Dont know what to do!

[Ridinonair02]

Hello everyone,

Well my story will be short and simple. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and we have known each other for a long time. We are having a great relationship but just recently she told me that she has to break up with me because of her parents. I was devastated and hurt, but we still talk everyday. We both love each other so much and she wants to be with me but she is scared to confront her parents. I tried to have a conversation with her dad but really it didnt really go to well. He basically said i decided my daughters future. We are both from the same religion, the only problem he is having is that I have been divorced. My girl is still around and we talk all the time like we are going out with each other so im still fullfilling her heart. Should I stop talking to her and show her what she is missing? This way she will fight for me? Should i still talk to her? Should I just let her go?

I hope you all can help me on this, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your help.

[smackie9]

I'm confused here....how old are you two? If she is an adult, she can do whatever she wants with or without consent of her parents.

[smackie9]

I am familiar with this type of thing. My friend's mom was dumped by her BF because she was divorced. His parents forced him to end the relationship...they were in their 40's believe it or not. I guess they were ready to write him out of the will....money I think is the motivation for situations like these.

[Darren Taylor]

If she has to end it because of her parents, you can't do anything about it. As much as it sucks, she is likely manipulated and controlled by them and won't go against them.

[Ridinonair02]

I am 28 and she is 26 so age here is not the issue. I was actually talking to her today and she said that I should dissappear and that way she can get some courage and see what she is really missing. good idea or not???

[reeba]

Parents want what they believe is best for their children. And if they are dead set against you, you better just 'disappear' so their daughter can get on with her life. You are looking at alot of misery of the parents don't like you. Because eventually your gf will resent you for causing this rift also. Your parents are yours for life, and if they are still this involved in her life at the age of 26 they aren't going to just go away.

I really don't see divorce as too much baggage. It is so prevalent these days. However, for me it depends on the circumstances the divorce happenned. And also (and here is the big one for me) if there are children involved.

If her parents are old school (like my parents) they may look at it as you took a vow, likely in a church, and you then decided you didn't have to stick to that vow. You better have a darn good reason for not sticking to that vow, because all relationships go through rough patches and there are differences. If you couldn't get through it with wife #1, then why would their daughter be given any nore consideration?

[smackie9]

If it were my parents I would tell them to go f uck themselves. But hey that's me....I'm my own person.

[applejuice786]

You shouldn't try and force yourself on her, give her room to breath, leave her alone for a few weeks and if she calls you first then that's a good sign but if not move on!!! You've only been dating for 6 months quit before she hurts you more. And do you really want her parents to disown her, and would any daughter want to be disowned by her father. Think about her, she is telling you what she wants but she isn't saying it blatantly. She is being as nice as possible, as not to hurt you. In the end, I would definitely leave any person that my parents didn't approve of. I know its hard to hear but you need to move on.

[Bonfire]

If a girl breaks up with me because her parents wants her to, then I don't want her either.

[eonbar]

i really find that so difficult to comprehend. i think its nothing short of ridiculous, however theres nothing you can do about it. if i was getting close to my 30's then i wouldn't want to be with a woman who was still treated like a child. hypothetically if you did stay together what next? are they gonna be picking out the curtains in your house, and what washing machine you should buy. being with someone who not only has controlling parents but also lets themselves be subject to it is a person i couldn't be around.

cut lose, hold tight and give her a chance. if she comes after you prepare yourself for a long drawn out battle with brick-wall-parents

[smackie9]

Ya I agree....there's a level of immaturity here that could cause issues in your relationship down the road.....I don't know you but is she so subservient to you that you can't imagine ever being with a strong mature woman?

[Ridinonair02]

Thank you all for the help, I really do appreciate it. I have learned a lot in the past and these comments helped me that I actually let her go. The problem is she is calling me all the time. Should I just ignore her and then she can finally realize what she is really missing in her life? The only problem is that she doesnt want to hurt her parents and I just said ok thats fine let your father pick a guy for you and thats it. So we will see what happens.

[eonbar]

good response. go with it. make sure she understand completely you reasons for separating, and although you can empathize with not wanting to hurt her parents, you just cant be with someone who is ruled by them.

make sure she knows your feelings FULLY thou, and if you want to give her the opportunity to come back under the precondition that its you two together not being ruled by her parents then again, make sure she knows this is a possibility....

[zain654321]

First of all i am very much sorry to hear that. According to me it will be hard for both of two to wash out all the feelings and time which you passed together. Love cant be forgotten. You must have to talk to her father and try to convince him that we both cant live happily without each other. try to talk him with full confidence. I think if he loves to his daughter he will never want to see his daughter in sorrow. Sum up your courage and go to her father.