Really troubled by my partners behaviour towards me...

**Mangosmoothie23** · 11-06-14, 07:31 AM

Hey!

I have been with my partner for over 3 years now. We have one child together, and live apart due to a break up of the realtionship when we started living together (too much too soon)

My main reason for posting on here is that I don't know if my partner is being abusive mentally towards me. We argue like every couple does, but he comes across as very controlling. Everday he nit picks at everything I do and don't do. I was sticking some stickers on something the other day and he told me to leave it as I will get it wrong and that I always do get it wrong. I did it anyway and ofc I got it wrong so I just threw it down. He constantly puts me down, I'm learning to drive and I had a drive of his car and he said to me 'you're driving shit for the amount of lessons you have had it's like you're not learning anything' it then put me on a massive downer and I wanted to give my lessons up there and then.

But the main thing that upsets me is that he name calls me a lot if I don't agree with him or do things that he expects of me. Even though this is my house he has a go at me about cleaning it and asks me to make sure I do jobs in my own home( I clean every day, I don't actually stop!). And if I retalate back when he's moaning at me and putting me down thats when the name calling starts and he walks out of my front door. The name calling I find the hardest, it's what broke us up last time it's cruel at times. I suffered from post natal depression after our daughter and when we have argured or I fight back 'I'm tapped/crazy/physco' and he will tap on the side of his head and tell me I need to take medication and that I'm a horrible person. He also calls me stupid,retard,cunt and he really means it today he walked out of my house becuase my friend had been round and her little boy ate something here and left food on MY carpet I didn't have chance to tidy it because I had to go and collect my daughter so I just left it to do when I got home and because of that I got told I was retarded, dysfunctional and stupid and told I should of asked my friend to leave early because I needed to clean it up. Some times he has said has said he would hit me and I've beckoned him on because I wouldn't ever stand for that and he gets really aggressive telling me not to push him and that I'm stupid for doing so.

My main next worry is I have my own home now and he's just bought his own, he wants me to move in to that in a few months. I will loose all my finances aswell. That was another issue when we lived together he controlled money and wouldn't give me any because I'd spend it all as i'm frivolous with money ( which i'm not ) If I ask him for money he gets really angry if I was to take a note out of his wallet and mess around he gets extremely angry with me.

I know it's not the right thing to do moving in with him I will be unhappy and I will have no life. I will be expected to clean all day when we last lived together he said I should clean before I got out with my friends and that I should have everything done.

I guess I'm also using this to vent too, I hold it all in a lot of the time, but calling me crazy and tapping on the side of his head really upsets me and I feel bullied.