New Question For You Guys

[inkeepingsecret]

Regretfully, I am back on here posting about my ex, but this time its not for the wrong reasons.

Im sure most of you have read about my ex and I. The last time i posted about her i was saying that i was moving on and i wasnt going to talk to her at all. It's been about a month now, and things couldnt have been better.

I recently got a promotion. Weekends are more fun then ever, and my general moral has been at a alltime high. The only set back happened 2 nights ago. The last time we spoke, i told her that i couldnt talk to her and she and i needed to move on, then i blocked her on AIM. Then, the other night, she IMes me, from a new s/n. Initially i was stunned, but my gut instinct was not to reply. So once again, i blocked her.

I think that was the right thing to do, but was it? She managed to creep back up into my mind.

Please dont be too harsh.


ps - "swingers" is a great movie to watch if you are going thru this stuff

[Rach]

You did the right thing! If your goal was to get her out of your mind, and toatlly move on, that was definately the right thing for you to do. The only way for you to maybe get completely over her and completely move on mey be for you to have no ties with her at all. And she should understand that, not make new sn's to talk to you still.

[C1d6OC]

Quite honestly, it seems like you are moving on quite well which is good to hear. I have a feeling that her curiousity is getting to her and that's why she went to another s/n. My feeling is that if you think you won't be too hurt talking to her, maybe you should not necessarily ignore her. The heart is a powerful thing and you have to do what's best for you in the end. But I'm sure she knows that you're doing well or she wouldn't have done that. On the other hand, it all depends on how you think you will handle it. If she wants to just chat, it's up to you. Personally I wouldn't, but then again, I haven't healed as much as you have yet. But if she's missing you and wants to discuss things, then you have to decide that for yourself. Good luck man.

[cycletease]

I am SOOOO proud of you! You are a trooper! I wish I could be half as strong as you have been. You are walking a hard path in style.

You made the right choice, you should block her or just ignore her. This is not to be mean, but it is what you have to do. Contact with her will jest wreak havoc on your emotions right now...as it already has.

Stay strong. Swingers is a great recommendation!!! I love that movie!

[inkeepingsecret]

cycletease - thx for confirming what i knew was the only way i could handle this right now. Yesterday was a little bit harder then usual, because now the ex has crept back into my head, and i had to vent a bit. And to top it off, i was working in the NYC. Damn penn station brings back so many memories. Honestly, the thought of contacting her crossed my mind, but for only a split second. These last few weeks have been my happiest few weeks in quite awile, even better then when we were together. I wouldnt want to ruin that.

I still love her, and that i know, but right now is not the time. She knew it was too hard and i know that now. If we are meant to be then one day we will, and if not then, thats ok too. Im not banking on anything. I'm counting on myself, and thats it!!!!


thx guys


ps - don't watch "the notebook"
haha

[cycletease]

You are a ray of sunshine on this forum right now. You are doing just what you should and are demonstrating to everyone here the point of it all.

The fact that you are going out and enjoying your life is awesome. If the whole point of life is experience, you are really living. Sitting at home, depressed is never the right path.

I have to say, there is nothing more attractive in another person than them having a life filled with fun an adventure. New experiences are great and you are doing fantastic!

Of course you will be sad from time to time and think of her...that means that you are human and that you have a good capacity for love. This speaks well of you. Keep doing what you're doing and keep us posted about the good times. Hearing this from you will give hope to the others.

Thank you!!!

[C1d6OC]

cycletease words are GOLDEN!!!

[acidrein_08]

You are a ray of sunshine on this forum right now. You are doing just what you should and are demonstrating to everyone here the point of it all.

The fact that you are going out and enjoying your life is awesome. If the whole point of life is experience, you are really living. Sitting at home, depressed is never the right path.

I have to say, there is nothing more attractive in another person than them having a life filled with fun an adventure. New experiences are great and you are doing fantastic!

Of course you will be sad from time to time and think of her...that means that you are human and that you have a good capacity for love. This speaks well of you. Keep doing what you're doing and keep us posted about the good times. Hearing this from you will give hope to the others.

Thank you!!!

Cycle are you currently in a relationship?

[cycletease]

Cycle are you currently in a relationship?

Yep! Workin' things out with my guy. Almost 4 years now and things are going well since the major collapse at the first of the year.

[inkeepingsecret]

I had to search for this old thread, and im bringing it back to life!!!

In regards to to the initial comment, I IMed the ex the other night. Not because I wanted to get back with her, not because I was dying inside, and def not because I was depressed.

I know this may not have been the best thing to do, but in my mind, I finally felt like i could handle it. And, i was right! We caught up on old things and such, nothing serious, because i didnt have one expectation going into the conversation. I was happy to hear that she was doing ok, with school, and crew. She was happy to hear i was doing well too.

Actually, i dont know why i am posting this. I think the point im trying to convey, is that things will and do get better. A few months ago, I thought my life was over. I was a wreck, with no hope at all. Now, im going out, having a great time, and i feel so much better about myself as a person. I dont have any desire to get back with the ex, nor do i care about her "dating/personal" life.

I think this post is to help you guys out there who are going thru some rough times, And things, as they always do, will get better with time. As long as you want to move on, that is.

[Junket]

Please dont be too harsh.

::sigh:: Alright, I'll call the dogs off...

[mhussain]

teach me how to move on mate, coz i cant . i simply cant forget my ex.

Hussain

[inkeepingsecret]

Me thinks -

I read a few of your other posts. Although, i cant relate directly, i can shed my light on the matter. The thing is, that you probably already know what you need to do. The problem lies in the fact that you dont want to move on. If you keep on having that idea in your head, it wil take you so much longer to recover. Let her go; emotionally, spiritually, mentally, socially, etc. Make a leap of faith, and enjoy your life. She and people in this forum have told you what to do. Life can be pretty amazing at times, the sooner you let her go the sooner you will realize this.

People in this forum have given you the advice, its up to you is you want to use it.

[schueys_girl]

Sorry im so late replying to this thread inkeeping (ive been a very busy girl ) but i am pleased that you are doing so well, and a true testimony that the no contact thing really is the way to go...and that people really can come out the other side! Keep up the good work mate, i told you you would get there in the end! much love xxxx

[cycletease]

I just want to say again how proud I am of you. A break up is such a hard and life changing thing. Thank you for posting up that things have worked out well. You can close a chapter of your life at any time and open a new one. Life is an opportunity and you are showing everyone that even a sad thing can lead to good times.