I'm Dying Here!

[TyRuK]

Ok a few months ago i had my heart broken by a girl who I liked a whole lot. During the process of getting over her

I met up with a girl I haven't seen since primary school (I'm from the Uk primary school is where you go up untill you're 11) and we got talking and started meeting up and going out alot.

At first i was thinking "Hey this girl and I could end up being really good friends" but it turned out different to what i expected. We started having sex and she had a boyfriend who found out the true nature of our relationship and in response he beat her cracking three ribs and giving her two black eyes.

Now i felt really guilty about this and we stopped talking for a short while. So when we started talking again she had split up with her boyfriend and i saw this as an opportunity to get in and start a relationship out of this but that wasn't what she wanted for some reason. Then one day we started talking and it turns out that she had been raped a year ago the case never went to court due to the accused leaving the country. So now I find myself so in love with this girl that all I want to do is make life better for her. She makes me a better man but she is so messed up that she doesn't seem to want me. She told me once she loved me and i didnt reply I've never told her i love her. I don't know what to do.

[vashti]

I hate to say that this is not the way "happily ever after" begins.

Your girl - victim though she is - may well be hooked to the drama that these kind of men add to her life. Dating you legitimately may not offer the kind of excitement she needs right now.

I guess you could try telling her how you feel, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

Sorry.

[Gigabitch]

Jesus, did you just describe the better man that she makes you? What were you like before?

Sorry, babe, but you're messed up, too. What do you think you could do to make her life better? Maybe you could give her the Wall of Silence again if she ever decided to get her nerve up to tell you she loves you.

Or maybe you could cut all contact with her when she's got broken ribs resulting from a situation that YOU contributed to.

Of course she doesn't want you. She needs someone she can lean on, probably in a very unhealthy way, and you aren't exactly terra firma, are you? So what do you offer her? And why are you so sure you're being rejected when you haven't even told her how you feel?

.................................................. ......................................

Okay, enough abuse. TyRuk, you have to be there for her. Really be there. You've got a lot to make up for, so get off your ass and put yourself out there- really show her that she wasn't just another lay.

Go do it.

[TyRuK]

She makes me a better man because she can't just be another lay I was alot worse before. You're wrong about the broken ribs, it was entirely my fault and I guess I'll have to live with that. I haven't told her how i feel because I'm not used to these sorts of feelings, I'm not the type of guy to look for the one true love thing I feel alot better on my own but hey what have I got to lose?

[Gigabitch]

She makes me a better man because she can't just be another lay I was alot worse before. You're wrong about the broken ribs, it was entirely my fault and I guess I'll have to live with that. I haven't told her how i feel because I'm not used to these sorts of feelings, I'm not the type of guy to look for the one true love thing I feel alot better on my own but hey what have I got to lose?

How am I wrong- because I only accused you of contributing to the situation? Look, she was with an abusive asshole in the first place. I don't cut the ones who stay with abusers a lot of slack.

But she LEFT him. Look, it's not just going to fall into your lap. You want her? Good. GO GET HER. The fact that you're not used to having these feelings doesn't really matter. The feelings are more important than the fear.

You can do this.

[TyRuK]

I spoke to her about how i feel and she was quite happy about it. We're going away to chill out and talk about stuff. I'm on such a high right now.

[Gigabitch]

Yay! See, guys, it PAYS to make the Declaration of Love.

Happy for you, Ty.

[TyRuK]

Muchos Gracias. And here i was thinking this place couldn't help me.