Have I Lost Him For Good?

[Nichole]

hey there
so I was with a man and I am not sure what happened exactly. There was a week he went to FL and dropped his phone in the water, so he couldn't talk to me. I Facebook messaged him and asked him when I was going to see him again (I left my jacket in his truck and I wanted it back). He said he would meet me at school )We go to the same college) and give it to me. He stood me up and made an excuse about it. It was okay, he said he would give it to me the next time we were both at school. Then he stood me up again.. I was upset so I got mad and said I just wanted my jacket back please. He didn't message me back. A couple days later I asked him if he could please please please meet me at school. No reply. Couple days later--no reply. So I message him again and asked what was up, why wasn't he talking to me, and if he was trying to break up with me or something. No reply. A week later-- still no reply. (Sorry this keeps going on, but I want to tell the whole story in case I did something wrong that I am unaware of.) Then I got really upset, not that I told him. I messaged him again and said if this was about my jacket then he could keep it if it was that important and that I just wanted him back. Still nothing. And every couple days after that I said sort of the same thing, I miss you blah blah. Stuff like that. It is a month and a half later and I still haven't heard anything from him. I stopped texting him two and a half weeks ago.

I don't understand. He never broke up with me. I want to know a few things:
Did I do something?
Can someone break up with you by ignoring you?
Why do you think he stopped talking to me?
Is there any hope of him everrrr talking to me again?
Is there any chance that he would want to get back together one day?
What would you do if you were in my position (text him etc.)?
If there is a way to get him to talk to me or get him back-- advice on how to do that?

[basilandthyme]

Hi Nichole, this must be so frustrating for you. I very much doubt that he's going to want to come back. And even if he did want to come back, you'd be crazy to accept him. He's shown you how thoughtless he can be - so do yourself a favour and don't let him back into your life. Frankly, I don't believe that he dropped his phone in the water either....it's just too convenient given his current behaviour.

As for what went wrong, we can only guess. But in order to guess, there's a bit more background we'd need:

1. how long had you been seeing him before this happened? Were you an official couple?
2. was the relationship happy or did it have 'ups and downs'?
3. if there were problems, what kind of problems were they?

I assume you still don't have your jacket. Do you have any mutual friends who could pick it up for you?

[Nichole]

I know, but we had such a good relationship.
Okay, so we dated probably 6 plus months (not including the weeks in which he started ignoring me) (And yes offically)
We fought occasionally like every couple on the planet, but nothing too extreme
There didn't have any serious problems really. We never had sex, but he said that was okay. He had had enough sex in his life, so that part didn't really matter. He wanted the real deal or whatever.

And no mutual friends that can pick it up and I really want that damn jacket back. I suppose a lot of that want is just because he won't give it back. I told him he could mail it to me if he wanted. He lives like 5 minutes from my grandparents and I told him he could stick it in their mail box.

If it is over for good, I need closure, something. Anything. One single word would be enough. Something. Even a simple, Its over text. That would be enough. I can't leave it alone until I get something.

[michelle23]

You dont need anything. Right now you sound desperate and you are being a doormat. Why would you want anything to do with him after he ignored you for over a month. That is pathetic. Im sorry to be so harsh but you need a reality check.

Move on with your life and forget the loser.

6months and no sex? I'm not surprised its over. was that your idea or his? That is not a relationship, its just a friendship.

[basilandthyme]

Nichole, I strongly suspect this guy was full of shit. I didn't believe that his phone fell in the water and I don't believe that he was fine without sex. Red blooded guys who are used to having sex aren't likely to say "I've had enough sex in my life".

And not all couples fight. Disagree - certainly. But a good couple will resolve the issue before it becomes a 'fight'.

[Nichole]

I am not being desperate. Is it so hard to say "hey I am breaking up with you?" Is that so freaking hard. He can go on his merry way, I am far from desperate. Im an 8.5 and hes a 4 or less. (Not that I would tell him that, after being with so many jerks, I look for more in the inner stuff). But damn a guy could at least break up with a girl. For real.
And yes, no sex, I am a virgin and he was okay with that. When I told him I was ready, he even said maybe we should wait longer. It is not like we didn't do other things. It was a relationship thank you.

[Nichole]

Oh and I still want my damn jacket back.

[Wakeup]

I am not being desperate. Is it so hard to say "hey I am breaking up with you?"

Well its one of the oldest tricks in the book to keep you on the shelf, a door open to you, as they say. Now, because he hasn't told you it's over (although it is if he's not actually dead or in hospital unconscous) He can just come back to you like nothing has happened and you'll be so worked up and relieved that he still wants you that you'll open that door right up and let him march through it.

He n go on his merry way, I am far from desperate. Im an 8.5 and hes a 4 or less.

LMAO. Yet you're the one who's all desperate for him to call you. How pretentous sounding you are.

but damn a guy could at least break up with a girl. For real.

He did. Get closure from yourself by being convicted enough to know you'd not want a wanker in your life who tells you shit like "I have had enough sex in my life so I don't need to do you." (basically) Good lord.. did that not fly a huge red flag up, no intuition about what a manipulator he is?

And yes, no sex, I am a virgin and he was okay with that.

Sure he was because he has plenty of sex and didn't need it from you, you said so yourself.

when I told him I was ready, he even said maybe we should wait longer. It is not like we didn't do other things. It was a relationship thank you.

Lucky.. I guess he knew he had one foot out the door and was good enough not to take advantage of your 8.5 wonderfulness.

You dodged a bullet. HoooooooRay.

[lalalita]

Have you even seen him around? Are are sure something didn't happen to him?

[basilandthyme]

And yes, no sex, I am a virgin and he was okay with that. When I told him I was ready, he even said maybe we should wait longer. It is not like we didn't do other things.

Oh, so he didn't even want to have sex with you when you said you were up for it. He obviously wasn't that into you.....or he was afraid that you'd get attached after having sex. Oh, hang on...that's the same thing, isn't it.

[dickriculous]

There didn't have any serious problems really. We never had sex

I can't be the only one who lol'd at this.

[Wakeup]

I'm thinking Our OP is an infamous fun-guy troll. (waits for troll to come back in and ream me out for calling 'her' a troll)