A girl who knows how to mess with a guy's mind and heart.

[Davis]

This girl has really...really...messed with my head and heart.

Alright first off, this is not my main way of meeting girls and I did not have any hope that I would actually find someone on a dating site.

Short version,

Girl messaged me. Thought she was kinda cute so I replied. We must have messaged each other at least once a day for a month. Just talking about soccer games, music, whatever. I gave her my phone number and email saying she can call me whenever. One day, she messages me (kind of the same time that I was trying to meet her or try to get her phone number) that her parents are getting divorced and she has sisters blablabla. She said, in a nice way, that she wasn't "ready" to meet anyone new whether as a friend or date. While she said this, she writes things like "you're so amazing" or "hugs"...things like that. If it weren't for those hints I would have dropped the whole thing and never write back unless she did.

So, after a few weeks, I caved in and messaged her this long letter and this thing was crazy okay...I didn't know I could write something like this...it was good but sappy ya know....anyway, she responds with a message that told me how cute she thought I was but also that she wouldn't talk or meet me or anyone because of her "situation" and hopefully in January we'll catch up again and meet and so on. The reason I believe she said January is because she is supposedly enrolling into the same college as myself for the spring. School starts in a week from now.

Well, as I said before, this girl absolutely tortured my heart. I don't know why...I don't know how....and I don't know why it hasn't faded.

I felt so connected to this girl for her personality, that of course, I couldn't wait to try and meet her when college starts. Naturally, I looked her up on facebook. Yep...and I found her. Her profile is completely private and all that... I resisted sending her a message...until January 4th. (Now, keep in mind, I haven't talked to her since October) I caved in and wrote another one of those lovey dovey-ish letters. It was because of this damn romantic movie I had just watched and friggin Itunes playing some songs out of my "Romantic" playlist.

I haven't heard anything from her since. So, did I go overboard? Did I write too much too fast? I guess if you girls need to see that final letter I gave her on Jan. 4th I'll private message you it. It's um....I don't know...I worry that I came off as a "weirdo" now and ruined any chance by not only writing her this letter but also looking her up on facebook and messaging her.

[jenniferx]

I generally think overanalyzing a situation is always a bad sign. STOP IT. just let it happen. you put in your two cents, so wait for her to respond, and dont think about it-that wont solve anything. In the meantime start talking to other girls and expand your horizons.

[Davis]

Yeah I know...over-analyzing. Its just that I date other girls, completely forget about this one, then when that dating fling is over, my mind says "man, remember that mystery girl...wonder what would have happened". I need to get over it obviously...I'm trying.

I guess I wrote what I said above because I was wondering if what I did would have raised red flags/pulled fire alarms in this girl's head. But, like you said, nothing I can do...just sucks it was left in limbo

[<3<3<3]

I think that it's just your curiosity, that you couldn't meet her. Maybe when you meet her she even won't be the girl you think she was. I guess you are just more relying on your imagination - creating your soul mate and see it in her, because she was so mysterious. Just live your ordinary life, if she replies maybe it will work out in future. If she won't you'll just have this image of perfect woman, you may be with, therefor there are no perfect things in the world.

[Davis]

I think that it's just your curiosity, that you couldn't meet her. Maybe when you meet her she even won't be the girl you think she was. I guess you are just more relying on your imagination - creating your soul mate and see it in her, because she was so mysterious. Just live your ordinary life, if she replies maybe it will work out in future. If she won't you'll just have this image of perfect woman, you may be with, therefor there are no perfect things in the world.

Exactly.

Just don't know when that curiosity will go away.

[<3<3<3]

I don't have the answer to that question too... ))
maybe if you meet her and find out that she isn't that perfect, or maybe when you meet love of your live, or just one day when you wake up...
My advice will be not to loose control over your illusions - the girl, the was you think she is just exists in your head and there are no guaranties that she is really that "perfect girl".
Now I'll tell you my story There was a guy I really always liked I thought that if he was my boyfriend I would really be happy. Then we really started dating, I found out that he definitely wasn't the person I really wanted to be with. and now I'm in a relationship with a guy that I thought really wasn't my type, but I'm feeling very happy.
So stop dreaming and find someone real )))

[xxazurexx]

Tip for you.

People can only mess with your head and your heart, if you allow them too

[Davis]

Tip for you.

People can only mess with your head and your heart, if you allow them too

I don't know...I wouldn't say it's a conscious choice to allow them to. It just happens sometimes. Sure, I could guard myself from it by controlling my feelings and keeping them back beforehand...but the feelings are the best part when in the moment.

Whatever, time will pass...hopefully something will happen but it's out of my control. You guys didn't seem to feel it would be a red flag for what I did...so I'm cool with it all

[xxazurexx]

Reading the initial posting, I'm unsure what makes you think she is messing with your mind and heart and because I see no signs that she has deliberately messed with you.

What I see is a guy who has developed a major crush on some female that randomly messaged him on a dating site - and with no help from her. She was being 'friendly'.

I'm unsure and whether it was a good idea and to send 'lovey dovey' notes and because it sounds like you don't really know her that well enough and to send that type of thing, plus your communication has been off and on with her. It would come across as kinda creepy to me and if a guy did that, who I'd only spoken to a handful of times, if I have to be honest.

[fuerza]

I hardly doubt she's trying to mess with you, her family's splitting up and she's starting college, a relationship just might not be in the cards for her right now and she's saving the both of you a lot of heartache by recognizing that early on.

That doesn't mean she doesn't like you or isn't attracted to you, but if she was interested in something more, she'd say so. Online people can be anything - when you talk to them or see them you're interacting with an "edited" version, so to speak. Even typing things out - you have a chance to press the backspace button before you send it, and on the flipside people tend to be much much more open to the point of bluntness. don't be let down if she seems different in person, but respect that she might be at a stage in her life where a relationship is more hurtful than helpful.

[MerryH]

You guys didn't seem to feel it would be a red flag for what I did

I do. You went overboard. It's strange to send long sappy letters to someone you've never even met before. And then to do it again after not speaking for months. She said maybe you could catch up in January, and you messaged her only four days into the month. I would be scared off by behavior like that.

You can PM the letter to me if you want to, but I can tell you right now that whatever it says, it says too much.