Hello.
Like many people, I've been having some issues with my boyfriend's family. It's not necessarily that I don't like them- I do. They're nice, at least from what I've seen. The issue is that they don't repect/don't care about my boyfriend's and my relationship. I am very busy- working and doing gigs, so when I plan times to see my boyfriend I can't easily just adjust them. We only see each other once or twice a week usually. He will tell his family he has plans with me and at the last minute they will spring something on him to take them somewhere or run some errand that EASILY could have waited (he lives with them!!). I think that's rude on their part- if he told me he had plans with his fam I wouldn't ask him to do something with me all of a sudden at the exact same time that his family event was. If it were infrequent it wouldn't bother me, but this happens to at least 50% of our plans. I don't think they have a specific issue with me, although I'm 3 years older than him, but I don't think that bothers them (we're both over 21). I'm not sure about his grandmother because a) the very few times I've called there she's sounded annoyed at me, and I mean I'm always polite, and b) I know it's petty, but one time she made this comment that I look a lot bigger than she'd remembered, even though I've been losing weight O_o. I just don't know how to deal. It's really frustrating sometimes, but I like my bf a lot. His grandma's husband died last fall so I've been sensitive to that, and his mom, uncle, and aunt are all single so I guess since my bf is an only child it makes me kind of the odd one out. I don't know...I just want our relationship to be respected and not consistently intruded upon. Even last night, we were on the phone and his grandma just picked up mid convo (awkward) and was like "'Matt,' I need to use the phone. You can call her back later." Who is an 80-year-old woman calling at 11pm??? Phone convo interruptions are pretty frequent as well. His cell phone is off right now for financial reasons, by the way. I live at home right now too and my parents never barge in on my plans with him. Any thoughts or suggestions?