She Lied to me Now Shes Annoyed... Fair?

[r100per]

I have already posted mu situation in an earlier thread. My Girlfriend of 5 1/2 years went traveling for 9 months asked me to wait, i did, she dumps me 2 weeks before she is due back and says she wants to be alone for a while as she enjoyed it so much.

Anyway i get over this reason, she wants to be alone. Then when shes back she is never around her friends from before, and always hard to contact, (phone off or 'out of signal') so i tried calling her home, speak to her mum and she mistakes me for a guy called ross. Hmm new boyfriend me thinks. So i ask her cos she was traveling with a bloke called ross. No not at all she says hes just a mate sortin me out a car. the reason why i wanted to know is cos it would mean that all of the reasons why she broke up with me would not be true.

Anyway some time passes, nobody really speaks to her. I get really down cos i still miss her then out of the blue i get a call from her tellin me that she is goin to a party that one of our goodfriends is at and that she was takin a guy that she likes, who, guess what, is called ross. The only reason why she told me then was cos she didnt want to put our friend in a possition where she would have to lie to me or break her secret. But she says i dont want a boyfriend so dont worry its only about sex. This obviously crushes me, sends me into a deep depression, i couldnt sleep, eat, concentrate i had to start goin to councilors i was put on anti depressants and after a few weeks i started to feel better. Anyway i go for a drink with her and had a really nice evenin catchin up, chattin about stuff. She reasures me that she is still single and this guy is just a good mate. She tells me it wasnt me it was her she couldnt do with the commitment right now. I said i wished we had just met cos things could have been different. She replies yeah i could but if i had just been in a realitionship with anyone for 5 1/2 years i still would want to be alone right now. so im fine cos the reasons she gave me for breaking up stand.

Anyway a few weeks later one of our mutual friends accidently lets slip that she has moved to south hampton to live with this bloke which knocks me back into depression she had been lying to me the whole time. So anyway cos im moving away and had already set up a meetin just to say bye and such before i go she rings me to tell me she cant make it so i ask her if they were more than just frends to which she finally replies yes we are more than friends. I get really upset, she get angry with me cos its none of my buisness. She says that it would be best if we had no contact for a while.

Anyway a few weeks pass and i stated to get really angry that she had just lied to me for 5 months, maybe to protect me or maybe to save her own face, so i send her a message pointing this out that im angry that she had no respect or decency to just tell me the truth and pointed out all of her lies. and said that she owes me an apology

Anyway she gets pissed of with me telling me that she had apologed over and over again, if i though she was such a terrible person then i should be glad to be rid or her, she had tried to be nice and decent but i responed my 'going mental'. she says its a shame that weve ended like this and good luck with my new life.

Shes angry with me??? For 5 months ive never been angry with her, she said she wanted me as a friend and i didnt want to lose her from my life so we tried to be friend, but every time she droped a new peice of info on me i kept gettin upset. And now for the first time i say im angry with her from what shes done she sget angry and says well never speak again.

Now i feel even worst cos i expressed my anger to her hoping that she would see what shes done and be apologetic and instead she hates me more. I dont know what to do to get over her, cos now im not only still in love with my ex girlfrend but she hates me and never wants to speak to me. I did nothing wrong but im being punished and it hurts so much.

sorry for such a long post im just really upset. If anyone has any advice it would be great ly apppriecated

[kene]

I feel sorry for you r100per. My advice is do a clean break from this person.

This is really sad to me. As a guy, I know how bad it can be to spend so much quality time with a gal and when you break up or separate not be afforded some basic dignity, honesty, openess, respect etc.

And now things have dissolved such that she doesn't want to ever talk to you. And that kind of leaves such a bitter/sour taste in your mouth.

And some women (sounds like your ex-gal is one of them) just does stuff and waits for you to get upset so that she can then excuse her insenstivity to you being a jerk because you got mad at her.

What you do is this. Get over it. I'll say it again GET OVER IT and MOVE ON!

[bluesummer]

Stop letting it affect you so much. Sure, you were with her for a long time, but she has moved on. Regardless of her reasons for breaking up....maybe they WERE genuine in the beginning?....you're making this situation even worse for yourself by continuing to let it eat at you. Not to mention that nine months apart is a really long time, and most people wouldn't realistically expect to stay together over that period.

I guess you have to ask yourself, in the whole grand scheme of things, does the reason she broke up with you REALLY matter?

My ex that I was with for five years thought we would be better off if we 'gave each other some space'. A week later he told me he thought he was better off being single for a long time because he needed to sort his life out. Three months later I hear through the grapevine he's dating some girl from work that I accused of hitting on him all the time. Was I pissed off? Sure. Then I realized he was having fun with this chick while I was at home, being depressed. So I decided to go have my own fun, and pretty soon I stopped caring about him and his reasons for breaking up. Turned out to be for the best, anyways.

[Mish]

Well, she broke up with you. She can do what she wants now. Yeh she was dishonest, but you are no longer a part of her life so she can do that if she wants to. Let her be. Do the no contact thing. Accept that she's gone.

[idoubtit]

If she leaves you, why do you still care why or whom she is with right now?

You two used to be part of each other's life but not any more.

Just try to find a new gf.

Time will heal the wound.

No one is irreplaceable in one's life, except for his own parents.

[Gigabitch]

You can't be friends with your ex. Accept this completely and it will be easy to move on.

[krondragon]

Yeah just leave it. My ex totally crushed me and even though I still feel the residual effects, you just need to tell yourself that even though you care about her and want her to be happy and all that jazz, try to not give a SHIT. I'm not saying this to be mean. If you want to put it in nicer terms, instead of saying you don't care, just admit that you do care but you'd rather not think about it.