Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for over a year now and had a really intense relationship. We loved each other, borderline obsessed, however I hurt him too much (wont get into it) and we broke up after about a year. It was sort of me that broke up with him but then I realised I had been being silly and tried to get him back but he didn't want it.
It took me a longggg time to get over him and I'm not even sure I still am. Anyway we had some bitter feuds for a few months then absolutely no contact. In this time I thought things had become civil, he said happy birthday to me on my facebook I did the same when it was his birthday and in July he asked me a favour and it was all very nice and civil and I was happy because all I wanted was for us to not hate each other and to move on because that was the best thing to do. Since July I haven't spoken to him.
Or maybe he was just pretending to be nice because recently I noticed a comment from his twitter which someone retweeted which was very much directed at me. Also a girl who he is friends with had a sort of dig at me on twitter after something I had said and he retweeted it when he was drunk and made out it was a good thing what she had said (all really immature)
So now I realise that we are very much not civil anymore, at least he isn't because he evidently still hates me. I only wish him the best and although sometimes I do get nostalgia and feel lonely I realise we have both changed and there's not a chance we can get back together.
I've heard that hate is very close to love but the feeling I get is that his hatred for me is bitter and really strong which hurts me because I haven't said anything to him. We had a rocky relationship and I admit I ruined it and deeply hurt him but I don't understand why more than a year later he still hates me? We were first loves and all that but I don't understand what I've done?
I noticed that his hate properly started after we broke up. Before then it was sort of he loved me but he hated me for hurting him. Now, I can only describe his hate as if there was a car, he'd throw me under it. Really it is that strong. But like I said we haven't been in contact at all, we've had no arguments and I've always tried to remain nice to him even when he was being horrible to me. I realise he has good reason to hate me but I suppose I just feel a bit down that something which was so good became so bad and it is still bad even after all this time.