I just wish I could write this letter and give it to my ex (a classmate of mine), but doing so would be out of question. Circumstances would never allow it, and nor would it be a practical option. Thus I am sharing it with all of you here, and hoping to find some comfort. These words are from the deepest corners of my heart. If only I would get one chance to say them to him! But we are not even on talking terms. He avoids me completely
I love you.
I love you more than words can describe. Just who is that unlucky girl who had broken your heart so badly that it shook your faith in the whole concept of love? Shook your faith so badly that you have hardened your heart, put a hard shell around yourself and are refusing to acknowledge the presence of a girl who loves you to death?? Don’t you see, I want to give you a lifetime of happiness and joy? I want to give you all the warmth, love and belonging that you have ever craved! How hurt I was each time you told me to forget you and move on! How hurt I was, whenever you told me that I deserve someone better than you. How could you devalue yourself like this? How could you be so hard hearted??? How can I prove how much I love you?
I know…….. I know that once upon a time, long before you had met me, you were also a tender-hearted boy and a true lover. You loved a girl with all your heart. You had vested all your hopes on her. You were willing to do anything for her. You were willing to go to the ends of the world for her. And then she broke your heart. She threw your love back onto your face. She cheated you. She broke your trust badly. Thereafter you became inhumane. You temporarily took to drinking, in order to drown your misery. Soon your tears dried. You vowed never to make the mistake of falling for anyone again. You became a frivolous and 'fast' sort of guy. Your every action is ruthless and self-seeking. You have become a ladies' man. You treat females as objects of pleasure. You find sickly pleasure in seeing a girl cry. A girl’s feelings mean absolutely nothing to you. You see it all as a joke. Thus you played with my feelings and broke my heart, and parted with the most insulting words, while I begged you to reconsider your decision of breaking up with me. Words which haunt me to this very day!
But I can never forget you. I can never forsake you. I can never start pretending that you don’t exist. Your suffering is my suffering. Your pain is my pain. Even though you have insulted me and said the nastiest words which I don't deserve at all, I hold nothing against you. I have absorbed all the insults, because I love you so much! I have forgiven you for all the pain you have caused me. Why don't you open up to me? Why don't you tell me the whole story of your past? I can put all my own life's heartbreaks, disappointments and miseries aside, in order to listen to yours and provide you with comfort. Why do you see me as your enemy? Why do you see me as a competitor, when all I want is to be your friend, ally and anything else you desire in a girl? Why do you take pleasure in seeing me suffer? Why do you contribute to my humiliation in class, especially when I have done nothing to you? Never had I ever imagined that it would come to this!
Just who is that girl??