Procrastinator? or just no motivation?

[NewToLove]

Well title says it.. am i just being lazy and procrastinating? or am i uninterested? lack of motivation?

not sure if this is the right place to post this.. but it says "self-development" so i'm asking for advice.. please move this to the right section if it's wrong..

let add one more: maybe giving up.. at such young age...

I don't know if it's another phase of my life.. but phases won't stop coming.. I kept telling myself i'm going to have a great year ahead of me.. i'm going into my senior year... but yet i don't excited.. not even slightly motivated to do anything for myself.. MYSELF...

Reasons I'm feel down in the dumps lately..

I'm single and not searching/looking out for potential relationships after my 2 tedious and heart breaking experience... so i thought i would continue to prepare myself and do a lot of self-improvement before i meet a right one...

My goals centered around my future... well near future... and also my hobbies and what i think would be cool...

I picked up guitar.. but i'm losing motivation cause i can't seem to get it right.. im self taught.. maybe i need a tutor/teacher? I'm mad at myself for not being patient...

Tennis practice became only twice a week.. and because of lack of activeness i've been playing WoW... my tennis performance drastically downgraded... and i'm pissed at myself for that... but can't seem to get out in this hot weather.. that's at least what i tell myself.

Aside from that.. I quit gaming about a year ago.. when i had relationships because games are a waste of time.. but after my heart was broken.. games slowly crept back into my life and is dominating a good chunk of hours per day... I'm mad at myself for not stopping what i know is "wasting my life away"

What am I doing? I should be doing scholarships.. keeping fit but i'm eating chocolate everyday.. sitting on my ass infront of my 64 inch TV hooked up to my computer gaming and surfing the net watching stuff... it's tearing me appart but it's also what's keeping me from laying around too.. I'm not sure what's going on... with myself..

Everything i've done to improve myself was for my girlfriends up until now.. I told myself.. what if i was sexier.. I worked for the 6-pack abs... I was almost there and then.. my heart broke and i lost motivation? or just gave up? or have no interest?

Tennis.. oh i love that sport... but is it because the lack of scheduled practice or hot weather kicking my ass or am i kicking myself in the ass for being lazy.. cause i can drive.. so why not go to a park and hit with random people?????!

Am i afraid? maybe cause i've worked so hard and nothing seemed to be reciprocated back to me...

all that effort and i go no where.. maybe i'm thinking i should settle for 2nd best.. or more like... 2nd to last...

I need motivation.. or reasons to be active again... i miss my sexy self.. i feel disgusted at myself.. i truly do.. but i don't know why ... i know what i can do to change this.. but why am i not????

[ecojeanne]

you have too much time on your hands to think. get back out there and have fun. i met a friend recently and really thought wow she really has her shit together. she has a horse she tends to, goes to comps most weekends and has just bought a little cottage and lives in the countryside and works in the city helping to teach underpriviliged kids get back into society....she is almost too busy to have a bf and still she manages and manages to fit me in too for meets.

you need to make yourself busy and stop focusing on yourself so much, find a new interest. you just need to find your passion i reckon

[NewToLove]

Thanks.. i've been keeping my mind of self esteem and just went out there and do the things i enjoy lately... even the smallest things. thanks... but I'm still feeling empty...

[Yggdrasil]

Start meditating. I ain't shitting you. Read up on mindfulness training.