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Thread: new LDR or is he lonely?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1

    new LDR or is he lonely?

    so, i need some advice, and this may be a long and confusing story, but thank in you advance...

    alright, so this summer i met a guy and we got along great, but i went into it (and he knew this b/c i told him it was what i wanted) as a summer fling because after the summer was ending we were going to our respective schools (which are about a 3 states away from each other). it has been a few months since, and we still talk about once a month online or on the phone - very small stuff, but recently he's told me he still really likes me and compares every girl he dates to me still. he wants me to come out and visit him and i'm unsure of what to do.

    part of me doesn't really trust his intentions. he has two girls at school who like him and want to date him, but he's "putting them off b/c he's thinking about me," which i'm not sure how to take because i do not expect him to "ask my permission" to date/hook up with other girls because as far as i'm concerned we are just friends now. he wants to start dating and start off long distance, but i'm just not sure how i feel (i'm cool with being single / relationships are a lot of work / i like him but i'm not sure how much) and what his intentions are. plus i'm not sure how to read him if he is still going out to bars and trying to get numbers from other girls. i'm thinking he is just lonely?

    i told him he needs to figure out what he wants, too, because he has me on this pedestal because we have been apart for so long, but he insists he does not. but he is still going on dates with other girls? i did already promise to come visit him - but just as friends, but he has the entire weekend planned out and is really excited for me to come. i guess i'm just confused in what this all means and what to do about it.

    any suggestions/advice?

    thanks so much.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    1,655
    Suggest that he take your pussy off a pedestal and date real people in front of him rather than obsess over a summer flight turned e-relationship that never exited the honeymoon stage. Online relationships aren't real relationships. They can lead to real relationships, but while it's an online one you don't see all of the good/bad/ugly of the other person. You don't see them when they're not on their best behavior. You see them as they want you to see them.

    So, tell him you're flattered but that he needs to move on.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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