Want to fix my mistakes.

[Mindy87]

Long story short. I was put on medication awhile back that messed with my head big time. I met & married my husband before ending my previous relationship. In which time I still saw both of them. When they found out I went back to the previous bc I am pregnant and think he is the father. I finally got off the medication and it's taken me a while to get back to normal. I now realize that it is my husband, not the previous boyfriend that I love.


He is being very difficult towards me which I understand. Is there any hope of fixing things with my husband?

PS - please no one give the "focus on yourself" or "focus on your baby" comments. I am focused but I want to save my marriage.

[Yggdrasil]

You can't fix what's been done. There is no way to turn back time.

All you can do, is ask the person you love to understand what was going on and hope they will understand and accept that and he is willing to give it his best shot.

If he is not able to handle that, then in the long run, you're both better of going your own ways.

And of course he's being difficult. His trust in you is gone. If he's willing, that trust can be restored, but it will take time and a lot of hard work.

I hope that makes sense.

[Mindy87]

It makes sense. I'm just not sure how to start the repair. I've always been the one on the other side.

[Yggdrasil]

Well... maybe you could consider professional help.

There are such things like counselors, who mediate and offer advice.

This is not an easy situation, and many people don't know how to properly communicate with eachother.

Usualy communication fails on the listening part.

It's important to properly communicate with your partner. Counselors can help you develop those communication skills.

I am not saying you should go counseling, I am saying, I think, in your case, it may be a good idea, even if it's only to make sure you're both on the same page and a healthy communication process is being started.

Again I hope this makes sense.

[chemmy]

There is no mistake that cannot be corrected. We all 're human. I think the best advice is to talk and explain to the one you love. It might look difficult initially but with perseverance you will triumph

[Raze]

Can't fix stupid.

[carl1222]

Unless your medication made you absolutely psychotic, it's hard to believe that you were unaware of just how horrific your behavior was.

You say that now your medication-free clarity has led you to realize that your husband is the one you really want to be with. But this is not about which guy is the better choice. You don't explain why your husband should believe that you have a strong enough (or any, really) sense of commitment to a relationship to take another chance on you.

So his question to you will probably be "how could you marry me while you were still in a secret relationship with your boyfriend?" There is no good answer except "I know I was very wrong, and I want a chance to prove that I have changed." The medication excuse isn't enough. The medication may have put you in a frame of mind where you didn't know what you wanted, but it didn't make you cheat and sneak around ... you did that yourself.

Carl.

[misombra]

i'd believe her if she said the meds made her steal shit.

[bluesummer]

I'm sorry, this may not be fixable. Most men won't won't to raise the offspring of another man who was banging his wife on the side. Everytime they see that child, it will just remind them of the betrayal.

I understand what YOU want, but you made a mistake and need to take responsibility for your actions.....it's not about what you want anymore. If you care about your husband, take his feelings into account and realize that you have done something very harmful and hurtful. If he doesn't want to fix the relationship, I think you need to let it go.

I'm sorry, I have a real hard time believing medication would make you cheat. If it's that powerful, it's probably done some serious harm to your baby, too.