Is it too late?

[JLynn06]

I've been with this guy for just about 7 years now, minus about 6 months. We've lived together most of this time. I was very independant when we started out, he clung to me. He didnt have friends, didnt have anything else going on so he didn't like me going out and doing stuff. Over the years I inverted and changed so drastically I hardly know myself.

I still love him despite it all, but now he finally has friends, hes finding a life outside of our relationship. I'm jealous and scared and I know I'm being stupid. I keep clinging when I just need to let him go. He pulled the classic line "I love you but I'm not in love with you" yesterday. So I told him he needed to go stay with his friends for a while until he could figure out what he needs.

Over the last week, every time we've seen each other (which hasnt been much) we either argue or have serious talks about our relationship. Hes trying to be more open than he usually is, hes never been good at expressing himself. He keeps telling me he doesn't want to date other people and that he still wants me, but then he says he isnt in love with me any more and he doesn't see a future. He says he feels trapped, without options and confused about everything.

We were engaged, but after a talk on Friday we agreed that with him feeling this way marriage wasn't a possibility. I told him I still love him and my answer hadn't changed but that I was willing to wait until he was ready.

The thing is, we're in a tight financial situation. Part of me is scared that he's just holding onto me until he can figure out how to get away. I'll be fine financially if he does leave, I make more money and pay for just about everything as it is, but I know he wont...

I know I need to stop clinging and forcing myself on him. At first he said all he needed was space but it scared me so bad. Should I stop holding onto the hope that he'll actually try to work through our problems with me?

[pisces25]

It sounds to me from his point of view the relationship as run its course. I know the situation must seem entirely unfair to you and frustrating in the sense you helped him become who he is today and now it seems he has his own life he doesn't need you anymore. Honestly speaking there is not a lot that can be done about that. All I can recommend is some time apart with NC or MC so you can both sort your feelings out. He says he doesn't want to date others and wants you but in the next breath says he doesn't love you. Only time apart will help him decide this, with you not around to influence his decision. Don't try and guess what he is thinking and feeling as these thoughts will drive you crazy. I am sorry to hear what you are going through I know it is extremely difficult. All I can recommend is keep busy, talk with your friends and give him space. Either way the outcome will become evident soon enough.