Did I overreact?

[hfhtzhtzfhjzt]

We are together for a year and a half. We were togehter for a week in an apartment at sea at the beginning of summer, and now she's at sea with her family for a month and I'm at home (now she's at her house, before we just rented some apartment in a different town). The entire year I wanted to go with her there, and she always said we will go together. Then recently she started telling me that it's best I don't go, because a few years ago she was there with her ex, and after they broke up, she felt stupid because he met her whole family there (uncles, gradnparents...) and she doesn't wanna go through it again and she just isn't ready for me to meet them. Even though her parents wanted me to come, and everybody else wanted to meet me. And I was ok with it, kinda. But she also told me that her (girl) friends won't come, that she just wants to be there alone with her family. And i was ok with that, but I told her I would feel very sad and mad and stupid if she invited her friends and not me, and she said she won't. And now a few days ago she called me and told me she invited them and they were there, so I got really mad and eventually told her I break up with her. Now I know it sounds like an over reaction, but there are two reasons I acted that Way.

First, entire year, every now and than she felt her friends weren't fair to her, for example, the two of them often went to coffe or to town or to shopping and didn't invite my girlfriend, so she often complained to me how they aren't fair to her, they don't include her, that they are closer together then with my girlfriend and stuff like that. While I, on the other hand, was there entire time for her, when she wanted to go shopping, to town or anything, I always wanted to go with her. I even helped her and her sister with math for college. And after all that I did for her and all times her friends weren't fair to her, she still invites them to sea instead of me.

And the other thing, this isn't the first time something like that happened. Sometimes we made plans to go somewhere, and I really looked forward to that, and in the last moment she calls me and tells me she doesn't wanna go for some reason. It didn't happen a lot, maybe two or three times during the year, but still, I got the feeling I can't really trust her. And on top of that, there were some other stuff she lied to me, nothing big, but I just got the feeling that I can't really be sure in anything she says.

So, I don't know what to do and I don't actually know what she wants. She broke up a few times before with me, but it was for not so important reasons, and we always got back together after a day or two. And I always called her soon after a fight, and after we made up, she told me she didn't really wanna break up, and that even if I didn't call her, she wouldn't let me go and we would get back together eventually. Also, she often told me she loved me and wants to be with me for the rest of her life.
But this time, after I told her i break up with her, she told me if I did that, it's really over, forever. Since I was mad, I didn't care. So after about 15 minutes, I saw that she removed that we were in a relationship on facebook (which she never did during previous fights and break ups). Also, it's been three days now and she didn't call me or text me, and I don't wanna call her out of principle, because she should call me and apologize to me. So I'm not sure if she wanted to break up (I thought she doesn't wanna break up, according to everything she told me, how she loves me and that, but I'm not so sure now, it's weird she doesnt call and anything).

And also, I'm not sure what I want. Of course, there were good times, she can be really caring and good and overall, she's a good person, and I miss her for that and I don't wanna break up because of that. But I just can't imagine why did she do this. I told her I would be sad if she choses them over me, she knew that. And still, she thought "**** him, he'll be angry and sad but he'll get over it eventually" and invited them. She didn't even tell me she was gonna invite them, she told me after they were there. After I told her I break up with her, she told me it wasn't good enough reason and if I do that, that I never really loved her.

So if I forgive her, I basically give her the right to do whatever she wants, no matter how I feel about it. And also, I'll never be sure if she's telling me the truth or not. She's 20, maybe she'll change, but maybe she will be that way all her life, and I don't wanna be in a relationship where I can't be sure if she's lying or not. I know she wouldn't cheat on me or do something big and bad like that, but the little stuff could always be lies.


So, what do you think, should I break up or not? And what do you think, does she actually wanna break up, or did she change her relationship status and isn't calling me maybe just to make me nervous.
Ashoudl I call her or wait for her to call me? And how long should I wait?

[searock]

Her only mistake was lying to you about not inviting her friends: inviting them per se was nothing wrong, IMO. She clearly told you why she didn't want you to go there. By inviting her friends she wasn't "picking them over you": she had no reason *not* to invite them, while she did have a reason not to invite you.

She sounds immature, breaking up every now and then just because of petty arguments. Very dramatic and manipulative. Now you basically did what she's been doing to you, and she's decided not to do what you've always done (she isn't calling you).

Overall, I think you'll be better off without her. The reason she didn't want you to meet her family, while perfectly legitimate, indicates that she still isn't completely over her ex. And she's immature and manipulative (whether she does it consciously or not). And she lied about not inviting her friends (it was to avoid drama, but it was still lying). Stop waiting for her to call you, time to move on :-).

[hfhtzhtzfhjzt]

Overall, I think you'll be better off without her. The reason she didn't want you to meet her family, while perfectly legitimate, indicates that she still isn't completely over her ex.

I believe she is over her ex, it's been three years. But which confuses me is this: she always told me she loves me very much, she wants to marry me and stuff like that. And if thats true, why doesn't she want me to meet her family? What difference is if I meet the now or in a few years, since she wants to be with me all her life (or at least she says so). And I met her parents, so it's just grandparents and uncles.

Stop waiting for her to call you, time to move on :-).

Already? We've been together for a year and a half, shouldn't I give it a little more time?

I know when I look at things objectively that maybe its for the best, but it isn't easy and I can't be sure. As I said, most of the relationship was great, and what if she changes her bad sides? It's true she's immature, but she's just 20 (I'm 23), there's still time. What if I loose a great girl just because some stuff that maybe isn't that important and which may change? After all, if she wants to be with me and calls me in a few days, maybe she'll realise her mistakes (lying and not being trustworthy) and change it.

The reason she isn't calling me may be (I believe) that her friends are there, she's having fun now and doesn't need me. I believe it's possible she will call me when they're gone. Which would be pretty selfish of her...

Anyway, what should I tell her if she calls me?


And her birthday is soon, and I bought her a present I think she will really like and I was looking really forward to giving it to her and making her happy (before the fight). But even if we break up, Id' still like to give it to her to make her happy... What do you think, should I?

[searock]

Then wait until she gets back from her holiday... if she still doesn't call you, wait no longer...

[hfhtzhtzfhjzt]

And what do you think, why did she change her relationship statis on facebook and isn't calling me? Does she really wanna break up or is she just playing a game and waiting for me to call?

And one more thing I found weird is that yesterday she put a status, something like "having fun @ some place", which she ABSOLUTELY NEVER does. So why did she do it now? To provoke me and make me jelaous or the show me she is over me?

[searock]

I don't know, but if she is doing that just to make you jealous, do you honestly want to be with someone who plays those silly games?
And if she is doing it because she really doesn't want to get back together, you should start moving on.

Either case I think you should try to "forget" about her. If she wants you back, she'll call and you'll decide what to do at that time.