Has Body Dysmorphic Disorder Made Me Asexual Or Just Unconfident?

[Keaton]

Hello Everyone

I am a 23 year old male and have had the odd relationship but have never had sex.

I really lack in confidence and to make matters worse, I have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)

It's really holding me back in terms of progressing with girls and actually asking them out. The problem is, I dont know weather I am asexual, or just plainly lack the confidence to take relationships one step further. Most of mine have ended becuase of just minor things like work commitments and other smaller things.

I really like this girl, but I just dont feel I need sex and feel that the smaller things matter most such as having a laugh, going out and just someone being there to kiss and cuddle. Still, I just cant work out weather the BDD or my confidence is the thing that is actually holding me back - all i know at the moment, is that sex is something that isn't critical to me. Is this because I haven't done it before maybe?

Being in my position, it makes it hard for me to get into relationships as I cant just leave them the moment sex becomes a necessity but I just don't want to be alone.

Thanks for reading

[vashti]

I believe this disorder has a high rate of comorbidity with other psychiatric disorders, probably anxiety and OCD. Any combination of these disorders can have a big impact on your social life and sex drive. Are you seeing a professional? If not, you should start there, IMO.

Good luck.

[Gigabitch]

Asexuality is pretty rare, Keaton. I think if you found yourself in the right situation with the right person, you might surprise yourself.

I agree with Vash that you need professional help immediately.

[JustPassing]

It sounds like your discomfort in sexual situations / lack of interest in sex may stem from your body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).

Only you know how you feel about your own sexuality, but counselling might help you to better understand and deal with your feelings. So I agree with Gigabitch and Vashti that counselling might be a good place to start.

In the mean time if you want to learn more about asexuality and talk to more like minded people, I recommend visiting the AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) website (if you haven't already of course!).

There are many types, degrees and causes of asexuality and I strongly believe sexuality is a spectrum, so even if you aren't inherently asexual, AVEN is a great place to learn more about the sexuality spectrum!

However, as you already have a disorder which may affect your confidence in relationships, esp. sexual situations..... I think you should also consider counselling..... as it may help build up your confidence and thus give you the confidence to take your relationship to the next level.

Hope this helps!