In love with another woman,help!

[SubmissiveGuy]

I'll start with the sort of guy i am.I'm 20 never been in a relationship with a girl(until now) i'm very shy and passive and have feminine qualities but i hide it by being big,muscular,tattooed and generaly look like a hard arse.I work as a bouncer so i've had to naturaly adapt to being bullying and thugish towards hostile people even though it goes against my nature and make me feel sad and guilty.but ive mannaged to fool most people with my mask and am very proficient at my job.

It all started when this new bouncer started working at the nightclub i work at (i'm also a bouncer).I had a full crush on her instantly for some reason.She seemed diffrent to most of women i had met or worked with at the nightclub,she was more confident and very playfull yet hard as nails at the same time.So naturally we got on very well me being shy,innocent and passive she being smart,tough,outgoing and in control.She is also tall and in her late 20's.As the weeks rolled on she started acting more flirty towards me like chatting,joking and touching me in a playfull manner.But then the company who contracted me thier pulled me out of thier because they had a problem with the manager(i am a contracted guard while she works for the nightclub directly).So i was feeling a bit down that i wasn't going to see her anymore me living far away and it not looking like i was working at the nightclub anymore.

2 weeks latter at my other job working as a guard at the front of a bank(YAY! ) theres this girl who drives past and waves at me so i wave back to be polite this had gone on for 3 monthes and i thought little of it.But this day was different as i was approuched by her sister and she wanted having my number on behalf of the girl who drives past so under pressure i gave her my number(partly because i felt lonely and i didn't have a excuse to stay single)

Anyway this new girl(my girlfriend) calls me she seems nice and all.we go to the movies a few times.She chats with me when i'm 'guarding' the bank.But all in all shes very shy and only 17!(which i found out latter) So we find it hard to realy connect me being shy aswell.So it feels a bit strange at times but i do like her.So we've been together for 4 weeks now.But i feel ultimately she was attracted to my image before she realised i had a shy and submissive attitude.

They now want me back at the nightclub.And the bouncer that i like there seems more 'nice' to me than before,she greets me with a kiss on the cheek(which she doesn't do to the other bouncers) and even asked me to stay after my shift and have a few drinks.We seem to connect and talk so easily compared to me and my new girlfriend.

What should i do?I like my girlfriend alot and don't want to hurt her but at the same time i've fallen maddly in love with this woman i work with and i'm not sure if shes got feelings for me or shes just teasing me.

I don't want to hurt anyone but i feel so wrong.

Sorry if it bored you but i don't know who else to ask.

[vashti]

You say your girlfriend is only 17, and I am assuming you are over 21. If this is the case, she is too young for you, regardless of what goes on with the bouncer-woman. If I were you, I'd tell her you conscience has gotten the better of you, and you've decided to stop dating underage girls.

[Gigabitch]

Well, Bouncergirl is also just attracted to your image, just like the girlfriend.

I agree with Vash that 17 is too young to be dating someone old enough to work at a bar, and I think getting involved with someone you work with is stupid, so why don't you leave them both behind and find someone who might like the real you?

In fact, why don't you just hold off on dating until YOU actually like the real you enough to stop playacting all the time?

[SubmissiveGuy]

Thanks for the advice guys,i realy needed it.

What you guys said is true i'm dumping my GF because she just seems to young for me (and is at 17!) but aside from that i feel it hard to conect with a teenager because i dropped out of school early and joined the workforce so i had to grow up very fast so i missed out on lots of my 'teenage years'.I'm 20 btw.

Gigabitch,You might be wright that that girl from work may only be attracted to my superficial image.but would you say that its generaly a bad idea to date co-workers?

I just find it realy hard to break out of the social constucts enforced on me(and men in general) by family/peers/society.I feel i must make others around me happy and conform to thier social expectations even though these values seem to directly contridict my own morals which makes me feel empty,trapped and alone.

Perhaps i just need a change of scenary to somewhere more tolerant where i can express myself without fear of persicution and judgement then maybe people will accept me for who i am and not what they want me to be.

Thanks again i was just feeling realy down about it.

[Gigabitch]

I'm always a fan of the change of scenery. It's a great, big world. Somewhere in it is a place where you can be yourself.

And yes, dating someone you work with is a potential disaster.