Guys, this was a very stupid thing to do right?

[Lizzyb6938]

Oh holy cr*p I'm an idiot. Been broken up with the ex for nearly two months (his choice). He wanted me back after a week, but I said we'll wait and see after he comes back from his month and a half trip to Europe. Ok so I'd been doing really well. All contact came from him. Chose to reply to some of it, others I didn't. All his messages were sweet, most said I miss you. One was a picture message of him at Madame Tussauds in London with Audrey Hepburn (our first date was breakfast at tiffany's at the moonlight cinema) saying ' ran into an old friend thought you'd like to join us.'

So I've been playing it cool, nice but short and sweet. Just 'glad you're having fun' type stuff. Well anyways he got back yesterday. My friend wrote me a message asking if i'd heard from him yet. I wrote back saying 'hey gab, sorry for all my frantic calls yesterday (*note: they were nothing to do with my ex) haven't heard from matt. pilates on wednesday sounds great. i'll give you a call tomoz xoxo.' But I was distracted talking to my friend who I was in the car with and sent it to my ex instead!!!!

He wrote back saying 'hey lizzy, just a heads up you sent that message to the wrong person lol. you will hear from matt, if you want, once he has an extremely long sleep and gets over his jetlagg.' I was MORTIFIED. Here I am miss cool, calm and collected for two months having a wonderful time and making sure he knows about it and i feel like i've completely blown my poker face. I feel completely exposed.

I wrote back saying 'whoops lol sorry lizzy moment' which I think was the best thing to write given the circumstances but I feel like a complete idiot and like I've blown my whole I'm 100% ok without you act.

Btw I have been ok. I have been having a ball going out with friends, dating and have really been enjoying life but I do miss him alot. I know i'll be fine with or without him, but I would prefer the former.

I've really blown this haven't I??!! What would he be thinking?

[Lite]

WTF is up w/ this poker face bit? Is your dating life so rooted in bullshit games that you cannot honestly say up front that you do or do not want to date the person?

You are 100% OK without him, you just seem to have feelings for him that either you haven't resolved, or have chosen not to work on resolving. Which means you make a decision on of whether to pursue them or not. Either way still nowhere near the end of the world.

[Aeradalia]

I think I went cross-eyed reading that... what is it that you're wanting again? Do you want to date him or not? Doesn't seem nearly as complicated as you make it out to be...

[ecojeanne]

you're fine with what you wrote back and no you could have been frantic about anything. i wouldn't worry. i see nothing wrong with playin' it cool afterall he broke up with you. you did say 'nothing to do with my ex'. he may think otherwise but you can still play it off to be about something else. i think sometimes exposing yourself can be a good thing too (if you want) coz he may need that as motivation to keep wanting you if you're still unsure but thinking you would maybe like to get back with him.

[SYoungGuy]

i think sometimes exposing yourself can be a good thing too (if you want) coz he may need that as motivation to keep wanting you if you're still unsure but thinking you would maybe like to get back with him.

If he does get the feeling that she still wants to be with him, and she ends up not wanting to be with him in the end. Don't ya think that it could some-what hurt the guy emotionally?

I understand it was his fault for breaking up with you. She has basically all control right now, its just how she wants to play the hand she was dealt.

Than again i know nothing when it comes to romantics, i apologize if this comment was misunderstood.

Then again some guys like the girl that plays "hard to get"

[ecojeanne]

If he does get the feeling that she still wants to be with him, and she ends up not wanting to be with him in the end. Don't ya think that it could some-what hurt the guy emotionally?

I understand it was his fault for breaking up with you. She has basically all control right now, its just how she wants to play the hand she was dealt.

Than again i know nothing when it comes to romantics, i apologize if this comment was misunderstood.

Then again some guys like the girl that plays "hard to get"

your comment is completely valid, it's true she may hurt him, but imo he brought it on himself. i don't think she wants to intentionally hurt him coz it seems atm she is leaning towards taking him back; but that she wants him to work for it coz he messed her about by breaking up and then changing his mind.

[Mish]

I've really blown this haven't I??!! What would he be thinking?

Yup, that's it! Your cover is blown! Now you'll never be able to date him or any other man ever again! If only you didn't do this one little mistake everything would be swell, but it's all over now!

What will you do now that such a terrible mistake had been made? Will you ever be able to live with yourself?

[IndiReloaded]

That msg was harmless and you are thinking about this waaay to much. His response sounds cool. You should try it.

Balls in his court now. Wait and see if he calls you. Relax.

[Lite]

That msg was harmless and you are thinking about this waaay to much. His response sounds cool. You should try it.

Balls in his court now. Wait and see if he calls you. Relax.

Speaking of balls, he at least had the cajones to admit he felt that he made a mistake in breaking up with you. Which means he cares enough to tell you this... Or that he quickly realized he wouldn't get anywhere w/ the 3 other girls. LOL

[TheGreek]

Women and their bullshit games...

[Lite]

Women and their bullshit games...

Men play just as many. It's a pretty even tit-for-tat score that men and women keep. At least until you grow up and stop playing the a game that gains you nothing but who's wronged who the most.

[TheGreek]

Men play just as many. It's a pretty even tit-for-tat score that men and women keep. At least until you grow up and stop playing the a game that gains you nothing but who's wronged who the most.

Maybe. Like early on, you don't call her as often as you want. You wait a little while. Because if you do, you'd come on too strong and too needy. So you have to semi-play a game. But stuff like this, I dunno. To me it's different. Maybe it's not.

[Lite]

Maybe. Like early on, you don't call her as often as you want. You wait a little while. Because if you do, you'd come on too strong and too needy. So you have to semi-play a game. But stuff like this, I dunno. To me it's different. Maybe it's not.

Nope, it's no different. Exercising some personal restraint isn't the same as playing some game.

[ecojeanne]

Tbh lizzy, just speaking from my own personal experience, I don’t think it’s a good idea to take someone back after they did the breaking up. They do it for a reason. I took my ex back after he begged me over and over and then he treated me worse than ever and so I had to break up with him in the end. Me personally, I will never make that mistake again coz I felt way more hurt by his behaviour after I took him back. I didn’t feel as bad when he had initially broken up with me, in-fact it felt right. But once I took him back I got way more emotionally invested and his behaviour towards me got to the point of unbearable. When I look back now I think he partly treated me so badly coz he wanted me to be seen a the ‘bad guy’ doing the break up. Ridiculous but have a think about it before you take him back.

[Lite]

Tbh lizzy, just speaking from my own personal experience, I don’t think it’s a good idea to take someone back after they did the breaking up. They do it for a reason. I took my ex back after he begged me over and over and then he treated me worse than ever and so I had to break up with him in the end. Me personally, I will never make that mistake again coz I felt way more hurt by his behaviour after I took him back. I didn’t feel as bad when he had initially broken up with me, in-fact it felt right. But once I took him back I got way more emotionally invested and his behaviour towards me got to the point of unbearable. When I look back now I think he partly treated me so badly coz he wanted me to be seen a the ‘bad guy’ doing the break up. Ridiculous but have a think about it before you take him back.

So, you're saying that because one individual did this to you, every individual who suffers a crisis of faith in a relationship will? Sounds rather defeatist if you ask me. It'd be one thing if you let the same guy do it repeatedly, but another altogether someone needed a bit of perspective due to circumstances of their life in order to understand what was truly important to them.

Sounds more like the real problem was yours in allowing him to treat you that way after you took him back, and because of it you still want to blame him for your failing at enforcing your boundaries and your needs from a mate. Sure, he did wrong by you, but you still stayed in a relationship w/ him even when his behavior was "worse".