Cheating boyfriend

[babyfox]

Hello. Like almost any other long term relationship (we have been dating for almost 4 years), mine with my boyfriend is going bad. My boyfriend is searching for new excitement on dating websites and went as far as exchanging numbers with the girls on the dating websites. I caught him at least 4 times within the past summer to this past Sunday and every time he promised that he would stop and apologized to me so (what I thought) sincerely. I think it has become an addiction for him. Now, I know a LOT of you will say "leave him nao!" but honestly, I don't think relationships are that simple. I am more forgiving than the average person and I can understand why he would feel the need to venture out of our relationship for some "fun". As far as I have checked, he hasn't met with anyone and the conversations always last about 4-5 texts. He has considered meeting a few girls but it never got that far. I know.. maybe if this addiction progresses it will eventually lead him to actually meeting these women so this is what gets me in a bind.
Besides his cheating, we are very close. We know EVERYTHING about each other and there's nothing that we don't share (even passwords). He's eager to buy me anything I want and he's always supporting my goals and efforts. Among the many men that I have dated, I really feel like he is a winner (besides the cheating).
When I discuss marriage or our future, he tells me honestly that he doesn't know yet. He told me that he's not thinking about marriage right now. Sometimes he will play along when I talk about what pets we should get when we get married and he will be like "no, rabbits smell." or "yeah I think cats would be good."
Starting last year, however, I did notice that he does call me a lot less and we do talk a lot less now but that is easily justifiable as he is working in a company now and he's one of those people that care about his image around others. He doesn't want to show that he's slacking off during work. When he does get home, he does talk to me quite a lot and we do have the occasional phone calls. We see each other every Saturday and Sundays and we still laugh and play online games together.
Out of the men that I have dated so far, I have never loved anyone as much as this asshole and honestly, even if he cheated on me I love him to bits. I just don't know what to do anymore. I searched around the internet for other peoples' experiences and everyone just left their relationships. If anyone out there has any advice for me, please share. I'm willing to answer any questions if anyone has any..thank you if you read this far

[Wakeup]

Welcome to a shit storm that is coming your way from Michelle. lmfao.

[babyfox]

Welcome to a shit storm that is coming your way from Michelle. lmfao.

I'm not sure what you're implying but if you're talking about my relationship, then yes I have bawled tears that could flood the earth.

[Maple1714]

I'm not sure what you're implying but if you're talking about my relationship, then yes I have bawled tears that could flood the earth.

Wakeup is referring to another poster on here named Michelle. She will be all over your ass for staying with a man like this.

How long have you been dating? You say a long time, but how long exactly? You also say that this whole situation makes you upset & cry...so it's obviously not making you feel good so why settle for this?

[babyfox]

Wakeup is referring to another poster on here named Michelle. She will be all over your ass for staying with a man like this.

How long have you been dating? You say a long time, but how long exactly? You also say that this whole situation makes you upset & cry...so it's obviously not making you feel good so why settle for this?

We have been dating for almost 4 years now .. Thanks for the warning in advance! I don't feel good when he cheats but I have a good time most of the time. He's a capable man (I'm 21 and he's 24) and I feel protected around him. I really wish that I can convince him to see me seriously if it is at all possible.

[Maple1714]

We have been dating for almost 4 years now .. Thanks for the warning in advance! I don't feel good when he cheats but I have a good time most of the time. He's a capable man (I'm 21 and he's 24) and I feel protected around him. I really wish that I can convince him to see me seriously if it is at all possible.

It's time to move on. For a lot of reasons....

You are SO young. You need to be out there dating other people. Why are you OK with being someone's weekend girlfriend? He is probably physically cheating with these other girls too...come on he is 24yrs old and you only see him 2 days a week! He talks to other girls on dating sites? Dating sites are weird and filled with a lot of people just looking for sex. You are 21 yrs old and have been with him for 4yrs...so who are all these other guys mention you've dated? When did you start dating at the age of 12?

Troll?

[Starnique]

I'm not sure what you're implying but if you're talking about my relationship, then yes I have bawled tears that could flood the earth.

Hahahaha...wow. Funny misinterpretation.

[Starnique]

Anyway, you're starting to see the real him. They are alwats nice and attentive at first. You really just need to communicate with him and let him know what you want. Don't waste your time because love is many things but it's never unsure, so you need to just look at the relationship, talk to see what's going on with him and it's been 4 years, later for games. If y'all are going to move fwd now is the time. You're not going to sit around and be played. Basically it's all or nothing. You're young so who's to say he's even the one. I personally wouldnt waste my time but I know its easier said then done.

Btw rabbits are disgusting and creepy. They look scary. I have a phobia of them. Seriously. I cant even look at them on tv.

[babyfox]

It's time to move on. For a lot of reasons....

You are SO young. You need to be out there dating other people. Why are you OK with being someone's weekend girlfriend? He is probably physically cheating with these other girls too...come on he is 24yrs old and you only see him 2 days a week! He talks to other girls on dating sites? Dating sites are weird and filled with a lot of people just looking for sex. You are 21 yrs old and have been with him for 4yrs...so who are all these other guys mention you've dated? When did you start dating at the age of 12?

Troll?

Actually I have started dating at 14 and no I am not a troll ^^;; I have read the texts (that's how I caught him) and they were nowhere near sexual. He works on weekdays from 8-5 PM and he is studying for licenses AND he has to help with his parents' work. I know these are not a lie because his mom always calls to help with work and I do go to see him at the study hall occasionally.

[babyfox]

Anyway, you're starting to see the real him. They are alwats nice and attentive at first. You really just need to communicate with him and let him know what you want. Don't waste your time because love is many things but it's never unsure, so you need to just look at the relationship, talk to see what's going on with him and it's been 4 years, later for games. If y'all are going to move fwd now is the time. You're not going to sit around and be played. Basically it's all or nothing. You're young so who's to say he's even the one. I personally wouldnt waste my time but I know its easier said then done.

Btw rabbits are disgusting and creepy. They look scary. I have a phobia of them. Seriously. I cant even look at them on tv.

I love rabbits! That's all a personal opinion, though. I agree with you about change, though and that's why I came to this forum searching for advice. I really belive that he is the one and all I need to do is do something about it to move on positively.

[fraser]

hmm, so I totally get you love him - like me with my gf I want nothing more than to stick my head in the sand, pretend it didn't happen and go back to how life was last week because (like your relationship I think?) our relationship aside from this is good, great....what stands out for me is the amount of times this has happened...if you want my honest advice it would be chuck him or come down like a ton of bricks - I think maybe theres no real consequences to his actions so he just keeps pushing the line because nothing ever happens - he may we'll push even further, meet girls etc to test your limits - this is something my brother would do...the only girls who he's ever stayed faithful too are the ones who just wont take his b*******, the ones he knows would walk away.
Dunno, that's my take - hope it works out well for you and thanks for answering mine.

[babyfox]

hmm, so I totally get you love him - like me with my gf I want nothing more than to stick my head in the sand, pretend it didn't happen and go back to how life was last week because (like your relationship I think?) our relationship aside from this is good, great....what stands out for me is the amount of times this has happened...if you want my honest advice it would be chuck him or come down like a ton of bricks - I think maybe theres no real consequences to his actions so he just keeps pushing the line because nothing ever happens - he may we'll push even further, meet girls etc to test your limits - this is something my brother would do...the only girls who he's ever stayed faithful too are the ones who just wont take his b*******, the ones he knows would walk away.
Dunno, that's my take - hope it works out well for you and thanks for answering mine.

Thanks a lot for stopping by! I can tell you are a really nice guy from your words and yes, I have a lot of friends that are like your brother, too. I have considered breaking up with him to see where it will go but I'm not much of a "tester" so it is a little hard for me. However I do think that this relationship requires a drastic shock so maybe I can stimulate him to think about what we have and whether he really wants it or not. If he doesn't come back, then it wasn't worth it. Thanks so much for the advice. I really appreciate it ^_^

[Starnique]

Yeah, I learned the hard way with my Ex and a guy will only do what you let him do. They'll take your kindness for weakness and they will test you just to see how far they can go and what you will tolerate. Its crazy because guys will mistreat the good girls but start treating him like a piece of shit and watch him come chasing behind you, all in your face.

He may care but don't let him get over on you. Don't accept less then what you want or need or deserve. It's better to stop it before it starts. Trust me.

[Stickleback]

I don't think relationships are that simple.

The thing is, relationships are that simple.

It's very easy. If what he is doing is making you feel uncomfortable, and you tell him this, and he continues to do it, then he doesn't respect you. And if the person you are with doesn't respect you, or want to do everything they can to make you happy, then what's the point?

[fraser]

I can tell you are a really nice guy from your words

Thanks

I have considered breaking up with him to see where it will go but I'm not much of a "tester" so it is a little hard for me. However I do think that this relationship requires a drastic shock so maybe I can stimulate him to think about what we have and whether he really wants it or not. If he doesn't come back, then it wasn't worth it.

I think your totally right - if he values your relationship to the level that he should then he'll fight for you. And at least you'll get your answer one way or another, you'll know where you stand.