Why do I Lose Interest?

[paintanker]

Hi. I am a 20 year old guy living in the midwest of the US. I know this is a long post, and greatly appreciate those of you who take the time to read it and help me out. I have noticed that I have a particular habit which is very hurtful to women with whom I enter relationships, and also to myself, and I was hoping someone might have insight into why it is I developed this habit, if it is normal, and what I can do to fix it.

M, whom I started dating in 2008, I dated happily for a year. That was the longest relationship I had ever had, and I grew attached. About a year into it, neither of us was really happy, and we became on and off for about 6 months. We'd get in a big fight, break up, then miss eachother and get back together... over and over. Finally, we cut eachother out of our lives and managed to stay apart.

Then I dated S for about 3 months. I trusted her completely - she was the most sweet and innocent thing I had ever seen - at least, that's what I thought until I found out she had gotten drunk and cheated on me a month into our relationship with some guy she had met in a club. After that, I became on and off with her too.


Since them, the past few girls I've seen were very appealing to me when I first met them, perhaps it was the mystery. I remember being exceedingly excited for our first dates. I would get all dressed up, take them out to fancy restaurants, and continue the nights really romantically. After we kissed, however, they became less appealing. As time went on and we had more dates and more interactions, I became less and less interested. Eventually I would just stop hanging out with them as much, and they would get the picture.

Both of the cases of 'on and off' are the same, I feel, as when I meet new girls. I have interest, then when it works, I lose it.

Why might this be? Is this normal or abnormal? What can I do to fix it?

Thanks

[Cinnabella]

You met the wrong girl- that cheater, oh really innocent lmao. And your longest relationship wasn't really wrong but just fighting a lot! If you are the kind that gets bore easily, you are not good for serious relationship, wheh you meet the right girl you won't have these unsure feelings like when you dated the girls later on. I feel like I'm getting old coz I'm 26 and I feel like I only get bore easily if I date wrong guys lol, which I would never do. So, just ask yourself what you really want, you should stop with the cheater forever for good.

[drfyco]

Try do something new in relationship.. or try or do something new with your partner. Maybe it can help you always feel 'on' in relationship. Cheer up every day to make sure you not feel bored with your partner. If you have beautiful imagine try to get her and share with her. Girl love to dream. So dreaming together. Then you can always feel interesting with her...

[bulrush]

I'm going to ask you 2 questions, please consider them as separate questions.

- What type of girl would you LIKE to date?
Where is she on the intellectual scale?
Where is she on the good looks scale? How about emotional scale?
Is she real emotional or not so much? Is she reliable or flaky?
How much does she like material things? (You buying her movies, event tickets, dinners, gifts, etc).

- What type of girl do you end up dating?
Where is she on the intellectual scale?
Where is she on the good looks scale?
How about emotional scale? Is she real emotional or not so much?
Is she reliable or flaky?
How much does she like material things? (You buying her movies, event tickets, dinners, gifts, etc).

[bulrush]

I'm going to ask you 2 questions, please consider them as separate questions.

- What type of girl would you LIKE to date?
Where is she on the intellectual scale?
Where is she on the good looks scale? How about emotional scale?
Is she real emotional or not so much? Is she reliable or flaky?
How much does she like material things? (You buying her movies, event tickets, dinners, gifts, etc).

- What type of girl do you end up dating?
Where is she on the intellectual scale?
Where is she on the good looks scale?
How about emotional scale? Is she real emotional or not so much?
Is she reliable or flaky?
How much does she like material things? (You buying her movies, event tickets, dinners, gifts, etc).