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Thread: She's really confusing me, need a females perspective and wisdom.

  1. #1
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    She's really confusing me, need a females perspective and wisdom.

    So about 4 years ago, my first year of college, my roommate's girlfriend would come visit all the time. And she'd always bring her friend, we'll call her K.
    Anyway well my roommate and his GF were busy doing their thing we'd hang out a lot. And it began as an intimate relationship. We would cuddle, hold hands in public, kiss.
    Anyway over time that kind of died out we remained friends and have become good friends to this day.

    K recently broke up with her boyfriend, and after doing so, as I predicted, I filled in the emotional crutch role, where I was basically a boyfriend in every sense except for the whole sex part. I like her so I did what every friend zoned guy does and played the part. Not happy doing it.
    So we've spent ridiculous amounts of time together, I like her but I was even getting a little tired of the hang outs. She didn't seem afflicted.
    Anyway she'd talk about this J guy, and how she wasn't sure what was going on and she was so up and down on what she wanted with him that I even felt bad for the guy.

    So the other day she tells me she went down on him, and that he was huge, and she is "the luckiest girl ever.".
    Here in lyes the flaw. I've know her, and shes told me about sex with one guy that wasn't near as large as this guy supposedly is, and she'd complain about the pain. (I'm no captain morgan, but I'm fairly well endowed. And from what I hear smaller than him, and I made my ex bleed the odd time, and she was always in pain after (which I always felt so bad about that, thats what eventually made her my ex, even though she said it was a good pain.)) Anyway it seemed contradictory to me that she'd be excited about the size of his member when she had trouble with someone smaller.

    So later that night we we're at a friends having a few drinks, I was a little tipsy, first time drinking in a while, broke my arm snowboarding and the medication meant no drinking. So we're both a little intoxicated, but not beyond the point of clearly knowing what we're doing, and she says she wants to tell me something about J, so I'm like alright so we go into a room alone, and she grabs both my hands pulls her self in close wraps one of my hands around her lower back, so now quite literally my penis is against her vagina, to be blunt, it seriously would have looked to a third person like we just finished the most intense make out session ever. She stops and stares at me. I'm not sure what to think or do right now, and I was about to go in for a kiss, our faces were literally close enough to feel the other person breath, when my friend walked in, I kind of snapped out of it and moved away, and he was about to leave and she was like "no no stay". He had walked away however, so we were standing a bit apart now and I asked her "so what did you want to tell me?" and she responded "nevermind it wasn't important we can talk about it later.". And we left. She'd continually come to me and cuddle me, or hold my hands throughout the night. I'd do my best to stay clear, but its not easy when you need to be in the same room as your friends. One of my friends came up and asked if we we're dating, just to kind of show how apparent her "whatever it was" was.


    I'm just left wondering, is she waiting for me to make a move and trying to make me jealous before she jumps into something with this J character?
    Or am I taking too much out of the events?
    Last edited by excowho; 22-03-09 at 09:22 AM.

  2. #2
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    You're being vague. What do you want from her?

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    I'd like a relationship from her, to be honest, but before that night we hadn't been any type of physical in about 3 years, and she won't stop talking about this J guy so I was just letting her go after that without complicating it.

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    She doesn't sound like she wants a relationship; rather her primary goal is sex. It's strange for someone to say, "I'm the luckiest girl because this guy is well endowed." Usually if someone is saying they're lucky, it's due to the other person involved treating them well and being loving.

    Rethink who you want to become involved with. If you just want to bang her, then she's likely your gal.

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    I actually never even looked at the situation like that.
    And it sort of makes sense, because she was saying she didn't really want to get into anything with J because she had just recently become free from relationship bounds.

    However, that makes her the girl I don't want to be involved with. I'm not interested in becoming a notch on her bed post in between boyfriends.

    Thanks for the fresh perspective.

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    She sounds nuts frankly...

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    Wow, what a tart. Why would you ever want a relationship with someone like that?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    never heard of someone making a girl bleed during sex. unless she was already bleeding.
    The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things

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    Maybe she was a virgin. Either that, or her herpatic lesions broke open.

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    or he wants to paint himself as a Ron Jeremy.
    The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things

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    I don't know what part of I'm not Captain Morgan, led you believe that I was bragging, I was calling myself average el capitaino.
    And it wasn't during the sex, it was the next day or later the same day she'd complain about the bleeding, I personally never saw it.
    But anyway staying on topic would be nice.

    @Indi: She's interesting, she's got a kind of hold on me I can't explain it. She may seem nuts from this scenario, but I assure you she normally isn't like this, which is part of why I am confused right now.
    Last edited by excowho; 23-03-09 at 01:05 AM.

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    Well, watch out for drama then, is all I can say. This one sounds like she might be good for a quick romp but not much else. Have fun.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Update
    Haha I love how you guys pull that shit out. I've known her for 4 years and never saw this "odd/dramatic" side of her.

    I'll make this as short as possible.
    So after the above events I accepted that I just wasn't going to get a relationship to work between us, and best to avoid sex to not make the friendship awkward.
    So I call up my ex, who I had been thinking about and it didn't end badly, things just didn't work out more because of timing than anything. Me and my ex go out have a really good time, it made me remember the initial chemistry we had. So we've started talking again.
    I'm hanging out with K the next day and she tells me about the J guy again and how they had gone skating and fooled around a bit. She asked if anything was new so I told her about my date with my ex. She got visibly upset immediately after, didn't say much, conversation pretty much just died immediately, she wouldn't even look at me. 5 minutes had passed and she just all of a sudden got up and said she had plans with J, which I know is a lie because we had planned to go for coffee. That usually consists of a bigger schedule time slice then about 15 minutes.
    I was left sitting there thinking I avoided a bullet and not quite sure what the hell to think was going on in her head.
    I will never understand women. I don't even think women understand women.

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    Maybe she was trying to make you jealous and made up the whole story about the boy?

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    See I've heard of this "ploy/technique" but if that's what shes doing if anything it has completely turned me off.
    I sincerely hope that is not the case because, well if she has ever listened when we've talked she should know quite clearly I hate games first of all.
    And second of all in who's mind does telling someone you're having sex with, and entering into an emotional relationship with someone else, help encourage the other to make a move?

    Well either way I think I'm gonna see where thing's go with this ex . If what you're saying is the case maybe K can learn something here.
    Last edited by excowho; 26-03-09 at 11:16 AM.

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