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Thread: is it alright for bf to talk to ex AGAIN to tell her its over?

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    is it alright for bf to talk to ex AGAIN to tell her its over?

    he has been away for a few months, now coming home in month, contact has started, between them- her first. so he shares with me , he wants me to be at his house while he tells his ex that he's moved on and has a relationship he is serious about with me. (But doesnt want me by his side) He has once previously already told her this, just a few months back before leaving. now he feels he has to do this again. Is/Should that be o.k.?

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    He shouldn't have to tell her again. He should just ignore her.

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    I don't understand why you would question this. If he wants to tell her again, it's because she hasn't gotten the message yet.

    I don't really understand why you shouldn't be there, though. It might make the finality more of a reality for her.

    And BTW - he should probably cut contact. She is obviously having a hard time, and cutting her off will help her face the reality of the situation.
    Last edited by shh!; 20-07-08 at 10:42 AM.

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    that would only bring more trouble to the already peaceful life.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Why would you even want to be there (I wouldn't want to)? To make sure he does it right, lol? Seems weird that you would even want to get involved, or don't you trust him?

    Its his crap to deal with. You should take the high road, IMO. Tell him so.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Hmm.. maybe I misunderstood? I thought the guy wanted innocence to be there... Innocence - are you making your boyfriend include you?

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    He said he wanted you in the house, but not at his side while he talked to the ex? That doesn't make sense to me.

    I also think it's a conversation he needs to have with the ex on his own. With you there, things might get ugly. Like, Jerry Springer ugly.

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    She said he wants her there, but even that seems weird to me. Like he somehow needs her support or is too scared to do this himself? Strange, to me. Mbe the ex is a psycho, but just sounds to me like he hasn't been good with boundaries & could use the practice.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck View Post
    With you there, things might get ugly. Like, Jerry Springer ugly.

    But that would be kind of funny!

    Oh, okay. Never mind. Stay out of it, innocence.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    But that would be kind of funny!

    Oh, okay. Never mind. Stay out of it, innocence.
    In other words, if you do choose to go, make a vid for us. Thanks.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    One thing I'm concerned about is, is he really over her? Does he feel guilty going over there thinking you might wonder if he's sleeping with her? So he'll bring you to show you he's not? This is a very strange situation.

    I have the best answer to all of your problems.

    Tell him to no talk to her, break all contact with her, ignore her, and tell her to **** off.

    He doesn't need to go over there, and you especially don't need to go over there. She's his ex...she's not his problem anymore. There's absolutely no reason to even go over there, he can simply just tell her the next time she calls/texts that he doesn't want her talking to him, that it's been over and he's moved on. And from there on he should ignore her future attempts.

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    Indyreloaded To Answer Your Reply......i Had No Idea This Was Even An Issue, Clueless! So- Not My Idea What So Ever!!!

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    I Had No Idea This Was Even An Issue, Clueless! So- Not My Idea What So Ever!!!

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