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Thread: Hey ladies, Need a bit of help.

  1. #1
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    May 2009
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    Hey ladies, Need a bit of help.

    Alright,

    Well I have been dating this girl for about 8 months (she is 15 years old) I am 17. This is her first relationship, while I have had many relationships in the past. Anyways.. she is naturally a flirty, outgoing girl and loves attention from guys. A few times this has gotten me angry or jealous? I talked to her about flirting and she has relatively stopped, few incidents here and there.. nothing enough to make me tick.

    First Questionable incident:

    We were in her mothers truck and I was talking to her about my prom and how none of my friends are going to it and isntead going to a Club. I told her I don't think I will be going as its not fair for her to be worrying. She said "just go and don't tell me what you do." Of course I was like.. hmm?? and I told her again, At clubs you dont dance with your boys/girls you dance sexually with other chicks and for that reason I wouldn't be going. Then she said "I would of gone if I was in your shoes."

    Second Questionable incident:

    One of my girlfriends cousins brought my girlfriend along late at night in a car ride with other dudes (his friends). I was at a Banquet at this time usually I hangout with her constantly. I know her cousin and am friends with him so I trusted him on keeping an eye out on her. I do trust her.. but sometimes its nice knowing you have other eyes. Anywhoo.. back on topic; One of her cousins friends "Charlie" (who has his driving licence and a car) met my girlfriend as he was the one driving. After this incident my girlfriend constantly text's him when we are together. It really pisses me off when we are making out and she stops just to write a text message. I have talked to her about this and what she thinks of Charlie and she said she will work on the texting and she "doesn't know what I am talking about with the dude."

    Yesterday I was at a party and Charlie was invited.. my and my girlfriend were on the couch cozy watching a movie and Charlie was at the other side of the room minding his own business. Everything was cool, then we all went outside and threw the football around a bit. My girlfriend seemed to not be able to throw the ball to me but was constantly capable of throwing Charlie the ball (No biggy, not worried). But then we went back inside and to the basement my girlfriend suddenly disapeared and so did Charlie. I expected her to come back soon and just chilled in the corner of the basment for like 20minutes. Eventually I got tired of waiting and went upstairs and found my girlfriend and Charlie drinking these home made tequila's. I thought this was a little odd as my girlfriend hardly gave me any attention and was off talking with other dudes. This past month she hasn't been as "kissy kissy" as she usually is/was. I even took her to a movie "Ghost of girlfriends past" and we didn't kiss once through it.. usually we would be all over each other.

    Third Questionable Incident:

    Okay, well my girlfriend is EVERYTHING to me.. shes beautiful, nice, womanly, kind, sharing, confident etc.. but she IS two years younger and this is her first relationship. This makes her not amune to what is respectable and what is not in a relationship. She has also told me she only knows what "my love" feels like and no other guys. She told me that "she can't see being with me forever" and that "she is looking for a first relationship while I am looking for a last." Which is true.. I don't know how to play all this out?


    Am I just being jealous? Too dull headed? Or what is ..up?
    Last edited by 8packChris; 03-05-09 at 10:33 PM. Reason: Not enough info stated

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by 8packChris View Post
    "she can't see being with me forever" and that "she is looking for a first relationship while I am looking for a last."
    There's your answer. She admitted to not being serious (and rightly so - she's 15). If you want something more committed, you're going to have to look elsewhere.

  3. #3
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    You know this is going nowhere.. so why are you continuing it?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spring Haze View Post
    There's your answer. She admitted to not being serious (and rightly so - she's 15). If you want something more committed, you're going to have to look elsewhere.
    I agree. Sorry, dude.

  5. #5
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    Okay Chris.. I'm kind of in the same position... and I'm actually dating also.. a 15 y/o and I'm her first boyfriend.. like you said, everything was great until a good chunk of months have passed and things changed well....

    here are some resolutions i would consider

    1)Accept it for the pain you feel is worth loving her for.
    2)Move on, she clearly doesn't deserve you
    3)Try harder and harder and harder for her to realize your the man of her dreams...

    to be honest with you.. for my current relationship... I think i'll suffer for being able to love my girlfriend...
    "In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
    -- Mignon McLaughlin

  6. #6
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    ^ You're reading through the signs that the relationship is a failure in the first place. If you're willing to take the risk, despite of knowing that you'll get hurt in the end - I salute you then! You must be really in love to do such a heroic act, and any girl would be flattered except HER. It's a one way love, but at least you have experienced how it is to be really in love.
    Good luck!

  7. #7
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    My girlfriend has recently come around, actually quite a lot.

    I texted her " I don't like how you flirt cause it hurts etc.. and that I would like her to tell me where she is going with "guy friends". "

    This was her reply;

    "Oh my god Chris I don't flirt intentionally its just how i try to b nice to ppl. im with u cuz i love u and ur the best thing that has ever happened to me. I trust u completely and i do not have anywhere close to that level of trust in anyone else. I have been stabbed in the back a few times before and you have taught me to trust again. "

    I am really confused about ALL of this. Its hard, Shes a bombshell (cheerleader/gymnastics/horse back riding) shes beautiful, amazing body, awesome personality BUT I can't get over how flirtatious she is. I might just be too jealous, but I don't think that is what it is.. you know? I mean I don't ask her to "tell me where u are going with guys" because I am worried (although I am.. but I trust her), I ask her because I like to know that MY opinion matters and that I am not just some guy in her life. I am pretty sure this is reasonable behavior is it not?


    I appreciate all the comments you guys are leaving, please don't stop.
    Last edited by 8packChris; 06-05-09 at 06:44 AM.

  8. #8
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    Tell her upfront what really bothers you, set some clear samples. Perhaps you guys can meet halfway if both of you wanted to make this relationship work-out.

  9. #9
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    I think you are right

  10. #10
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    Make her want you. I think that'd work.

  11. #11
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    My g/f is a huge flirt..and at first i couldn't take it! But after a while..i realized she flirts with everyone. Her friends, my friends, ugly dudes, everyone. She a bartender and does it at work, and of course she flirted with me at one point. But in the end, i'm the one who she goes home with. It turns out she's just a really nice girl and that's the way she is....she doesn't see it as flirting and has never been unfaithful. If she wanted to cheat on me she could have by now.

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