Back With Boyfriend After Breakup, He Cares But Doesn't Love

[kelp18]

So, I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we're both in our second year of college. The thing is, We broke up about three months ago for about five weeks. He "fell out of love" because I was clingy, relied on him for happiness, was too concerned about the future which freaked him out at our age, and the relationship was too time consuming.

While we were broken up, I changed my outlooks on life and bettered myself not necessarily him, although that was a part of it, but for myself. I didn't worry so much, I learned how to make myself happy, and I started living in the moment. After meeting up a month later to talk about things, we ended up kissing and got back together a couple weeks after that because he realized how much he missed me and saw that I had changed positively.

Since we got back together, things have mostly been great! When we see each other, which is every week and a half or so since we are both full time students and working part time, we have lots of fun and it finally feels like the spark is back. We're both really busy so we don't spend as much time as we should together to bond, but he has mentioned more than a few times some plans for next summer, so maybe he's thinking long-term again. For the majority of our our relationship, we were really in love with each other. I loved him because he makes me laugh and takes me out of my comfort zone and introduces me to new adventures and activities. He loved me our similarities and my silliness, and we never fought. Today, after being back together for nearly two months and thinking about it long and hard, I decided that I really still love him but it's not so naive anymore. Now it's unconditional.

The problem I'm asking about is, I told him I love him today. I knew that he didn't feel that way right now, otherwise he would have told me. When I told him, he gave me a long hug and gave me kisses on the forehead. He felt bad he couldn't say it too but didn't want to lie. I understand that you can't force feelings and I'm still happy to be with him right now. I know I deserve to be loved and I shouldn't stick around hoping that he will develop those feelings again, but what could I do that might help deepen his feelings? He thinks I'm a wonderful person, and we lost out "click" before. Now, we're having a great time and I think he's worried about getting too serious since it'd be hard on us when we go to college and intimacy can be messy.

[Starnique]

How did he fall out of love so fast? Hmmm.

[Rowen]

How did he fall out of love so fast? Hmmm.

Actually, I think a better question might be, "How did he fall out of love at all?" At least in my opinion, you don't just fall out of love...

[michelle23]

Hes going to dump you again. Maybe not tomorrow or in a week, even a month but he will.. some girl at college will grab his attention, he will say "ill dump kelp, f**k this other girl then say sorry to kelp and she will take me back again-no questions asked"

Your being really naive OP. Do you not think you deserve better?

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[Ugly_Swan]

If it's already been this many years and there's no love from him in sight....and you're more emotionally invested and so vulnerable....I'd say dump him. You've made a positive change, therefore can afford/deserve someone great. So why not just start anew with someone else with whom you don't have that looming memory of a breakup?

This guy doesn't seem serious about you anymore--you wasted all these years and all you got was a breakup from him.

Also--there's a blog (therulesrevisited.com) that talks about how a breakup really messes up a relationship even if you get finite "love conquers all" sentiment--he broke it. So just dump him. It's a tarnished relationship.