Paranoid because I used to be a stripper/ what if he saw me?

[Jenna T]

Hi I'm Jenna.

I'm new but an irrational fear has been bothering me all night. I don't have anyone I can talk to. Well basically, I'm paranoid that the guy I used to date in high school and now about to see again could possibly have seen me on stage. I don't really think so. I never worked in that big or crowded of establishments and we had to pay attention to any guys who came in. So, I think I would have noticed. Though there's always the possibility I missed his face in the crowd or something. He had changed his hair. And I don't know if he would have just left instead of staying if he saw me there. I don't know if he would have stayed and not said anything or avoided me.

I never noticed anyone from school there at all (except another dancer from middle school who didn't recognize me). I don't have any reason to believe he ever saw me other than the fact we live in the same city and I know he goes out with his buddies a lot (but I don't know if or how often they go to these types of clubs).

It was years ago that I did it. I don't really know how to find out unless I just ask him what clubs he's been to (and even then that doesn't mean he was there the short time I worked at any given club). If a relationship were to develop, I might talk about my past and the effect it had on me. But I would be humiliated if he knows from the start, especially if he actually saw me in that position. And I wouldn't want to see him again at all.

Should I just not see him? I would rather not if he has seen me like that. Am I just being paranoid?
Thanks for any replies. I know I'm new here, so thanks for reading.

Jenna

[Romance More]

Fear is a funny thing. Funny because fear is usually an irrational feeling that we build up in our own heads.

The facts are,

You are not a stripper now.
If he did see you there, then he goes to those places, so hes in the same boat as you.
We all do what we have to do to get by in this world. What you did did not hurt anyone or cheat anyone.
He is interrested in you whether or not he saw you.

Your own shame in this is your own. And it is something you will have to deal with and overcome for your own self worth. As far as everyone else is concerned, who cares.

I have been skinny dipping and naked in front of people during my life time. If someone has an issue with that, then that is their issue, and I take no ownership of their problems. I am sure I may have even danced semi or even possibly fully naked at a bar at one point or another, and it was probobly just a regular bar. LOL. However I really have no idea.

We all make choices in our life as we mature and grow old. Some we regret, some we dont. But we make them as we know how to at the time. I would suggest that if it comes up, you tell him something like, "I was just getting some practice in so I can really wow the right person. Like You." Then it is really his issue if he has one with it.

Breathe, relax, and dance your naked boodie off for special people as they come through your life, and relish the fact that you were able to do something that gives you the confidence in your own body to be able to do that for someone special. Keep off the public stage, but move on.

Cheers.