Ex Gf's family question

[Bigboy77]

So me and my gf of 4 years broke up and shes off in another part of the world going to school. (we broke up cause she lost feelings for me) I've cut off all contact with her directly. No more phone calls or emailing.

Her family and my family still hang out every once and awhile
And her family literally loves me,
Would it be a mistake to keep hanging out with her family every week?

It really doesn't bother me at all.. but i do really want her back and don't want to stay in touch with them if it could lower the chance of us being together again. I figured whenever me and her dad go for jogs or they invite me for dinner i could just act really happy as if i don't care and maybe that will get to her somehow through them.. I don't know what do you guys think are some good strategies, and if i should even be hanging out with them at all.

[Bigboy77]

Cliff's notes:
Could it hurt my chances of being with her again if i stay close to her family.

[Pectabyte]

Thats kind of a question only you can answer. I mean you have to figure she will eventually find someone else are you cool with seeing her with him at one of your family hang outs? This could be your opportunity to better yourself since that info will get back to her.

[Bigboy77]

True, i doubt i would see her with someone else since she is living 100 miles away.. the odds of her bringing someone home with her are slim to none but yeah it's a possibility still.

Basically i got 4 months of not seeing her.
She comes to visit in the summer..
I want to somehow revive our feelings then.. and i think her family may be a good mediator between us and may get me a phone call from her.. i dunno?

[vashti]

So me and my gf of 4 years broke up (we broke up cause she lost feelings for me)

Would it be a mistake to keep hanging out with her family every week?

Every week? Yikes! I say yes, it would be a mistake. This girl already told you she doesn't have feelings for you any more. Hanging out with her family reeks of manipulation, IMO.

Sorry hun, but like a bandaid, the pain is over faster if you just rip it off abruptly. Hanging out with her family is only going to prolong your pain in addition to making her resent you.

[Bigboy77]

hmm you think so?

Her family is ALWAYS trying to get me to come over..
they feel really bad about our break up too.

How would this make her resent me?

and how is this manipulation?
I really enjoy her family they are great people and i actually feel better when im around them.

[Bigboy77]

Also i have known these people for 4 years..
They have been so nice to me..
It isn't there fault the way their daughter feels
Need more opinions people

[vashti]

You are hoping for her family to intercede with her on your behalf. That is manipulation, and if I were her, I would be pissed off at ALL of you for not respecting my feelings.

But I suppose I could be wrong. Only time will tell.

[Pectabyte]

Honestly I think there is nothing better you could do for yourself than work on yourself and become this icon to her parents which the info of will trickle down to her. She may not want you back but the next guy sure wont be received as well. I think you need to establish a standard for what she lost. If her parents like you THAT much its because they see something Mrs.Princess can't.

[Bigboy77]

yeah i was thinking along those lines too..
If i can stay in good with her family..
Get over here as much as I can,
And show her i'm back to my old self and no longer that clingy loser i was the last month we were together, just maybe i can pull it off.
I've got 4 months I can't give up on this girl no matter how long it takes.
Patience and persistence will hopefully pay off.

[23mako]

I think you should stop hanging out with her family and you should probably quit hoping you will win her back. She obviously doesn't want to date you. Why would you want to win over a girl that doesn't want you? Go out with friends and meet new girls. One thing I have found is that girls don't date guys because their parents like them. Most girls can't stand when parents pick out or suggest guys for them. They aren't going to go for a guy that their parents pick out.

[23mako]

Also, are you trying to show her that you aren't clingy by clinging to her family?

[doppelgaenger]

If you really want her to come back to you, you should stop hanging out with her family. If they like you so damn much, like you say they do, they'll nag her to death about why she *had* to break up with you. And plus, if she never does, at least you're doing yourself a favor.

[Pectabyte]

yeah i was thinking along those lines too..
If i can stay in good with her family..
Get over here as much as I can,
And show her i'm back to my old self and no longer that clingy loser i was the last month we were together, just maybe i can pull it off.
I've got 4 months I can't give up on this girl no matter how long it takes.
Patience and persistence will hopefully pay off.

Well don't do it in hopes you'll get back with her. If she felt you were clingy and in her stuff to much this won't make her feel that any less. Do it for you.

[Bigboy77]

:S
Yeah...
I'm pretty messed up and guess im going through the denial stage.
Just thought it might work and i want to do whatever i can to get her back and im going No contact with her at the moment.. :S
Just thought if i keep myself fresh in her family's mind then she will for sure hear about me and "out of site out of mind" won't be the case with her.