What should I do? I'm lost...

[bgi26]

I'm going to tell this story because I am so confused myself...I don't know what to do.

A new school year had started yet again. I was going to become a junior in high school. Time just passed so quickly. Up until now, nothing new had happened...but as I think about it, my junior year was where my high school life had gone through a big change. Out of my friends, I didn't have many girlfriends (as in just friends). I might have talked to a girl to ask her for homework, but no such thing as casual talk. The main reason is because I know that I am shy (yes, even though I am shy, it isn't easy to just become sociable with girls). It started in Math class...a new girl from a completely different school shared classes with me. The first month, we didn't really talk. I didn't really like her either - despite her beautiful apperance, she seemed really talkative and was annoying.

This is where it all started. She suddenly started asking me questions. She told me that math wasn't her best subject. Luckily, for me, math was my best. I started helping her, and we got to know each other. I found her on Myspace, and friended her. We started talking on AIM, like friends. Up until this point, I didn't have any sort of feelings for her. I don't know why, but as a month passed, I always smiled when I saw her face. She was kind and my initial judgments on her were wrong...she was just sociable, unlike me. In anime or manga, isn't it usually the guy that's outgoing and the girl that's shy?

Everytime I was assigned something from school, I would work with her. Eventually, we became almost like best friends. I was envied by some of my friends, who thought I was lucky as f*ck . Up until now, this was the first time I actually had a girl as a friend...even though we had known each other for two and a half months, it seemed as if we knew each other for years. There was such a weird thing though. Some people referred to her as a "slut" which infuriates me as to this day. She never dressed like one, but it was probably because of how she acted to guys (maybe?) She was talkative, as mentioned, and quite a flirt :/. I tried my best to ignore that fact...when she was with me she was really different. Nonethless, our relationship went downhill. First, I asked her out to the formal, prom, whatever you call it. She didn't reject, but said maybe...I felt sad but tried my best to stay strong. Next, she got a boyfriend (not from our school). I got extremely depressed (not extreme, but my attitude somewhat changed). We stopped talking to each other for one month.

After time passed, one of my best friends, who was a friend of that girl, told me that the girl was complaining to him. Why? She told him that I was ignoring her, and she felt sad. I was baffled...she was the one who stopped talking to me. I could feel it from her outer appearance she didn't want to talk to me. Eventually, she broke up, and started talking to me again. I was kind of happy, because I finally had a chance. I asked my best friend again to ask her about what she thought about relationships. She replied that she does not want to go out with anybody from this school and she wants to keep relationships as friends. This is probably the biggest thing I don't get. Why would she think like that? In addition, as school almost came to an end, I kept getting the feeling she was USING me. It pissed me off. Sometimes she wouldn't talk to me. Then she would suddenly talk to me to ask me about math and that she needed major help on homework, quizzes, tests. Besides that, she wouldn't talk to me. So a lot of my friends started thinking that she was using me. They told me to just forget about her. But how could I forget the girl I've been secretly in love with for so long? She MIGHT have been using me...but I still love her. It isn't easy to just stop loving someone.

Our status as of now? We are normal and good friends once again. Of course I will hate the fact that she is a flirt. Regardless, I really like how everything is as of now. I have one year left in high school. I really want to make something out of my final year and make it memorable. She even might be moving during the spring + she is on vacation so I want to make everything worth it and gamble it. Even though she said she doesn't want to become a part of a serious relationship, I want to take my chances. I want to change her opinion...but how? And what should I do? Also, I don't know if she is using me or not...I just hope it isn't true.

[vashti]

"she does not want to go out with anybody from this school and she wants to keep relationships as friends. This is probably the biggest thing I don't get. Why would she think like that?"



This means she doesn't want to date you. I'm sure she enjoys your company and thinks you are a good guy, but it doesn't look like she is romantically interested. This may sound bad initially, but it's part of the growing process. Everyone falls for someone who isn't interested at some point...

I don't think she is "using" you, at least not any more than one friend "uses" another. At most, she "uses" you for math help, and you "use" her for gaining experience with girls, self-esteem boosts, whatever. That is how a normal, reciprocal relationship works. It is only a problem when one gives more than they receive, causing resentment. You have to be honest about what you've been getting from her, because it isn't "nothing". If anything, you have been using your math skills to gain access to something that might otherwise not be accessible.

[Lynx3]

I think you should find someone else to be interested in
AND
either forget about her or continue to be friends with her.
It depends on what kind of person you are, can you still be friends with her without having an emotional attachment? If not, tell her the truth, you two sound you are close enough.
If she was interested in you, after all that happened, you would already be with her, but if it didn't happen by now, just forget it. There's plenty of others, and the fact is, no matter how attached you are to someone, your mind can get over them in time - you can even tell her you might have some feelings for her and need some time to yourself.

[all alone]

You can't change how she feels about you. What you can do is keep being yourself, and if you get impatient or start feeling down or on yourself wtv, don't show it to her, or else it will push her away.

And some people do have irrational reasons why they won't go out with someone, ie same school, etc.. iunno some people believe in those things more or then others, personally i do not..

[Sasuke-kun]

stay with her... and if the end is bad...do you have a shotgun ? ...the rest is up to you

[bgi26]

This means she doesn't want to date you. I'm sure she enjoys your company and thinks you are a good guy, but it doesn't look like she is romantically interested. This may sound bad initially, but it's part of the growing process. Everyone falls for someone who isn't interested at some point...

I never thought of that...maybe that's a possibility

I think you should find someone else to be interested in

I should try...but it's easier said than done :/

And some people do have irrational reasons why they won't go out with someone, ie same school, etc.. iunno some people believe in those things more or then others, personally i do not..

What are possible reasons? If you know any?

stay with her... and if the end is bad...do you have a shotgun ? ...the rest is up to you

Haha no




And I forgot to mention, I tried several times to stop thinking about trying to go out and just stay as good friends. However, I would always come back to start liking her again....it is so frustrating. Are there seriously any methods I can forget about trying to date her? Because the emotional attachment to her...is like...ugh

[vashti]

Stop hanging around her. She isn't *really* your friend anyway, is she? Most people don't have romantic feelings for their platonic "friends".

[all alone]

What are possible reasons? If you know any?

Well some people say they will never date a friend since they do not want to hurt or ruin friendships in the process, so they eliminate people as an 'option' shortly after befriending them, others might say they won't go out with a co-worker since if it goes sour, you will still see each everyday at work.

These views are a little overrated in my opinion, but lot of ppl still choose to stick to those types of guidelines..

[bgi26]

Stop hanging around her. She isn't *really* your friend anyway, is she? Most people don't have romantic feelings for their platonic "friends".

I am going to say she is my friend. I will try my best to forget about her...hopefully. It's just that as time passes, I will come back to her again >.>