Last ditch effort

[Indestructible]

*Sigh* Some of you are probably fairly familiar with my story, but for those that aren't I don't want to go into TOO much detail, this time. But some background is necessary; see, there's a girl that I've been head over heels for, for a long time. Like, going back to when her and I were just little kids. It's been about 6-7 years since we've actually seen each other, though, so I know I can't exactly say, without a doubt, that I'm still crazy about her. But about a year ago, I managed to get back in contact with her online, and ever since then, I can't help but be SO curious about whether or not we could ever get together.

Her interest level has kinda wavered, though; when we were first writing, she seemed to really enjoy writing with me, but I eventually backed down quite a bit because she was in a serious relationship (well, serious for college kids), and I was driving myself nuts knowing I couldn't do anything. When they broke up, I stupidly right away wrote her about meeting up with me, and she just kinda never wrote me back. I stopped writing for a while, and then finally tried getting back in the loop with her; she hasn't seemed to totally disconnect herself from me, but frequently flakes out when I write her, so I've been cutting down on how much I write to her. But for the last 7-8 months, all my messages to her have been dopey little "small talk" type messages, so how could I expect to move things forward like that, right? I know for a fact, though, that she's ready to start dating again, and if what she says on her MySpace is any indication, she's ready to find some one "serious", long term.

Now, I know the "easiest", maybe "healthiest", thing to do would be to just walk away, forget about her as best I can, and just never think about it again. But I'm still so curious about us, and I can't see myself "getting over" that so easily. I've been bouncing my topic around on other forums for a while now, but the reason I'm posting here again is because, well... something happened on another forum; in a moment of venting, I made a "mock up" message that I said I wish I could send to her, but probably wasn't a good idea. To my surprise, quite a few users responded that the message wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be, and that I should send it. Skeptical, I took that "mock up" to other forums, and got a decently mixed reaction (about 65/35 in favor of it).

So I decided to test the waters here. Keep in mind, I'm currently not planning to send this message, and if I do work up the courage to eventually, it'll probably get tweaked a bit before I send it off. So here it is, my "rough draft" of the "mock up" message:

"Listen, I've just kinda been beating around the bush here for a long time, now, and I'm tired of doing that. I'm sure you know I had a thing for you back in grade school, and yeah, I'll admit, I'm just a little curious to see if there's still something there; can ya really blame me? I know I've been weird with you here on MySpace, and I know a message like this doesn't exactly prove my sanity, but this whole 'online' thing just makes things more complicated than it needs to be. Bottom line is, I'd really like to see you again, and just take it from there. What do you say?"

... So? My biggest reason to be against sending it, is because of the finality it brings. It's pretty much going all in, "all or nothing", a last ditch effort. But at the same time, it would just be so nice to put everything out there, and get everything off my chest. But I have no idea how she might react to a message like that. :/ Some users have said to "tweak it" a bit and then send it, but they never elaborated, so if you're gonna offer advice that way, please be a bit specific. So I dunno. That's all I came here to post.

[carl1222]

My biggest reason to be against sending it, is because of the finality it brings. It's pretty much going all in, "all or nothing", a last ditch effort.

Don't you need some finality here? You need to know what's going on in the real world, not the fantasy world you have created.

Carl.

[Indestructible]

Heh, yeah, I know, just feels a little intimidating, on one hand. Yanno?

[misombra]

the worst she can do is say no, or not respond. other than that what do you have to lose?

[Indestructible]

Heh, well, to be perfectly honest, you guys can all pretty much disregard most of that last little paragraph (I just left that in because I had copied and pasted this from another forum I posted in, and it slipped my mind to remove it). By now, I've already made up my mind that I'm going to send it within the next few days, but I'm more interested in what you guys (specifically the girls, hence why I'm on this forum) think about the content of the actual message itself. Yanno, like, is it too much? Not enough? Is there some other point I should add? Does anything need to be "tweaked"? etc.

[misombra]

i think you shouldn't think too much about it, have big expectations, or worry about an outcome.

[Bokonon]

Seriously, you are just prolonging your own misery if you don't do this. Why NOT just find out once and for all? You're afraid of the finality of it, but that's not what you should be afraid of. You should be afraid of sulking in the shadows around this girl while your life goes on regardless and waking up and realizing you've wasted years of your energy worrying about this girl and how she feels when you could've just asked.

[Indestructible]

Well, I sent it last night. In a way, I feel almost relieved. Haven't bothered checking my mail box to see if she wrote back yet (but it's probably way too soon, anyway), mostly because, for some reason, I'm nervous about what she might say in the unlikely event that she does write back.