it seems a little too perfect

[sunnybunny8212]

okay... i kinda need advice from people on the same level as me..
vie been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year... and we were best ffriends for about a year as well. We have the best relationship, and he is nearly perfect in every way...
he lacks social skills a bit, so he doesn't like people sometimes, or comes off mean, and he never really wants to do stuff.. we always play the safe route you know? we are always together as well, except when we work..
but its kinda getting to me because were always around each other and im headed out to college so its like all weird. im going away for college and its about 45mins to an hr from where i stay. he's upset that im leaving and so i suggested we take a break when the time came.... Im going into nursing and im on a STRICT program there.

I feel i may need some space... and i wanna be a free spirit and roam where i please... with no constrictions. I love him deeply with all my heart and to make matters worse im his frist girlfriend, and we're pretty deep you know...? he even told me he never thought he'd imagine us EVER splitting apart in any way shape or form...

now he wants to transfer to the same school with me in the future, and i feel he's pushing it a bit. and he wants to get an apartment ASAP..a year ago i thought i wanted that..idk what I want anymore..and he also thinks that i may never want to be with him again, or ill find someone else... idk.. I wanna be with him, [and not to sound selfish] just not through college....... its college im 18! W T F! you know!? i have not a clue how to address myself with the issue...

am i being selfish....?
should i not consider a break?
HELP <3
ah what should i do :[

[girl68]

Break it off period. You can't make him nor expect him to wait. And during college you WILL meet other guys who you want to meet, greet and maybe more with.

He's smothering you and you're not liking it. If you stay he will continue this clingy, smothering behaviour and you will soon resent him for it and will lead to your breakup regardless.

This relationship will NOT work. Sorry. It's hardest to get over the first love but you're so damn young you have sooo much prime date life yet that you'll meet plenty of guys.

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, he sounds like a jealous control freak who wants to separate you from the rest of the world. Break up with him before he does the transfer paperwork.

[sunnybunny8212]

thanks you guys :]
i mean he has the best intentions.... he's great...
we're just like together all the time...
i just wanted to know if you think its selfish of me...?

thank you for replying <3

[VincenzoG91]

I don't think that you're being selfish, just realistic. He is being selfish when he wants to avoid people and he wants you to stay with him, avoiding people. How many nights alone together before the cabin fever sets in? You are both at an age when you are going through a lot of changes, and I don't think that he sounds capable of adapting to your changes. At all. He needs to grow up some more and stop treating women like personal possession.s

[sunnybunny8212]

thnks <3
i love your signature lol
experience is one thing my boyfriend lacks... thats also why im sscared for him....
its so true!!

[VincenzoG91]

Thanks. The classroom doesn't reward mistakes, but you can still learn a lot from mistakes.

If you're worried about how he will take this, emphasize that your priority for the next several years will be your education, and you don't think you can get through school with any serious distractions. That may even be the case... the competition to get into nursing schools has gotten tougher in recent years.

[cmacattack1]

thanks you guys :]
i mean he has the best intentions.... he's great...
we're just like together all the time...
i just wanted to know if you think its selfish of me...?

thank you for replying <3

We all have the best intentions for the most part. It doesn't mean that our actions WILL translate into good results. This is a learning experience for him as well, and he will be a stronger, better person for it. He will learn so much (i.e. not smothering a girl to death, and doing things outside of the house to do something different and make you feel special). You don't need to call it quits although it doesn't have a promising future ahead.

Try getting him out to do more and if you are continually met with staunch defiance to that, you should let him know that you don't feel that it's very healthy for your relationship. This can of course lead to a serious of long and drawn out talks which can get you somewhere if both people listen to each other. But at the same time, just because he ISN'T a social person or likes doing things out there, why not try to be a BETTER person in those areas to make him a more well rounded individual? In terms like that, you are less pointing the finger at him and more trying to challenge him. And if he backs away from that challenge, I think you know it's not worth it in his current state of mind.

[sunnybunny8212]

yeah your right...
i mean i try to get him to go out and do stuff, but then he seems to like back down...

i mean i wish he'd ask me if i wanted to go out or something...
the movies and apple bees gets old... i want more excitement... and its gotten to the point wwhere don't bother to ask or suggest..

yore both right.
whew <3

[girl68]

he is holding you back and you know it. break it off soon.