Complicated situation, unsure what to do

[nutman]

Hi,

I graduated from uni last summer and I'm still unemployed :| All my friends are still studying at uni and I still with live them. At the end of this school year (july) I move out and I move in with some other friends from uni. I'm going to be moving in with 2 guys and 1 gal, for explanations sake lets call them dave, joe and emily. This was decided long ago, way before I started developing any feelings for emily.

We've been friends for a while, but since January I've started to really fall for her. The problem is that I know joe likes her too. She's one of those girls, just somin about her, I can't quite put my finger on it.

Up until last week joe was already in a long-term relationship, but that had been on the ropes for quite some time. joe is a very emotional guy, he doesn't really keep anything in, and I know that he has declared his love for emily to her, but because he was still in his long-term relationship at this point, he didn't pursue it, he just had to 'let it out'. Somehow emily was just able to not let it be an issue, and seems content on living with him next year still, which makes me think maybe she likes him? I'm very good friends with joe, so I obviously don't want to hurt him by trying my hardest to get with emily. I have told joe that I too like emily very much as I foresaw problems arising, and I believe that he too will not try to get with emily, knowing that I like her also.

We all move in together in less than 10 weeks now, and I'm kind of dreading it. At the moment I wake up every morning and fall asleep every night with emily in mind; I feel very in love. I don't want to, but I cannot escape the thoughts. Apart from first thing in the morning and last thing at night though, I'm able to put it out of my mind most of the time, so its bearable. But every time I go and see her at her current address, after the visit I go away with her dominating my thoughts, increasing my love for her. So I think moving in with her is a terrible idea for I will see her every single day, and so will joe, and I think there's going to be some real problems arising. I don't want to hurt joe, but it doesn't stop me thinking about how I could try and get with emily and fulfil my love and be happy, the thoughts are inescapable. And knowing that joe is more inclined to act upon his emotions than I am, I can only assume that he too has the same thoughts, but is more likely to chase them now that he's out of his long-term relationship and wanting some sort of re-bound. I dunno.

Another thing worth mentioning is that emily doesn't really tell anyone how she feels. I don't know if she's ever been in a relationship before, I don't know who she likes / loves. She reminds me of me and my insecurities and confusion when it comes to love, maybe one of the reasons why I like her. But it doesn't really help. I figure there's no point in asking as if we're going to be living together in this love triangle I'd rather not know.

I can only see this ending in disaster. Either both me and joe will have to stay away from pursuing her, which will be torturous for the both of us; or one of the two of us will pursue our feelings and try to get with her, which will end up hurting the person left out.

I am obviously assuming that emily actually cares about either of us. But I have the most wonderful conversations with her, we share those smiles of love, I don't know, it seems clear to me that its more than just a friendship between us. Everytime we're alone together there seems to be this air of sexual tension and an awkward silence often floats around the room lol. Jesus.
I really want to talk to her about the whole thing, but I think in doing so will either create a really awkward situation whilst living together, that's if she doesn't feel the same about me. If she does, then that'll mean that joe will end up getting hurt, for if emily tells me she feels the same, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from being with her, especially in the moment.
I've already spoken to joe about this, but not in much depth, but I don't see the point in bringing it up again, we both know that each of us like her so there's no need to go into more detail right? I just wish I was able to turn off these feelings and just be friends with her. Goddamnit!

Anyone got any good advice other than running away from the whole situation?

[nutman]

lol is my situation really that hopeless? Someone must have a suggestion!

[VincenzoG91]

10 weeks? Use that time to find a different living arrangement and/or start seeing other women.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Or ask out Emily now, and decide what to do based on her answer.