Simple Quick Question

[option]

Hey all,

I just want to know what you ladies think when it comes to my situation.

Basically I had this thing going with this girl. We were talking a whole lot almost everyday. It was to a point where we would tell each other what we were about to do and such throughout the whole day.

To make the long story short, at one point we made a plan to hang out. Apparently I wasn't clear to her hat I wanted to spend the evening with her so she made other plans. Being a guy (I suppose) I got upset and sorta snapped at her. After all these, she wouldn't talk to me and wouldn't answer my call. She'd return text messages but in a really blunt kinda way. She'd also say "I'll talk to you some other time" or "I don't feel like talking to you".

Eversince then, I decided to stop contacting and trying (after a period of time of trying to make contact).

What do you think is the best thing to do? Should I move on? Should I wait for her to contact me or should I make the first contact?

TIA ladies!

[Bumble_bee]

simple quick answer: you screwed up......



you don't snap at potential girlfriends..

[siss088]

Move on. Forget about her... she might come around when she sees that you're not trying anymore. And if you haven't tried already, apologise lol

[option]

I know I did screwed up. It was just annoying to me as I have arranged and made plans for that night. I made reservations at a restaurant and actually bought a bouquet of flowers that will all be wasted. It almost seemed like she did not care about it at all as I have told her the plan and she never asked about it throighout the whole week.

Also I did apologize and saw her at one point (last time I saw her). I looked at her in the eyes and said I'm sorry. She said "forget about it" and "it's fine". However, things were never the same again.

So it's better to just move on or should I make another effort to actually make contact (after giving some time) and apologize again.

I noticed she isn't too happy right now. Her profile would say something "sad" or something "encouraging" which isn't like usual.

I do like this girl A LOT and I know I messed up but I don't really want to go through all the drama right now.

BTW, thank you so much for the quick responses.

Do you think it's a good idea to make one more effort, perhaps send an arrangement of flowers with a note or letter saying "I'm sorry"?

[bloodtippedrose]

"Its fine.." means it is NOT FINE. shes short with you. shes pissed at how mad you were over a mistake. she wouldnt have made plans if she knew for sure you wanted to be with her that night.

who gives a shit if you bought her flowers/ made plans. you should have clued her in a little more. instead of saying "lets hang out.." try something more like "I was hoping to spend some time with you, do something fun, how about 7 tonight?"

you snapped at her, expect her to forgive you then give up after half an attempt at apologizing? wtf? If you REALLY liked her you would not give up on trying to make up to her after you were the one that snapped at her.

You would be a complete ass if you didnt keep trying to apologize and youd be acting like a pms'ing woman if you just "gave up"

[option]

^ Thank you for that. I kinda needed that push.

Obviously I do care about this girl a lot. Hence why I'm here asking what to do. Occasionally she'd pop in my mind and I start thinking about her and start missing her. We'd talk practically almost everyday or at the least we'd text. Eversince the incident, we hadn't talked at all for almost weeks now.

However, I did not want to be "pushy" and was scared of being that way. This was why I stopped trying to contact her. When I snapped at her, I tried making contact for almost the whole week with her being really cold and at times ignoring my calls. I kinda figured she did not want to talk and that was why I decided to stop. I did though, saw her that one time and apologized to her in person and she said "it was fine" and "forget about it" eventhough she still was ignoring me.

Do you think after giving her some time, I should make another contact and talk to her about this?
I kind of thought she'd contact me first if she wanted to talk again but do you think I should just make the first move and get back in contact with her?

Thank you so much for all of your opinions, thoughts, and suggestions. Also for reading my long post this time.

I really appreciate all of your help ladies. Unfortunately I, like any other men, don't really know what's inside a woman's mind.

[bloodtippedrose]

if you kept trying to contact her again and again and she sees missed calls and youve apologized in person..
shes just being a bitch!
Im curious when she said forget about it was it like "it's okay..." kindve forget about it or the "hmm.. whatever!" kind?
Either case if shes still ignoring you, heres what Id do
email her saying that you felt like an ass for snapping at her, you realized it was a mistake really quickly afterward, you felt hurt and worthless was the reason you did it, Im sure it made you feel like crap or however you think she felt, that this is going to be the last time Im apologizing and I hope you accept it because I really like spending time with you blah blah.
make sure you dont get snappy or say "you" like you did this or you made me feel like.. because thats like blaming and it will make her defensive. just say how you feel.
Maybe try calling once more after you think shes had time to read it. If she still ignores you, I say fu(k it, shes too stubborn and not worth the effort. She should have considered your feelings too for why you snapped at her, its not completely about her.

[option]

^ I wanna thank you so much for your opinion and suggestion. I really appreciate it.

I guess I forgot to put it but after I snapped at her, I was really frustrated. However, I did not apologize right away but instead I guess I played stupid and asked her "What's wrong" eventhough she was giving me the cold talks. I did however, realized she was really mad at me and apologized at some point and also in person like I mentioned.

When she said "it's okay" and "forget about it" I thought it was the "whatever, I want you to think I don't care kind". I told her to send me a text when she was done with whatever she was doing at the time since I thought "we made up" but I never received it. I then decided to text and ask what she was doing with no response back from here. Eversince then I have not made any contacts at all and vise versa. When I decided to stop contacting her, I had a mind set that if she wanted to talk to me, she would've made the contact. Is this a wrong mind set to have when it comes to girls?

I've realized from her profile that she hasn't been as jolly as she used to be. I don't know if this is the reason why.

I mean we used to talk to each other almost everyday with text at the very least and we would often update each other on how the day went. This had been completely gone for the past weeks.

I guess I will make another contact. Do you think it's a good idea to ask her for some time (even dinner) and then try explaining to her why I was mad and apologize?

Do you think she'd be 'this mad' when it comes to 'just' friends?

[IndiReloaded]

Ha, welcome to the double standard. If a woman snaps at you, you're supposed to suck it up. But its unforgivable if you demonstrate any lapse of self-control. I used to think like this woman until I grew up a bit.

Anyway, seems you're SOL on this one. She's lost interest. Try to communicate more clearly next time. Less hint, more action.

[option]

^ Whoever ends up with you must be a lucky man.

Anyway do you really think I'm outta luck on this one? Should I even make the effort of making one last contact after giving her time and try to make things right.

Like I said, one thing I noticed is the fact that she seems pretty upset after all these. I mean it could just be an outside face but I can see from her profile that she's a bit sad and 'emo' which isn't like usual or how she used to be.

[IndiReloaded]

^ Whoever ends up with you must be a lucky man.

Anyway do you really think I'm outta luck on this one? Should I even make the effort of making one last contact after giving her time and try to make things right.

Like I said, one thing I noticed is the fact that she seems pretty upset after all these. I mean it could just be an outside face but I can see from her profile that she's a bit sad and 'emo' which isn't like usual or how she used to be.

Thanks for the compliment but actually it was a very special man who taught me this important life lesson. Some girls, like guys, are fully trainable, action figures.

I just think you are SOL b/c she's young and not likely to forgive. But no harm in trying to make things right. Just be ready to cut your losses if its a no-go.

[option]

HAHA! That has to be a quote of the year. I just need to learn how to train them.

It is true that at times she could be immature. I guess if it's not meant to be then it isn't.
I've been friends with her for a while and to be honest, our relationship had always been on and off. There were times that I was busy and also the other way around in which we kinda stopped contacting each other.

However, this time was different. We went for about 2-3 months talking practically everyday and texting. We'd usually talk more on weekends.

I mean usually when we were friends, she lets go of things easily. I guess this time is different?

Do girls really have higher standards when it comes to guys that aren't in the 'friend zone'?

[IndiReloaded]

Do girls really have higher standards when it comes to guys that aren't in the 'friend zone'?

Same standards, but women in relationships feel more ownership so are more likely to give you 'what for' if they aren't happy with something.

I mean, a guy friend can tell you to piss off & MYOB and what are you gonna do? Withhold sex?

[option]

Oh man, it's nice to get second opinion from female perspective. You women are really something (not a bad thing tho). I'm literally amused by how women think right now.

How much time do you think I should give before I say something to her?
Do you actually think she's "upset" because she misses me? Like I said, her profile had been pretty 'emo' lately.

I honestly think by playing stupid and asking "what's wrong" when clearly she wasn't happy had made the situation worse for me. Oh well, lesson learned and we'll see what happens.

I guess the only thing I can do is stay positive. Thank you so much for your quick responses and such. I really appreciate it!