How do i get him to realise I want him back.

[YummYMummY84]

Im new to this site and wanting some help. My ex bf of 2 yrs broke up with me 10 months ago cause we were going through a rough patch and had one of his female friends interfering. Me and him have remained very close and good friends and I see him approx once a week.
I still love him I cant stop thinking about him and to top it off im due to have a baby anytime and i think it is his cos after he dumped me i got involved with someone else a few weeks later. Im not involved witht the other person anymore cos he was such an arse to me and my first ex comforted me during this time and i did the same when his next gf cheated on him.
I just want some opinions on what i can do to show him how much i care about him. He is coming with me into the hospital when i have this baby. Ive asked him but he goes i dunno i dunno like we r both single and when im with him he gives me the look like he used to give me when i was with him. He still cuddles me and affectionate with me so im confused.
How do i get him to notice i am for real and do want him back with all my heart?

[Ellynn]

Well.......your situation is not the best or easiest( i can only imagine)... But its cool he still remained close to you all throughout your pregnancy...

And its good that he is there for you. Maybe right now hes afraid of getting too involved because of the baby... I mean its gonna be different once u have the baby... You have another person to care for and give your all to. Maybe he doesn't want to intrude, but yet wants to be there for you.

How old are you both? If your really young, maybe thats whats kinda scaring him off from taking things further....

As for anything in the future, sure theres a possibility. But right now, if I were you, I would focus on being a mom and adjusting to that...before jumping back into a relationship with him.

In time things could work out between the two of you. But if anything I wouldn't rush it. I would just appreciate the time he spends with you...and eventually just let him know how you feel. Also, let him know you don't expect anything from him. Then see what he does. If he sticks around and wants to give it a try...then go for it! If he just sees you as a friend, then your gonna have to deal with it...

[King Zarathu]

You really ****ed yourself over.

I doubt the relationship with the other guy will work, since it was easily broken by a female friend interfering. Secondly, why'd you get pregnant when you knew you weren't ready for it? o.O

[mhussain]

You really ****ed yourself over.

Such sutblety is inspiring.

If you want to tell him that you want him back, wait till you have had your child for God forbid if his answer is not what you expect, than it might have an effect on the child.

After the birth of your child(who I pray is healthy and well) ... ask him simply and straight. Be sure to tell him you are not asking him back because you have had a child and that you need his help, but because you love him

Take care

Hussain

[YummYMummY84]

Im nearly 22 years of age so im not young. I didnt expect to get pregnant as i was told there would be only 10% chance id ever have kids and that really upheaved me when i found that out so i said y should i be on the pill when i know it is gonna decrease my chances more.
As for the person that said I ****ed myself over. I have alrady been so ****ed over before this pregnancy i was went through hell and this baby has been good for me and made me realise that There is more to life and moving on from the things that have happened to me.
My family r so supporting of me and my mum is over the moon about it and so am I.I dont want a full on relationship with him and he knows that i just want to show him how much i do love him and that he will always be in my heart as i am close to his family and him. His mother already classes me as her daughter so I have no probs with his family.
I know he is scared about the baby a big possibility it could be his but i have told him i dont expect anything from him as this is my child and im financilly able to support the baby and care for it. I know ppl are gonna say i could have got an abortion but it was my only chance to carry a baby full term mind u it hasnt been the easiest pregnancy with problems and staying in hospital but ppl's lives aint ****ed over when u have a kid.
Im sick of ppl that comment like that and down look on us chicks that are pregnanct an in this situation it just shows ppl that life aint so bloody rosie on the other side.

[Gigabitch]

I think he's waiting to find out if the baby is his before he makes a decision either way- and you shouldn't ask him for one until then. Yes, a paternity test is semi-expensive, but I think, for the baby's sake, you should do it. You need to know from day one who the father is.

Then you can worry about your love life, and maybe it will work itself out better than you imagine without you trying to make it happen.

[Ellynn]

Well yeah in your case a baby is a blessing..

Trust me, my friend was told back in high school she wouldn't be able to have kids and when she got pregnant at 18....she was excited... And now 3 kids later and a 4th on the way.....shes even happier... (shes 26 now). But its been tough...Im not gonna lie.

Your somewhat older.....and I think if your happy about this baby thats great! I do give you credit for taking on the responsibility instead of rushing to an abortion clinic to have it "taken care of".

But it is a big responsibility...no matter what age you are. I think we are just trying to prepare u for that... And if your feelings are there for that guy, regardless of you being pregnant or not...then maybe something real is there. I mean eventually hopefully it will work out. But if it doesn't, you are gonna have to think of your child first (which I hope you do). I mean, it definately will change your life. I just hope you are smart and realize where your priorities are now that you have the child.

Is that guy the same age?

[vashti]

Sorry to be a bitch, but you have a BABY on the way. I would think you would have more important things on your mind than your love life. You're a big girl now, and you should be entirely focused on this new life you are bringing into the world.

[Ellynn]

Vashti is right... I mean one of the first things my friends have said is that once they had a baby......there went their freedom.. They had to put the baby first.. They were happy about it, but they also missed out on alot... Its like saying goodbye to your youth... And Its good your taking responsibility.. But its alot different being pregnant, from having another human being to actually care for and be with 24/7.....(that is if u don't have a babysitter).

Not trying to diss you for wanting a relationship. I mean don't we all? Especially a good one with the right person.. But, in my eyes, when you have a child...they come first....regardless.

I just hope you think the same.

I really do hope things work out with that guy..though..

[YummYMummY84]

I understand what u guys r saying but i cant hold back cos i have a baby now the baby has to fit into ur life thats how i got told by all the hospital and ppl around me.
The guy is 26 years of age so he isnt young. I wouldnt be after him for just someone to be with i was devestated when me and him broke up. As I am saying is a baby isnt the end of the world and im not gonna stop everything cos i have a baby to look after ive seen what it does to some girls thinking no guy will want them but in reality its small minded ppl that think when a girl has a baby her life stops and she has to revolve it around the baby.
I wouldnt be wasting my time if i knew he didnt want me.He is a close he is like my best friend and whether he is or isnt the father i dont give a shit cause i dont want nothing from any guy.
I just want opinions on how i can disclose my feelings for him instead of just blurting it out.

[Ellynn]

Ok, fair enough... your life doesn't stop... But it definately changes... I cannot tell you I have heard any of my friends say that life was the same..after having kids. And thats not a negative thing....not at all. For some who are very young it might be....but as an adult its not..espcially if you want children.

Instead of just blurting it out...... Just let him know how much you appreciate him. Do something nice for him. Cook him dinner or something. Think of something he loves to do...and plan an evening of doing that. Most of the time actions speak louder then words...

[vashti]

The baby has to fit into YOUR life? That has to be about the most selfish thing I've read on these boards in a long while.

Let me tell you as a mother, the life you knew is OVER. You are starting a new one, and the sad truth is that you are going to be much less attractive in the dating world now that you have a baby, and you are going to have to make peace with that if you are going to be a decent mom.

Trust me when I say that you are focused on the WRONG thing. Apparently for you, men come and go, but this baby is forever.

How do you tell him you still like him? You aren't in high school anymore; you are someone's MOTHER. Just say it.

[Gigabitch]

I've found that some guys really like the mom thing. Some of the ones who are looking for something more than a fling find competent motherhood a turn-on to the core of their animal brains. I've got the soccer-mom, let-me-make-you-a-sandwich thing going on, and let me tell you, I attract better quality men than I did when I was wild and free.

[Ellynn]

Vashti's advice is blunt...but very true... Thats why I enjoy reading it myself. She doesn't sugarcoat it..

[vashti]

I've found that some guys really like the mom thing. Some of the ones who are looking for something more than a fling find competent motherhood a turn-on to the core of their animal brains. I've got the soccer-mom, let-me-make-you-a-sandwich thing going on, and let me tell you, I attract better quality men than I did when I was wild and free.

Yes, but aren't you in your mid 30s? I think that things are different with men in the mid-twenties dating pool...