Dating when the Chemistry is not there?

[TheTooya]

Well, having run into a situation where the chemistry is not there by the other party, I was curious what others view on dating when the chemistry isn't there?

I'll start off by saying my last relationship, of just a few months over year, started without the chemistry existing for me. The girl was very interested in me, but I was less interested in her, and said "oh why not, she seems like a nice person." About 3 or 4 months in, the relationship got more serious, you can say I started to care a lot more for her. The relationship ended because she started to turn nutty toward the end (jealousy and issues with her and my family.)

I am curious with other peoples stories, do they need that chemistry? Have you run into a situation where you went ahead without the chemistry? I am curious...

[ecojeanne]

well i wouldn't think it's a good idea to go ahead without chemistry coz i reckon it will catch up when the other person gets serious. it could cause the other person more hurt unnecessarily.

[Dasein]

There are a few differing opinions on this forum.

For me personally I want to have the chemistry. I have tried the whole "develop feelings" deal over time and it just isn't the same. I prefer someone I spark with.

[carl1222]

I totally agree with Jeanne. Getting into a relationship and trying to force chemistry has great potential to really hurt the other person.

I also agree with Dasien that the chances for satisfying chemistry to develop later are slim.

BUT ... people I know in some of the very best, stable and long term relationships have told me that they were surprised to find that they fell in love with someone who is totally different physically from what they expected, and that love kind of snuck up on them!

Maybe the best course of action, if you meet someone with whom you really click but do not spark, is to keep it a non-romantic friendship and take a wait and see attitude.

Carl.

[kabaniel]

I've been in a few relationships where I didn't have the chemistry I knew I needed for it to last, and I always ended up hurting the other person. It may work for some people but it didn't work for me. And there's nothing worse then knowing your not right for someone when your already with them. Now if I don't see chemistry right away, I won't even try. But that's just my appraoch