risky owning a foreign asset
- i might cause her to lose focus in school
- risking her parents approval of me

kinda think of it.. i can just start a business there w/o her consent really? it's fair game.. we're officially broken up anyways

let me know if you have any suggestions ideas.. or questions.. thanks for reading this far!

[IncognitoSir]

Well, what you want is a long shot...........a ver long shot. She has 4 more years of law school and you want her to have a secret relationship with you? Probably not. If she's already struggling with school then that proves she cant handle the load of school and you. Even though her sister did it, doest mean she's capable of doing the same. Two different people. She's only 22, you need to remember that. She'll probably be a totally different person in a year, 2 years. Especially going thru law school. Sounds like you're pretty well off and you wanna start a business in Thailand just to be close to her. I think thats way over the top and a bit stalkerish. I think you should just keep in contact but it doesnt look like a relationship is really possible for her. Unless you dont mind her risking her grades for you.

[lfjim]

Thanks for your input! i think you have a point.. well.. it definitely wouldn't be a secret relationship.. it can't be.. her cousins are my very close friends here.. but i see your point. at least allow her to explore herself on her own first.. maybe the first year or 2..

i'll just go visit her then when she's on break.. and if things work out.. then i can throw the idea of starting a small operation there just to test things out.. i've always wanted to start an outsource business there.. when i was there 3 years ago.. i felt like that would be a good business opportunity.. i can grow significantly business-wise w/ that kind of affordable labor..

in the past.. she's done better than her sister in school.. even with a secret relationship! while her sister didn't have a relationship.. it's just an adjustment thing for her right now.. she's barely started law school.. we'll see how she does in this semester then..

also something to consider is that.. ppl in thailand usually settles down pretty early in age.. and mature at an earlier age..

some can see starting a business just to be close w/ someone can be a bit stalkerish.. but just living there to be close to her would be unnatural too, and a bit loser-ish.. i would just be fiddling my thumbs while she's studying and in school.. the idea is to see if our relationship can be maintained through the daily grind.. rather than me just being there on vacation mode -- always being happy -- which isn't real..

her doing not so well in school is because of the distance factor i believe.. she just misses me so much and really can't satisfy her cravings causes her to think about me all the time.. i think it would be different if was closer.. as proven in the past for her..

i'm not very very well off.. i can definitely use a boost in business.. i just maintain a pretty modest to good income level right now.. nothing where i can be totally retired..

so positives:
- boost my income level
- test relationship through daily grind

negative
- can be viewed as stalkerish

things to consider:
- she may change in a few years
- allow her to at least to discover herself for the first semester or year
- visit her first then suggest her the idea if things go well..

but if i just start a business w/o her consent.. it WOULD be stalkerish haha.. i just read that line again and can see how you feel .. definitely won't be doing that! i'd need her consent