Need desperate advice..what should i do? Am i missed?

[Ljay35]

Well to start this off, lets say i've had a very very rough year since last September, i lost my mother to lung cancer who I was really close with and fell into a deep depression because of this. Several months later passed by and November came along and I met this amazing woman, she turned my life around completely!. We had both come out from similar relationships years before and both had the same, values, morals and so on.

Everything went great and we eventually became a couple by January 2011, we were very much in love with eachother. February came and i had gotten some abnormal results from my doctors office. I was diagnosed with lung cancer, like anyone who has this upon their life I became depressed again. After that it became tough within the relationship as alot of the time I did want to be alone and she was really amazing to me, she stayed by myside and tried to be there for me as much as possible. She never gave up on me and told me she'd be there always. We did get into a few arguements here and there though because she did want to be there alot more than I would let her be for me at times, because in a way I feared that I wouldnt get better and that it wouldnt be good. Around May-June I told her maybe we should take a break because I didn't want my depression to down our relationship and I did not want to hurt her by not letting her always be around me for support. She disagree'd and got really angry at me for suggesting this, she always said "couples should stay strong and go through the hard times together" well I listened to her and we stayed together.

The first Sunday of September 2011, she told me she couldnt do it anymore, she still believed i was her soul mate and we were amazing together. She wanted to be with me again but she needed me to get back to the guy I was where I let people help and support me through this difficult time. She didn't want to torture herself by holding on. It has been really difficult for me to get by this especially because the day after I lost someone very close to me, and have been trying to cope with everything all alone now. She was my bestfriend and we both agree'd that we both wanted a relationship and wanted to be together, we were both faithfull people who loved eachother and generally had no problems in the relationship except that one. I still love her and spoke to her about a day ago about what this all meant, I asked her fi she was moving on and she said that it didnt matter and she didn't think she should tell me if she was or not. (in other words, yes she is) because she told me "Im not dating anyone, or in a relationship but I am open to whatever happens". She did say to me that she does still want to get back with me and does want to continue from where we left off, also that I am the only man for her and that no other man could even compare, as well as that I am her soul mate and that she will always be there for me and my family but wouldnt untill I helped myself out and bettered myself, she said she needed some time to fix herself also and this was the time she was doing that.

Im having a hard time accepting the fact that shes moving forward, especially after a weeks time of breaking up with me when I told her that she said "am i an evil person for wanting someone there?". I dont want her to hold back from being happy but It makes me feel like I didnt mean that much to her since she is moving forward so easily. I don't know what goes through girls minds when they break up with guys, I don't know if she is in a rebound relationship. But i've been having a really hard time coping with this all and having my health on top of it all, I have taken steps to bettering myself and I am still continuing treatment and going to therapy for my depression.

I don't know if this is another case of, "you don't know what you got untill its gone" or if our relationship just needs some time apart so we can find ourselves before we give ourselves.

What I need major help with, is how do I accept her moving forward and how should I go about it? Do i avoid contact from her at all? Will we ever get back together once I have gotten help for myself and have fully recovered?

[smackie9]

I lost my father to lung cancer so I am no stranger to watching someone you care about so dearly go through such a horrible illness. I know that cancer plays tricks on your mind. Emotionally you can get hot then cold. There's fear, anger, and a lot of loneliness, and moments of uncertainty....that's just part of the disease. For someone standing on the outside looking in, doesn't understand that, hence your GF giving up.....she took offense, she was personally let down. She just got too confused and it became too stressful for her.

I wish you could see all she is asking of you is to have more fight, more fight to live, more fight to want a future, more fight to want to be happy and to live! I suggest you find a support group of others that are facing the same struggles and pitfalls of living with cancer. The group will give you strength and give you tremendous hope.

She hasn't given up on you, she broke it off in hopes it will push you to get going on getting better and work on having a more positive outlook. A positive attitude has powerful healing abilities, along with prayer and or meditation. So go find out about a support group and take advantage of the experiences of others, get out and do new things, become a new person and she will return.