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Thread: what the hell is he thinking? (long sorry..)

  1. #1
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    what the hell is he thinking? (long sorry..)

    so i'm probably one of the younger bloggers on this site, and i could use some advice from you all about how to move on from this.
    my ex is only 17 and i broke up with him because he was not treating me right what-so-ever.

    after the break up he blamed me for ruining us. but this was a common theme in our fights. he would do something terrible, i would get upset, and he would freak out that i was upset and make me apologize without ever acknowledging his part in the argument. i should have never allowed this but i didn't realize it until now.

    So basically he's been so confused with everything he has been making things up and convincing himself that things are certain ways. he changes his story to fit his mood and how he feels. he's still really immature and this was his first relationship. i'm moving on simply because i can't take this anymore.

    we met up the other morning to talk everything out about the break up. i needed him to understand that this wasn't my fault and he had to understand my circumstances i was in when we broke up. he understood but he didn't want to. he asked if i still cared about him and i told him yes...he went home and told his parents i was obsessed with him and he will never never never go out with me again. but then says to me that he wants to just see how things go.. i guess because he feels bad? His mom told me & him (at separate times) that he probably wanted to break up with me but he didn't have the courage, and he turned into a **** subconsciously so i would breka up with him..

    he's having an emotional break down it seems because he constantly tweets that he has no friends, but then tells me that he doesn't need me. and when i don't ask whats wrong he gets upset. it's like he wants to move on but make sure I'm still there when he needs me. which isn't going to happen its not fair.

    so then i saw him at a party and he said that me going to this younger party he was at was "obsessive" in reality i was going before he even knew about it. so i go and say hi to everyone, i remain calm and social with friends...and he sat in the corner on his phone with tears in his eyes. he's made it completely clear over the past 2 months that he doesn't want to be with me and that he wants to move on. he also told me the other day i need to make decisions that don't consider him anymore, which is why i went to the party.. i wanted to go before i knew he was there. when i saw him in the corner for a while alone, i walked over and said hi! and he said hi but he continued to look at his phone..so i walked away. i saw him furiously get up and go to his sister. he said "i thought she was only stopping by" for someone who nailed it in my mind to move on and to not care what he does anymore, thats pretty hypocritical.

    but after he sat back down again i waited a minute to get my coat and i said bye to everyone.. on my way out he was the last one sitting by the door, so i gave him a hug and said bye, he didn't hug me back. i heard that after i left he continued to sit in the corner sulking. i don't know what his deal is, i mean earlier that day he was being dramatic as usual and instead of feeding into it, i was indifferent. i guess that could have upset him


    i truly don't know whats going on in his head, he's really confused. he needs to stop lying to himself and being very hypocritical. he sent me one text "I'm moving on because i'm still pissed you broke up with me" and a couple texts later i get "i honestly don't even care that you broke up with me anymore" .... i feel like he needs time to clear his head. he seems lonely.


    our relationship was really great, but when football started he went into "Football mode" his ego shot up, and the walls went up. he was exhausted and stopped telling me things.. he's bitter because i couldn't hold on for one more month..when football ended.. but i dealt with him being an a-hole to me from august-october... and there is no reason i should have. so i broke up with him. there is no excuse to treat someone like * * * * . i still believe i did the right thing, and i flat out told him..how can i trust you when you say things will be better after football if you've been treating me crappy since august? He is also use to always getting his way..which is why the break up probably annoyed him more. i was supposed to go to his brothers house that day...but in the morning i drove to his house and ended it because of our behavior towards each other. he wanted to be able to get through football season & get away with being a **** but i didn't let that happen. i was done.

    so he know's he was an * * * * * and now i just gotta move on. if he "wanted" this, he'll see what it's really like to lose me.. i'm not talking to him.. i've given him so much already when i shouldn't have.. i don't think he even knows what it's like to lose me..so it could hit him hard..

    plus he's not going to have a fun winter break, he's going to be getting a surgery on his acl because he tore it. lots of time to lay around in bed and think... could drive him crazy! and he'll be lonely.. his friends are crappy too.

    i'm not holding back for him anymore. but from your experiences do people really realize that they did wrong? will he over come his ego? i know he was really upset about the break up, but i was still there..he didn't actually lose me until this past weekend. i haven't spoken to him since the party on saturday.. ugh

    idk!!! any advice what you think about this? first love? mehhhh

  2. #2
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    I know I'm a girl but you need to move on and not talk to him anymore. He's got mental issues and blames everyone else to make himself feel better. This can go terribly wrong if you keep talking to him. Ignore him and don't say anything to him if you see him in public. It's going to be so tough but for you and your own sanity, please just let him go.

  3. #3
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    i am letting him go, it would just be nice to know what other peoples inputs are ya know? also for my own sanity


    it doesn't sound like he knows what he wants...correct? idk experienced ppl help!

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    You may never get the closure you want from him, so just let him go. Start a new chapter in your life, find someone nice, and have the courage to be happy. Have no contact with him at all, he sounds mental.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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