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Thread: dating a best friend

  1. #1
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    dating a best friend

    so ... i've basically fallen in love with my best friend.
    he loves me deep down, it's just tough.
    we don't want to risk our friendship (i am quite young)
    so is it better not to date and wait for the future ?
    or to date and have the best time of my life with him ?

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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    There is no right answer. It's a matter of luck.... if you are lucky, things will work out if you date him, but most of the time, it just ends badly. Be really careful.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    It would seem to me that your potential partner should also be your best friend. Shouldn't husbands and wives be best friends as well as lovers?
    You have to start some where and if you two really like each other and are good friends then it seems logical the next step would to be to form some sort of physical relationship

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    Quote Originally Posted by roy_delene View Post
    It would seem to me that your potential partner should also be your best friend. Shouldn't husbands and wives be best friends as well as lovers?
    You have to start some where and if you two really like each other and are good friends then it seems logical the next step would to be to form some sort of physical relationship
    I couldn't agree more. I am very lucky that my wife is my best friend. I can't imagine not sharing anything and everything with her. However, as you say that you are young, whether it will last is a tough call. When one is in love, it is very hard to imagine anything that could change, but keep in mind that as one matures, it may lead to different directions in life. The late teen years/early twenties years are huge for maturing, exploring, and deciding on your future, so it's really up to you two to decide how you want it to play out. I went to university with my wife (we knew each other prior to attending) and we had numerous breakups because we wanted to try different things. Luckily for us, after our "adventures" we decided to get back together, but needless to say, I was an emotional wreck everytime we did break up.

    A good buddy of mine dated his best friend and they both lost their virginities to each other, but things didn't work out and they haven't spoken to each other since. They were pretty young at the time (freshman in high school) so they definitely didn't have everything planned out, which was what ultimately drew them apart.

    If you truly do think that you two are perfect for each other, then why not wait a bit longer? Getting too serious when you are still young is tough. If he truly cares for you too, he shouldn't do anything too dramatic that would ruin his chances with you.

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    once you date someone i think they kinda become ur best friend
    If he is your best friend already..I think it could spoil things
    but only you know the answer i guess

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    Quote Originally Posted by roy_delene View Post
    It would seem to me that your potential partner should also be your best friend. Shouldn't husbands and wives be best friends as well as lovers?
    You have to start some where and if you two really like each other and are good friends then it seems logical the next step would to be to form some sort of physical relationship
    I disagree. Yes, the point that my partner should be my best friend is very well understood. But at the same time, there is a reason why a girl has been pegged into being my best friend and not my girlfriend.

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    Start small. Perhaps just go to the cinemas or a restaurant to see if things work out. If they don't, staying friends will be rather easy as you have not actually got into a relationship. If they do, then a relationship could be possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by roy_delene View Post
    It would seem to me that your potential partner should also be your best friend. Shouldn't husbands and wives be best friends as well as lovers?
    You have to start some where and if you two really like each other and are good friends then it seems logical the next step would to be to form some sort of physical relationship
    The movie "UP!" kinda describes the perfect relationship during its first 10 minutes. I was unfortunately not able to be best friends with my ex-wife before we were married. We never had that connection.
    So I made a conscious decision to make sure my next love would also be my best friend. I am 35 years old. I found my "best friend" 9 months ago. She's 38. We went to the Anime Expo together 2 weeks ago.
    We are such good buddies. When I make love to her, I see eternity in her eyes. She is the one I plan to marry some day....if I am lucky enough.

    Be careful if you two are too young. People change A LOT from their early 20s to mid-30s. You are taking about surviving long-term compatibility despite the enormous change in body and mind during those years.
    That's why people who marry really young usually get divorced. I really suggest being best friends for years before considering a change in direction. People change.

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