Confusing breakup...

[BmxJsh6]

My gf just broke up with me, we were dating for 1 year and lived together for atleast 6 months. She broke it off because she needs to get her life together(college and what not). I mean she says there is still a chance we might get back together when we are really ready. I am just so confused because she still wants to be my friend and have sex... I just dont understand it. It would be the same thing as being together without a title pretty much. but when i really think about it, why put myself through that much pain when you dont know if your actually going to get back together... Should i take that train ride or just stay at the station? Please Help

[misombra]

she still wants to be your friend and still have sex? what's the difference? does she want to be friends and have sex with other people?

[BmxJsh6]

thats what i dont know, i dont wanna be having sex with her if shes going to be having sex with other guys, why couldnt she just make it less confusing and not having all the balls in her court... i know she ****ed up because i am a great guy. i just want her or closure...

[Kyouhen]

sounds to me by saying she is your "friend" but still have sex is allowing her to have all the joys of the relationship with none of the obligation, since she will just be your "friend" then she has no need to be loyal to you, or to adhere to your other needs other than physical.

You gotta confront her and get a straight answer, that rollercoaster is not worth it

[BmxJsh6]

i have confronted her and she is confused cause she doesnt know what she wants... i want her to have time to make the right decision but i also want her back in my arms so i dont wanna mess anything up ya know

[misombra]

if you want her back in your arms, you'll have to set your limit. tell her that you want her back but you're not going to be her friend or have sex with her if she really wants to break up. she can't have it both ways. she needs to make up her mind.

i don't know if that will get her back in your arms but standing up for yourself shows that you're confident and willing to let her go. chicks love that kind of thing.

[BmxJsh6]

well i will see how the next couple of days go and then confront her again... thanks for your help i appreciate it

[daydreamin420]

Yeah she wants to have you, and still be free to do what she wants. She doesn't want to give up what you have together, but she does want to be single and free and act on her desires. If you really want to save yourself a world of heartbreak, just walk away now. Or give her an ultimatum, I want you ALL or I dont want you AT ALL. Because it sounds like u really care for her and only want her, and it doesnt really sound like she feels the same way. Good Luck!

[Kaius]

Take control. Don't let her dictate the situation. You want a relationship, and she wants to be friends with benefits. That's not fair.
Break it off with her, and move on. She is probably not ready to be weaned of sex with you. Good. That's what she gets for being non-committal.
You are single again....so go out and have fun man!

[cmacattack1]

Yeah, she's keeping you around as a cushion because you are scrambling for anything she wants and she gets to be with something she was used to and familiar with. That next guy comes along though and it's "Bam! We have been broken up! I'm over you now!" That would be brutal.

All you can do is really lose that cushion so that she really knows what it is like to be alone. This is what she wanted so she has to deal with it. Don't let her play around with you like this though, it's purely in her own interest and not in yours or the two of yours.