Confused, need some advice (kind of long)

[wjl022]

So, a year ago or so I got this girls number. We were at our high school reunion. We never really talked in HS, weren't part of the same crowd, but I always thought she seemed cool. So, long story short, I got her number ten years later and we started texting / emailing. I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't take it any further than simply being friendly.

Fast forward 8 months, I am now single and ready to start seeing new people. I had an extra ticket to a concert, so I asked her if she'd be interested in going. I didn't expect anything because she lives 2 hours away, but she came down for it and we had a great time. I learned during the course of the show that she is moving back home later in the year, which excited me. After the show she told me I should come up to hang with her sometime, so I did, five days later. We went out, had drinks, saw another show, and she invited me back to her place where we ended up hooking up into the early morning hours.

Okay, sounds great, right? Problem is this, during the course of the hooking up she tells me that she has a boyfriend. It didn't stop her from continuing, but we stopped short of any sexual activity. She tells me she has never done this before (cheated) and feels bad. After this, we started talking on the phone, texting, and emailing each other often. We continue to get together and do things, and sometimes we make out, but it hasn't progressed further than that. When we are together, we behave as if we are dating...meaning, we hold hands, kiss each other hello and goodbye, etc. I hadn't gotten much clarification on her status with this other guy, other than a few random stories, until recently when she referred to him as her "ex-boyfriend" during a story. I made note of this, but didn't question her about it.

It has been 3 months since she first came down to hang out. She is moving back home in 3 weeks. Things have seemingly been going in the right direction, until last week when she was in town for the night. She asked earlier in the day if I wanted to hang out later, which of course I did. Long story short, it ended up being a weird night. She was all anxious about something (moving home, mainly, she said) and nothing I did that night helped in this area, in retrospect. It was kind of awkward when she left, but she did text me when she got home. The odd thing is that we haven't talked since then, which is going on 5 days now. I texted her the other day and got no response, which is strange for her. I'm curious whats going on and want to call, but I don't want to annoy her or seem needy.

So, what gives? Should I lay low until she is back and then take it from there? Obviously she is stressed about the move and living with her parents again, but I want her to know that I am still interested and that she can count on me. It would also be great to have some clarification on how she feels about me and what she considers me at this point. I have strong feelings for her and would like to be in a relationship, but I have not come out and said this yet due to being unsure of her status and the fact that she is busy with moving and leaving her job and all that.

Thanks.

[FullofSighs]

Well since its been five days, a simple call won't make you needy needy/clingy. Try calling her up and saying something like "Hey haven't heard from you in awhile, you doing alright." Then progress from there. If she doesn't answer then either her "ex" and her got back together and he knows about you so she is trying to avoid contact with you and cheating on him once again, or she has lost interest in you, or maybe something happened to her. So a call won't be a bad thing necessarily.

[Uni]

The situation is actually a bit confusing indeed, but listen to me: you really care for her and are interested in her and everything and wanna know what's going on, which is obvious, but, at the same time, you don't want to seem annoying.
You can choose between:
- Sending now her a single text in which you say that it's been a while since you guys talked last, that you don't want to annoy her but got a bit worried and that, no matter what, you're there for her for anything she needs
- Waiting some other days before doing what I wrote before
- Waiting for her without doing anything.

See what's the best thing here for you, I would probably choose the second choice anyway.

[dave_s]

Hmm this is a pickle of a situation, but i would not pass judgement just yet, so many things could be going on, it could be as simple as losing/washing her cell, do you have a land line you can call? leave a message or talk to her, but just say you were thinking of her, and that you wanted to chat, if she answers your solid, if it goes to a message, then she may just be busy, i personally dont like txt messages because they dont show emotion, or tone of voice or anything stick to face to face, or phone conversations.

but i think you mostly have the right idea already, give her some space, but make sure she knows you are there for her, once she has moved back, ask her to go to dinner or something, maybe a picknick, that would be romantic, and tell her how you feel about her, that you want to see her more, and you like her, then you can play it by ear