Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Amena]

Hello boys!

I need male help in order to know how I should respond to my Squirrel, please!
Our relationship is atypical and has lasted for over 6 years.
I am insecure and jealous; last Friday I made jealous comments because he was out for supper and when I called I heard only a female voice; during my call he also spoke to me in a way not to raise suspicions (he’s done that near me when he receives calls), or at least that’s how I interpreted it. He also started saying that he couldn’t hear me, and this does happen with cellular phones, but…Then I sent him a written message saying that I only heard female voices and that it sounded like he spoke to me in a way not to raise suspicions…it was 10PM.
At midnight he called both my phones, but I was almost asleep & upset, so I didn’t answer him…I didn’t call the next day either & neither did he…after 3 days of not hearing from him I emailed (he never answered back) him & phoned (1 minute conversation – I said bye first) to ask if he was ok because I was worried.
Even though I’m jealous of his women friends I don’t make scenes, I simply verbalize it to him, but not in the most mature way.
So last night – 5 days later, I get his email with flowers wishing me a good night; I suspect he’s getting ready for the visit…
I’m tempted to tell him that I’m offended that he cut off the communication lines (he’s been doing this for a long time now, each time that I let my green cells speak out loud) and that I won’t see him until I’m ready to do so…I still like him and am not ready to end the relationship…
What do you boys suggest and what do you think about what I want to tell him?
Thanks a million,
Green celled woman

[Primo]

Sounds like you two don't communicate very well to begin with. You're jealous because he's being vague when he's around other women. Unless there's more to your jealousy, he should just be more straightforward as to what he's doing.

It's kinda cute that you call him your Squirrel though

[lilly1185]

Women have an inane sense of intuition. Sometimes it's hard separating that from plain old jealousy.

This is a hard call to make- please describe "atypical relationship", and give examples of "ways he speaks to you without raising suspicion".
Is he affectionate or caring out in public?

One thing that raises alarms for me is he didn't call you. Then again, I don't know your relationship.
Details, please!

[Amena]

I appreciate the feedback, but don’t really want to get into the type of relationship we have because it works for me; the only problem is that I can’t handle my insecurities when I think he’s with other women, even if it’s only socially.
At this point I’d like to hold back and not communicate with him, since he cut off the communication lines…he’s been doing this for a while whenever I lament about other women.
I feel that he’s treating me like a misbehaved child and it’s starting to affect how I feel about him…I want to be strong and let him see that I’ll do ok without him; a young male friend suggested that I do this and not contact him, since I’m usually the one who initiates communication after his punishment session.
Also, I’m middle aged, live in Portugal, where the mentalities are quite different, and from what I see around me very few people find a completely satisfying relationship, therefore I’m not even interested in getting involved with a new partner…
So, I just wanted men’s opinions about the best way to deal with a punishing communication cutter! I usually send sermon-like emails after he does this to me.
Thank you all.

[girl68]

you are behaving very passive agressively.

[girl68]

Even though I’m jealous of his women friends I don’t make scenes, I simply verbalize it to him, but not in the most mature way.

Dunno about anyone else but being immature about that and expressing it as such seems like a "scene" to me.

[lilly1185]

I appreciate the feedback, but don’t really want to get into the type of relationship we have because it works for me; the only problem is that I can’t handle my insecurities when I think he’s with other women, even if it’s only socially.
At this point I’d like to hold back and not communicate with him, since he cut off the communication lines…he’s been doing this for a while whenever I lament about other women.
I feel that he’s treating me like a misbehaved child and it’s starting to affect how I feel about him…I want to be strong and let him see that I’ll do ok without him; a young male friend suggested that I do this and not contact him, since I’m usually the one who initiates communication after his punishment session.
Also, I’m middle aged, live in Portugal, where the mentalities are quite different, and from what I see around me very few people find a completely satisfying relationship, therefore I’m not even interested in getting involved with a new partner…
So, I just wanted men’s opinions about the best way to deal with a punishing communication cutter! I usually send sermon-like emails after he does this to me.
Thank you all.

Sounds like a friends-with-benefits situation.
It also sounds like you can't handle it and either need to be alone or with someone who isn't chicken for commitment.

Another thing women fail to realise is the importance of another woman's perspective. They think because they're having a "man" problem it should only be answered by a man. While I am not of the male gender, I AM able to think logically and see a situation for what it is.

And this is not a healthy situation.
You can't punish anyone who is unconcerned with the situation. It is, as girl68 mentioned, passive aggressive.
Get out now, or you'll regret it later.

[Amena]

Dunno about anyone else but being immature about that and expressing it as such seems like a "scene" to me.

Thanks for the feedback! Well, I always thought that making a scene meant yelling, screaming, thrashing about...I usually tell him that it bothers me when he’s surrounded by other women.

[Amena]

I've had other women's perspectives, but I wanted to see it from a male point of view! Thanks

[girl68]

Thanks for the feedback! Well, I always thought that making a scene meant yelling, screaming, thrashing about...I usually tell him that it bothers me when he’s surrounded by other women.

I see, but you said that you don't say it very maturley.

[Amena]

By that I meant that I may sound whiny..., for example, “Squirrel, I only hear female voices…”

[Amena]

Hello Primo!
Thanks for the comment...would you like to be called squirrel by your partner?
My squirrel is small, has a beard and eats like a squirrel...still not communicating!

[Primo]

Well, maybe not squirrel specifically but it sounds really sweet and intimate. I do love pet names though and when I've been involved in LTR's our real names tend to disappear pretty quickly unless we're around others. Even then the pet one's slip out in places like the grocery store

[Amena]

Sounds like a friends-with-benefits situation.
It also sounds like you can't handle it and either need to be alone or with someone who isn't chicken for commitment.

Another thing women fail to realise is the importance of another woman's perspective. They think because they're having a "man" problem it should only be answered by a man. While I am not of the male gender, I AM able to think logically and see a situation for what it is.

And this is not a healthy situation.
You can't punish anyone who is unconcerned with the situation. It is, as girl68 mentioned, passive aggressive.
Get out now, or you'll regret it later.

I've been accused of punishing, been called passive agressive...I'm merely insecure & jealous when he's around other women! He's the one who punishes me by cutting the communication...I was simply asking how I should respond to his email that he sent after 5 days of not talking to me.
Thanks

[Primo]

Amena, it's obvious squirrel values your time together, you mean something to him because he's trying to make nice to you, even when he knowingly avoids you and treats you poorly. If you're asking how you should respond to his email with flowers, I would say don't.

He'll still come see you and maybe he'll start to sweat it a little bit and place more value on your relationship if you don't respond and keep busy. I think you're afraid that he won't contact you if you don't accept his apologies and make nice...but he will. Make him work for his 'supper' for once