Feels like everytime I break free he gets mad

[LostInLove85]

My fiance is usually in control in our relationship, because if he isnt he gets mad or acts so annoying and childish that I give in. It seems like whenever I get any drink in me or listen to music I like and get somewhat confident again (which I used to be all the time) even though I dont say anything mean to him at all, despite what he says to me, he gets pissed and tries to put a stop to it. At first I responded by thinking 'god I must be annoying when I drink/listen to music/loose control' but now I pay attention and have realized I havent done anything during those times which would annoy. I love to dance, and I don't because I can't listen to any music that would make me in the mood to dance, because when I do he gets upset. Then he asks me things like 'well why dont you dance if you like it?' in response to me focusing on his hobbies more than mine. I need to feel good about myself to dance, and I don't when he is criticizing me, making fun of me, telling me what to do/like etc. and when I do he tells me Im 'out of control' even though I am not only not half as mean/crazy as he usually is, but not mean or crazy at all. How do I handle this?

[Mish]

Beside "You are out of control", what exactly does he say to you when you listen to music or dance to make you upset? Is this when you are at home or anywhere?

[Rollerderby]

He is squashing you. He is being ridiculous. I dunno, insecurity? I would think twice about marrying this man if I were you. Are you happy? I wouldn't want someone telling me I can't listen to my music, and then go and marry them. What other kinds of rules do you think he will make later?

[SAVANAH]

His got major insecurities and you need to do something asap...
Your not even married and he thinks he owns you, I know you don't want to hear..."leave his ass" but c'mon girl his walking all over you and can see you having a tough time getting through to him, you need to set some boundaries really things will only get worst, I hope his not at all abusive (physically) as thins is emotional abuse, once boundaries are set don't let him take that away.

I don't know if boundaries will work but in your case and the kind of man your dealing with, I don't know if there's anything else.

Good luck

[ellie]

I hope you do realize that these are major warning signs for men who might become violent later on. I don't mean to scare you, but the most significant thing about men who abuse women is the need of being in control, jealousy when she shows she has other interests besides him etc.

It may be he's just a very controlling person, but I'd just like to warn you.

I'd leave him asap. Look at yourself. You're not even married, what do you think is further down the road? He is abusing you - mentally if not else.

You need to have your own life