Need advice, He's about to move just as things got started.

[magnolia6548]

I'll try to make this as concise as possible and elaborate on any questions that might be asked.

I am 25, he is 33 and we have known each other for 2 years through an MBA class of mine. He has been in the US for the past 8 years (school and coaching). We have been friends and had "friend dates" on numerous occasions throughout the last 2 years as well as several mutual friends. There has always been some sort of attraction there on both of our parts but due to my family having many exchange students when I was younger I saw the different struggles that can occur due to cultural differences and such I didn't see him as anything more than friends. (basically i put up a wall even if there was attraction). Plus I was a little concerned about the age (although that was not as big of an issue) Through those 2 years there were several times he asked me out on dates but I'd only agree to the ones that were in a more relaxed environment and that were things 'friends would do'. Through these friend dates we talked in great detail about love, life, beliefs, culture, etc.

We have a lot in common and both seem to like oneanother but never really pursued it. I have always been the type to act with my head and not with my heart. So now he has just over 1 week left in the US before he goes home (most likely for good) and he asks me if I want to go skiing with him. I agree to go and it ends up being just the two of us. We have a great time and everything went great, converation was great, we laughed, we sang, we had an amazing time. The chemistry was pumping and so once we got back neither of us were really ready to part so we decided to watch a movie. Before the movie starts out of no where he plants a big one right on me....and although i was sort of shocked, it felt SOOO RIGHT! So we watched the movie as he held my hand and rubbed my head, right after the movie I was about to head out and of course there was another kiss, which lead to one of the hottest make out sessions I've ever had...everything felt so right about it, there was no awkwardness or anything...

So the next day (sat) he said one of his friends and his boss/friend's kids wanted to go skiing on sunday and asked if I wanted to join . I did and we had another great time. This is when I realized that I really think I like him and on multiple levels and that although my intentions the previous night were "what do i have to lose, I don't want to look back and think what if, or was there something there" Now I'm in a situation where I at first wanted things to be friends, but now I actually want more.

So he indicated that he intends to spend his next 5 evenings here doing something with me and he has already made plans for us for friday and saturday nights.....and I couldn't be happier but I'm so afraid that this is all just going to cause more hurt and pain when he leaves. If it was not hard enough to see a good friend leave, it will only be harder too see a great friend and lover leave. My heart says to see him and go for it and see where it will go even if that means a LDR, but my head says that I should distance myself. I truly feel that he could be the one for me. At times I felt this even before the kiss but "didn't allow myself to think that it was even an option" I am trying to read into things as little as possible but it's hard to not look at the fact that we use to hang out once here and once there and now he is wanting to spend all of his remaining time with me when I am sure there are tons of people he should be spending it with. I'm very flattered but just don't know where to go from here. Oh and on top of that I got pretty sick on Monday and ended up getting a cold sore, so he know's that we can't even kiss...yet he is still putting in all this effort, and it's pretty clear that he really likes me for me.

We haven't really talked about, "whats next" and I'm sure it will come up in the next few days, but I'm not sure what the right course is to take. Do you try the LDR? Do you back off now? Was this a mistake? Do you think this could ever really work? Anyone have a similar experience, what did you do and how did it turn out? What should I expect? Do you think the culture and/or age will be a problem or is a red flag of some sorts?

[magnolia6548]

Oh I think I left out that he is from Brazil.

[xxazurexx]

I truly feel that he could be the one for me....

All well and good and if he's feeling the same. But just because you are feeling that way, doesn't mean he is.

Despite saying, 'I truly think he's the one for me', you have no clue as to how this guy is feeling about you or what he wants next and because he hasn't discussed with you, what happens next. You have it all planned out....and this guy isn't even aware of your plans for him, lmfao.

Casual aquaintances, more or less for 2 years, then ONE date where you are alone together....and suddenly you are thinking 'long term' and that he may want it too.

He may just want to spend time with you, not because he's thinking 'forever after' with you, but because he's having fun before he heads off into the horizon, back to his homeland. He may be thinking that the next thing on the menu will be 'hot' SEX and because of the 'hot' makeout session between you that took place last time you were together.

I'd wait and see until he mentions what he may want afterwards, rather than be making plans for what you want.

If you afraid to end up hurt and because you might not get nothing more than you want....don't even go there!

Oh and don't have sex thinking it will lure him into 'happy ever after' ....cuz it won't...

[xxazurexx]

Oh and Brazilian guys from what I've heard, on the whole are notorious players....

[SelflessnHumble]

Based on your posts: your emotions are doing all the talking, not your reason, not your woman's intuition...
So, in this case I'd say GO FOR IT! No one can make you see what is readily in front of your eyes:

He is going away.
He will (not if but when) meet someone knew, someone else. Physicality is a requisite for any serious/loving relationship.
In fact this same physicality is the VERY basis for YOU "feeling" as much for him as you do! See that?

Of course he is putting all this effort, because you're the only one (for the time being)
If I were you, I'd do whatever you feel is right. BUT: do not give all of yourself to just one person YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!

See past the infatuation and just be cautious.

[magnolia6548]

I guess I didn't make some things clear.

*If anything he has been the one that has let me know his feelings for me more so than I have for him.

*So far I have nothing planned, out....when we first kissed I only went with it because 1) it felt right and 2) I didn't want him leaving thinking and me looking back thinking "what if" 3) I figured since he was leaving anyway it would be just for fun

*I'm not thinking "forever" right now, just that if the conversation comes up then whether or not we should try to continue something...if the conversation does not come up then I can take it as we are not meant for anything more.... what I meant as him being "the one" is that he doesn't meet any of my "deal-beakers" other than the fact he is origionally from another culture , however being here for 8 years he has really grasped on to our culture so the difference is not as durastic as I thought it would be.

I just don't know whether to end it now, sunday, or see if it goes farther than sunday.

* We have had many dates that were just the two of us but I always made them out to be "friend dates" meaning no physical contact. I'd say we have hung out and gone places the two of us at least 15 or more times and usually for hours at a time and many times had very personal convesation. On top of that we have done many things together as groups as well.

He has asked me numerous times on "real dates" but I always declined due to the fact that he was from Brazil, In hindsight I probably should have gone on a few of those dates earlier so that all this would not be coming about the week before he leaves.

*If anything the two of us had already somewhat built an emotional relationship through our friendship but never acted upon the physical side of anything even though attraction was there.

Thanks for your input, I think it sort of helped me get out of the "idea" of things. I'm usually EXTREMELY level headed. Thanks for bringing out another perspective and putting me closer back on par with reality.

[SelflessnHumble]

Men in general happily pursue what they can't have: but *want* <----This is no exception.
The goal of most men is: to get that vagina...Which involves, courting, relationship building, interest/and pursuit.

2nd: Feelings and emotions LIE (e.g; the heart) Never follow your heart: lead it instead.
Having sex feels right too. It doesn't mean it will be a meaningful and everlasting symbol of any relationship: it is an expression.

If you feelings now are "just for fun" I see no reason to stop seeing him no matter the distance. Does he know he's just a fun past time?

Last, your welcome.
Just don't "fall" for someone who is miles away and with one you don't even know, or have a commitment with...
If you don't mind the experience (and can control your emotions so you don't wind up here sad and alone/devistated) GO FOR IT!

New experiences are always good, even if they turn out bad!
Remember: the applied knowledge gained through experience = your personal development and growth will yield substantial enlightenment.