Help me out.

[tim2963]

So I met this girl through a friend with plans of just the 4 of us hanging out. Once we met we hit it off very well. Neither of us were looking for a relationship but were both open to it, however she has told me about past relationships of hers and that she feels emotionally she just isn't ready to commit yet. I have no problem with that, we still date and talk for several hours a night on the phone after work and school. She has brought up several things along the lines of having her "guard up", she says that when we hang out everything is fine, but when she has time to herself, she begins to overthink things.

She has told me that she was worried about what her parents would think of me, so I came and picked her up one night and introduced myself to them, and the next night all of us went out to dinner. I felt it went fine and her parents and i got along just fine.

So now I have other obstacles to tackle.

I feel I'm being punished for mistakes her past boyfriends have made.
I've talked to her about and she has said that this isn't the case. That she is afraid she will not be emotionally ready for a relationship right now, she feels that if an arguement or problem comes up she will be hesitant to try and fix the problem and rather she would just walk away from it. She is worried about school, she says relationships consume her and she will need time to study for her major.

I see where she is coming from, but it seems unfair that she feels I'd hold her back from anything career or school wise.

Those are just two examples.

We are going out tonight and I wanted to get some advice from either side. What should I do about this, just have more patience, or do you feel she wants me to try harder?

If this is confusing let me know and I'll edit.

[vashti]

Just be more patient and less demanding. She is right - if she is a serious student, she WILL need to study, and relationships usually are distracting. Maybe you should just continue to date each other casually, and skip the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" bit for now. She apparently feels it is too much trouble.

[tim2963]

alright thanks for the quick response.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with Vashti, but I also think this might be some kind of test. Testing you to see if you're going to freak out and act like a nutcase and testing herself to see if she can really handle this. Just be patient. She's got some early-relationship jitters. If you're calm and confident, it will go a long way toward where you want to be.

[NeoSeminole]

be more patient and start talking to other girls. Don't focus your interests on a girl who isn't ready to be in a relationship.

[tim2963]

Thanks peeps. I thought it could be a test too. So check this out today. She told me that I'm not trying hard enough to get to know her.

What are some good questions I could ask her. I want to try and avoid quick answer questions because she likes questions that involve a story.

[Man4U]

;-) questions that involves a story? can you give us a quick sample for that? haven't heard of it.